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| 1 | School began in earnest next day. A profound impression was made
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| 2 | upon me, I remember, by the roar of voices in the schoolroom
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| 3 | suddenly becoming hushed as death when Mr. Creakle entered after
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| 4 | breakfast, and stood in the doorway looking round upon us like a
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| 5 | giant in a story-book surveying his captives.
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| 6 | Tungay stood at Mr. Creakle's elbow. He had no occasion, I
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| 7 | thought, to cry out 'Silence!' so ferociously, for the boys were
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| 8 | all struck speechless and motionless.
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| 9 | Mr. Creakle was seen to speak, and Tungay was heard, to this
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| 10 | effect.
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| 11 | 'Now, boys, this is a new half. Take care what you're about, in
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| 12 | this new half. Come fresh up to the lessons, I advise you, for I
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| 13 | come fresh up to the punishment. I won't flinch. It will be of no
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| 14 | use your rubbing yourselves; you won't rub the marks out that I
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| 15 | shall give you. Now get to work, every boy!'
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| 16 | When this dreadful exordium was over, and Tungay had stumped out
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| 17 | again, Mr. Creakle came to where I sat, and told me that if I were
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| 18 | famous for biting, he was famous for biting, too. He then showed
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| 19 | me the cane, and asked me what I thought of THAT, for a tooth? Was
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| 20 | it a sharp tooth, hey? Was it a double tooth, hey? Had it a deep
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| 21 | prong, hey? Did it bite, hey? Did it bite? At every question he
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| 22 | gave me a fleshy cut with it that made me writhe; so I was very
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| 23 | soon made free of Salem House (as Steerforth said), and was very
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| 24 | soon in tears also.
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| 25 | Not that I mean to say these were special marks of distinction,
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| 26 | which only I received. On the contrary, a large majority of the
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| 27 | boys (especially the smaller ones) were visited with similar
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| 28 | instances of notice, as Mr. Creakle made the round of the
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| 29 | schoolroom. Half the establishment was writhing and crying, before
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| 30 | the day's work began; and how much of it had writhed and cried
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| 31 | before the day's work was over, I am really afraid to recollect,
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| 32 | lest I should seem to exaggerate.
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| 33 | I should think there never can have been a man who enjoyed his
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| 34 | profession more than Mr. Creakle did. He had a delight in cutting
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| 35 | at the boys, which was like the satisfaction of a craving appetite.
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| 36 | I am confident that he couldn't resist a chubby boy, especially;
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| 37 | that there was a fascination in such a subject, which made him
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| 38 | restless in his mind, until he had scored and marked him for the
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| 39 | day. I was chubby myself, and ought to know. I am sure when I
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| 40 | think of the fellow now, my blood rises against him with the
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| 41 | disinterested indignation I should feel if I could have known all
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| 42 | about him without having ever been in his power; but it rises
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| 43 | hotly, because I know him to have been an incapable brute, who had
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| 44 | no more right to be possessed of the great trust he held, than to
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| 45 | be Lord High Admiral, or Commander-in-Chief - in either of which
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| 46 | capacities it is probable that he would have done infinitely less
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| 47 | mischief.
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| 48 | Miserable little propitiators of a remorseless Idol, how abject we
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| 49 | were to him! What a launch in life I think it now, on looking
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| 50 | back, to be so mean and servile to a man of such parts and
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| 51 | pretensions!
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| 52 | Here I sit at the desk again, watching his eye - humbly watching
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| 53 | his eye, as he rules a ciphering-book for another victim whose
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| 54 | hands have just been flattened by that identical ruler, and who is
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| 55 | trying to wipe the sting out with a pocket-handkerchief. I have
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| 56 | plenty to do. I don't watch his eye in idleness, but because I am
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| 57 | morbidly attracted to it, in a dread desire to know what he will do
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| 58 | next, and whether it will be my turn to suffer, or somebody else's.
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| 59 | A lane of small boys beyond me, with the same interest in his eye,
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| 60 | watch it too. I think he knows it, though he pretends he don't.
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| 61 | He makes dreadful mouths as he rules the ciphering-book; and now he
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| 62 | throws his eye sideways down our lane, and we all droop over our
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| 63 | books and tremble. A moment afterwards we are again eyeing him.
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| 64 | An unhappy culprit, found guilty of imperfect exercise, approaches
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| 65 | at his command. The culprit falters excuses, and professes a
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| 66 | determination to do better tomorrow. Mr. Creakle cuts a joke
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| 67 | before he beats him, and we laugh at it, - miserable little dogs,
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| 68 | we laugh, with our visages as white as ashes, and our hearts
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| 69 | sinking into our boots.
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| 70 | Here I sit at the desk again, on a drowsy summer afternoon. A buzz
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| 71 | and hum go up around me, as if the boys were so many bluebottles.
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| 72 | A cloggy sensation of the lukewarm fat of meat is upon me (we dined
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| 73 | an hour or two ago), and my head is as heavy as so much lead. I
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| 74 | would give the world to go to sleep. I sit with my eye on Mr.
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| 75 | Creakle, blinking at him like a young owl; when sleep overpowers me
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| 76 | for a minute, he still looms through my slumber, ruling those
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| 77 | ciphering-books, until he softly comes behind me and wakes me to
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| 78 | plainer perception of him, with a red ridge across my back.
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| 79 | Here I am in the playground, with my eye still fascinated by him,
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| 80 | though I can't see him. The window at a little distance from which
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| 81 | I know he is having his dinner, stands for him, and I eye that
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| 82 | instead. If he shows his face near it, mine assumes an imploring
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| 83 | and submissive expression. If he looks out through the glass, the
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| 84 | boldest boy (Steerforth excepted) stops in the middle of a shout or
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| 85 | yell, and becomes contemplative. One day, Traddles (the most
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| 86 | unfortunate boy in the world) breaks that window accidentally, with
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| 87 | a ball. I shudder at this moment with the tremendous sensation of
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| 88 | seeing it done, and feeling that the ball has bounded on to Mr.
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| 89 | Creakle's sacred head.
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| 90 | Poor Traddles! In a tight sky-blue suit that made his arms and
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| 91 | legs like German sausages, or roly-poly puddings, he was the
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| 92 | merriest and most miserable of all the boys. He was always being
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| 93 | caned - I think he was caned every day that half-year, except one
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| 94 | holiday Monday when he was only ruler'd on both hands - and was
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| 95 | always going to write to his uncle about it, and never did. After
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| 96 | laying his head on the desk for a little while, he would cheer up,
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| 97 | somehow, begin to laugh again, and draw skeletons all over his
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| 98 | slate, before his eyes were dry. I used at first to wonder what
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| 99 | comfort Traddles found in drawing skeletons; and for some time
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| 100 | looked upon him as a sort of hermit, who reminded himself by those
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| 101 | symbols of mortality that caning couldn't last for ever. But I
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| 102 | believe he only did it because they were easy, and didn't want any
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| 103 | features.
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| 104 | He was very honourable, Traddles was, and held it as a solemn duty
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| 105 | in the boys to stand by one another. He suffered for this on
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| 106 | several occasions; and particularly once, when Steerforth laughed
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| 107 | in church, and the Beadle thought it was Traddles, and took him
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| 108 | out. I see him now, going away in custody, despised by the
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| 109 | congregation. He never said who was the real offender, though he
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| 110 | smarted for it next day, and was imprisoned so many hours that he
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| 111 | came forth with a whole churchyard-full of skeletons swarming all
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| 112 | over his Latin Dictionary. But he had his reward. Steerforth said
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| 113 | there was nothing of the sneak in Traddles, and we all felt that to
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| 114 | be the highest praise. For my part, I could have gone through a
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| 115 | good deal (though I was much less brave than Traddles, and nothing
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| 116 | like so old) to have won such a recompense.
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| 117 | To see Steerforth walk to church before us, arm-in-arm with Miss
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| 118 | Creakle, was one of the great sights of my life. I didn't think
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| 119 | Miss Creakle equal to little Em'ly in point of beauty, and I didn't
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| 120 | love her (I didn't dare); but I thought her a young lady of
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| 121 | extraordinary attractions, and in point of gentility not to be
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| 122 | surpassed. When Steerforth, in white trousers, carried her parasol
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| 123 | for her, I felt proud to know him; and believed that she could not
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| 124 | choose but adore him with all her heart. Mr. Sharp and Mr. Mell
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| 125 | were both notable personages in my eyes; but Steerforth was to them
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| 126 | what the sun was to two stars.
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| 127 | Steerforth continued his protection of me, and proved a very useful
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| 128 | friend; since nobody dared to annoy one whom he honoured with his
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| 129 | countenance. He couldn't - or at all events he didn't - defend me
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| 130 | from Mr. Creakle, who was very severe with me; but whenever I had
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| 131 | been treated worse than usual, he always told me that I wanted a
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| 132 | little of his pluck, and that he wouldn't have stood it himself;
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| 133 | which I felt he intended for encouragement, and considered to be
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| 134 | very kind of him. There was one advantage, and only one that I
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| 135 | know of, in Mr. Creakle's severity. He found my placard in his way
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| 136 | when he came up or down behind the form on which I sat, and wanted
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| 137 | to make a cut at me in passing; for this reason it was soon taken
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| 138 | off, and I saw it no more.
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| 139 | An accidental circumstance cemented the intimacy between Steerforth
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| 140 | and me, in a manner that inspired me with great pride and
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| 141 | satisfaction, though it sometimes led to inconvenience. It
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| 142 | happened on one occasion, when he was doing me the honour of
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| 143 | talking to me in the playground, that I hazarded the observation
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| 144 | that something or somebody - I forget what now - was like something
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| 145 | or somebody in Peregrine Pickle. He said nothing at the time; but
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| 146 | when I was going to bed at night, asked me if I had got that book?
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| 147 | I told him no, and explained how it was that I had read it, and all
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| 148 | those other books of which I have made mention.
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| 149 | 'And do you recollect them?' Steerforth said.
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| 150 | 'Oh yes,' I replied; I had a good memory, and I believed I
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| 151 | recollected them very well.
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| 152 | 'Then I tell you what, young Copperfield,' said Steerforth, 'you
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| 153 | shall tell 'em to me. I can't get to sleep very early at night,
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| 154 | and I generally wake rather early in the morning. We'll go over
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| 155 | 'em one after another. We'll make some regular Arabian Nights of
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| 156 | it.'
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| 157 | I felt extremely flattered by this arrangement, and we commenced
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| 158 | carrying it into execution that very evening. What ravages I
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| 159 | committed on my favourite authors in the course of my
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| 160 | interpretation of them, I am not in a condition to say, and should
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| 161 | be very unwilling to know; but I had a profound faith in them, and
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| 162 | I had, to the best of my belief, a simple, earnest manner of
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| 163 | narrating what I did narrate; and these qualities went a long way.
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| 164 | The drawback was, that I was often sleepy at night, or out of
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| 165 | spirits and indisposed to resume the story; and then it was rather
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| 166 | hard work, and it must be done; for to disappoint or to displease
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| 167 | Steerforth was of course out of the question. In the morning, too,
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| 168 | when I felt weary, and should have enjoyed another hour's repose
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| 169 | very much, it was a tiresome thing to be roused, like the Sultana
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| 170 | Scheherazade, and forced into a long story before the getting-up
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| 171 | bell rang; but Steerforth was resolute; and as he explained to me,
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| 172 | in return, my sums and exercises, and anything in my tasks that was
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| 173 | too hard for me, I was no loser by the transaction. Let me do
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| 174 | myself justice, however. I was moved by no interested or selfish
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| 175 | motive, nor was I moved by fear of him. I admired and loved him,
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| 176 | and his approval was return enough. It was so precious to me that
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| 177 | I look back on these trifles, now, with an aching heart.
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| 178 | Steerforth was considerate, too; and showed his consideration, in
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| 179 | one particular instance, in an unflinching manner that was a little
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| 180 | tantalizing, I suspect, to poor Traddles and the rest. Peggotty's
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| 181 | promised letter - what a comfortable letter it was! - arrived
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| 182 | before 'the half' was many weeks old; and with it a cake in a
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| 183 | perfect nest of oranges, and two bottles of cowslip wine. This
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| 184 | treasure, as in duty bound, I laid at the feet of Steerforth, and
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| 185 | begged him to dispense.
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| 186 | 'Now, I'll tell you what, young Copperfield,' said he: 'the wine
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| 187 | shall be kept to wet your whistle when you are story-telling.'
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| 188 | I blushed at the idea, and begged him, in my modesty, not to think
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| 189 | of it. But he said he had observed I was sometimes hoarse - a
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| 190 | little roopy was his exact expression - and it should be, every
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| 191 | drop, devoted to the purpose he had mentioned. Accordingly, it was
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| 192 | locked up in his box, and drawn off by himself in a phial, and
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| 193 | administered to me through a piece of quill in the cork, when I was
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| 194 | supposed to be in want of a restorative. Sometimes, to make it a
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| 195 | more sovereign specific, he was so kind as to squeeze orange juice
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| 196 | into it, or to stir it up with ginger, or dissolve a peppermint
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| 197 | drop in it; and although I cannot assert that the flavour was
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| 198 | improved by these experiments, or that it was exactly the compound
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| 199 | one would have chosen for a stomachic, the last thing at night and
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| 200 | the first thing in the morning, I drank it gratefully and was very
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| 201 | sensible of his attention.
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| 202 | We seem, to me, to have been months over Peregrine, and months more
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| 203 | over the other stories. The institution never flagged for want of
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| 204 | a story, I am certain; and the wine lasted out almost as well as
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| 205 | the matter. Poor Traddles - I never think of that boy but with a
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| 206 | strange disposition to laugh, and with tears in my eyes - was a
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| 207 | sort of chorus, in general; and affected to be convulsed with mirth
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| 208 | at the comic parts, and to be overcome with fear when there was any
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| 209 | passage of an alarming character in the narrative. This rather put
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| 210 | me out, very often. It was a great jest of his, I recollect, to
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| 211 | pretend that he couldn't keep his teeth from chattering, whenever
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| 212 | mention was made of an Alguazill in connexion with the adventures
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| 213 | of Gil Blas; and I remember that when Gil Blas met the captain of
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| 214 | the robbers in Madrid, this unlucky joker counterfeited such an
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| 215 | ague of terror, that he was overheard by Mr. Creakle, who was
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| 216 | prowling about the passage, and handsomely flogged for disorderly
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| 217 | conduct in the bedroom.
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| 218 | Whatever I had within me that was romantic and dreamy, was
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| 219 | encouraged by so much story-telling in the dark; and in that
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| 220 | respect the pursuit may not have been very profitable to me. But
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| 221 | the being cherished as a kind of plaything in my room, and the
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| 222 | consciousness that this accomplishment of mine was bruited about
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| 223 | among the boys, and attracted a good deal of notice to me though I
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| 224 | was the youngest there, stimulated me to exertion. In a school
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| 225 | carried on by sheer cruelty, whether it is presided over by a dunce
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| 226 | or not, there is not likely to be much learnt. I believe our boys
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| 227 | were, generally, as ignorant a set as any schoolboys in existence;
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| 228 | they were too much troubled and knocked about to learn; they could
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| 229 | no more do that to advantage, than any one can do anything to
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| 230 | advantage in a life of constant misfortune, torment, and worry.
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| 231 | But my little vanity, and Steerforth's help, urged me on somehow;
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| 232 | and without saving me from much, if anything, in the way of
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| 233 | punishment, made me, for the time I was there, an exception to the
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| 234 | general body, insomuch that I did steadily pick up some crumbs of
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| 235 | knowledge.
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| 236 | In this I was much assisted by Mr. Mell, who had a liking for me
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| 237 | that I am grateful to remember. It always gave me pain to observe
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| 238 | that Steerforth treated him with systematic disparagement, and
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| 239 | seldom lost an occasion of wounding his feelings, or inducing
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| 240 | others to do so. This troubled me the more for a long time,
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| 241 | because I had soon told Steerforth, from whom I could no more keep
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| 242 | such a secret, than I could keep a cake or any other tangible
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| 243 | possession, about the two old women Mr. Mell had taken me to see;
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| 244 | and I was always afraid that Steerforth would let it out, and twit
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| 245 | him with it.
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| 246 | We little thought, any one of us, I dare say, when I ate my
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| 247 | breakfast that first morning, and went to sleep under the shadow of
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| 248 | the peacock's feathers to the sound of the flute, what consequences
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| 249 | would come of the introduction into those alms-houses of my
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| 250 | insignificant person. But the visit had its unforeseen
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| 251 | consequences; and of a serious sort, too, in their way.
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| 252 | One day when Mr. Creakle kept the house from indisposition, which
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| 253 | naturally diffused a lively joy through the school, there was a
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| 254 | good deal of noise in the course of the morning's work. The great
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| 255 | relief and satisfaction experienced by the boys made them difficult
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| 256 | to manage; and though the dreaded Tungay brought his wooden leg in
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| 257 | twice or thrice, and took notes of the principal offenders' names,
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| 258 | no great impression was made by it, as they were pretty sure of
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| 259 | getting into trouble tomorrow, do what they would, and thought it
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| 260 | wise, no doubt, to enjoy themselves today.
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| 261 | It was, properly, a half-holiday; being Saturday. But as the noise
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| 262 | in the playground would have disturbed Mr. Creakle, and the weather
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| 263 | was not favourable for going out walking, we were ordered into
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| 264 | school in the afternoon, and set some lighter tasks than usual,
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| 265 | which were made for the occasion. It was the day of the week on
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| 266 | which Mr. Sharp went out to get his wig curled; so Mr. Mell, who
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| 267 | always did the drudgery, whatever it was, kept school by himself.
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| 268 | If I could associate the idea of a bull or a bear with anyone so
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| 269 | mild as Mr. Mell, I should think of him, in connexion with that
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| 270 | afternoon when the uproar was at its height, as of one of those
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| 271 | animals, baited by a thousand dogs. I recall him bending his
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| 272 | aching head, supported on his bony hand, over the book on his desk,
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| 273 | and wretchedly endeavouring to get on with his tiresome work,
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| 274 | amidst an uproar that might have made the Speaker of the House of
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| 275 | Commons giddy. Boys started in and out of their places, playing at
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| 276 | puss in the corner with other boys; there were laughing boys,
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| 277 | singing boys, talking boys, dancing boys, howling boys; boys
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| 278 | shuffled with their feet, boys whirled about him, grinning, making
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| 279 | faces, mimicking him behind his back and before his eyes; mimicking
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| 280 | his poverty, his boots, his coat, his mother, everything belonging
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| 281 | to him that they should have had consideration for.
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| 282 | 'Silence!' cried Mr. Mell, suddenly rising up, and striking his
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| 283 | desk with the book. 'What does this mean! It's impossible to bear
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| 284 | it. It's maddening. How can you do it to me, boys?'
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| 285 | It was my book that he struck his desk with; and as I stood beside
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| 286 | him, following his eye as it glanced round the room, I saw the boys
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| 287 | all stop, some suddenly surprised, some half afraid, and some sorry
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| 288 | perhaps.
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| 289 | Steerforth's place was at the bottom of the school, at the opposite
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| 290 | end of the long room. He was lounging with his back against the
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| 291 | wall, and his hands in his pockets, and looked at Mr. Mell with his
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| 292 | mouth shut up as if he were whistling, when Mr. Mell looked at him.
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| 293 | 'Silence, Mr. Steerforth!' said Mr. Mell.
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| 294 | 'Silence yourself,' said Steerforth, turning red. 'Whom are you
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| 295 | talking to?'
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| 296 | 'Sit down,' said Mr. Mell.
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| 297 | 'Sit down yourself,' said Steerforth, 'and mind your business.'
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| 298 | There was a titter, and some applause; but Mr. Mell was so white,
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| 299 | that silence immediately succeeded; and one boy, who had darted out
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| 300 | behind him to imitate his mother again, changed his mind, and
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| 301 | pretended to want a pen mended.
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| 302 | 'If you think, Steerforth,' said Mr. Mell, 'that I am not
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| 303 | acquainted with the power you can establish over any mind here' -
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| 304 | he laid his hand, without considering what he did (as I supposed),
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| 305 | upon my head - 'or that I have not observed you, within a few
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| 306 | minutes, urging your juniors on to every sort of outrage against
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| 307 | me, you are mistaken.'
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| 308 | 'I don't give myself the trouble of thinking at all about you,'
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| 309 | said Steerforth, coolly; 'so I'm not mistaken, as it happens.'
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| 310 | 'And when you make use of your position of favouritism here, sir,'
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| 311 | pursued Mr. Mell, with his lip trembling very much, 'to insult a
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| 312 | gentleman -'
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| 313 | 'A what? - where is he?' said Steerforth.
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| 314 | Here somebody cried out, 'Shame, J. Steerforth! Too bad!' It was
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| 315 | Traddles; whom Mr. Mell instantly discomfited by bidding him hold
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| 316 | his tongue.
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| 317 | - 'To insult one who is not fortunate in life, sir, and who never
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| 318 | gave you the least offence, and the many reasons for not insulting
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| 319 | whom you are old enough and wise enough to understand,' said Mr.
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| 320 | Mell, with his lips trembling more and more, 'you commit a mean and
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| 321 | base action. You can sit down or stand up as you please, sir.
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| 322 | Copperfield, go on.'
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| 323 | 'Young Copperfield,' said Steerforth, coming forward up the room,
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| 324 | 'stop a bit. I tell you what, Mr. Mell, once for all. When you
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| 325 | take the liberty of calling me mean or base, or anything of that
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| 326 | sort, you are an impudent beggar. You are always a beggar, you
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| 327 | know; but when you do that, you are an impudent beggar.'
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| 328 | I am not clear whether he was going to strike Mr. Mell, or Mr. Mell
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| 329 | was going to strike him, or there was any such intention on either
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| 330 | side. I saw a rigidity come upon the whole school as if they had
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| 331 | been turned into stone, and found Mr. Creakle in the midst of us,
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| 332 | with Tungay at his side, and Mrs. and Miss Creakle looking in at
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| 333 | the door as if they were frightened. Mr. Mell, with his elbows on
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| 334 | his desk and his face in his hands, sat, for some moments, quite
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| 335 | still.
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| 336 | 'Mr. Mell,' said Mr. Creakle, shaking him by the arm; and his
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| 337 | whisper was so audible now, that Tungay felt it unnecessary to
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| 338 | repeat his words; 'you have not forgotten yourself, I hope?'
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| 339 | 'No, sir, no,' returned the Master, showing his face, and shaking
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| 340 | his head, and rubbing his hands in great agitation. 'No, sir. No.
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| 341 | I have remembered myself, I - no, Mr. Creakle, I have not forgotten
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| 342 | myself, I - I have remembered myself, sir. I - I - could wish you
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| 343 | had remembered me a little sooner, Mr. Creakle. It - it - would
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| 344 | have been more kind, sir, more just, sir. It would have saved me
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| 345 | something, sir.'
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| 346 | Mr. Creakle, looking hard at Mr. Mell, put his hand on Tungay's
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| 347 | shoulder, and got his feet upon the form close by, and sat upon the
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| 348 | desk. After still looking hard at Mr. Mell from his throne, as he
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| 349 | shook his head, and rubbed his hands, and remained in the same
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| 350 | state of agitation, Mr. Creakle turned to Steerforth, and said:
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| 351 | 'Now, sir, as he don't condescend to tell me, what is this?'
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| 352 | Steerforth evaded the question for a little while; looking in scorn
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| 353 | and anger on his opponent, and remaining silent. I could not help
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| 354 | thinking even in that interval, I remember, what a noble fellow he
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| 355 | was in appearance, and how homely and plain Mr. Mell looked opposed
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| 356 | to him.
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| 357 | 'What did he mean by talking about favourites, then?' said
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| 358 | Steerforth at length.
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| 359 | 'Favourites?' repeated Mr. Creakle, with the veins in his forehead
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| 360 | swelling quickly. 'Who talked about favourites?'
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| 361 | 'He did,' said Steerforth.
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| 362 | 'And pray, what did you mean by that, sir?' demanded Mr. Creakle,
|
| 363 | turning angrily on his assistant.
|
| 364 | 'I meant, Mr. Creakle,' he returned in a low voice, 'as I said;
|
| 365 | that no pupil had a right to avail himself of his position of
|
| 366 | favouritism to degrade me.'
|
| 367 | 'To degrade YOU?' said Mr. Creakle. 'My stars! But give me leave
|
| 368 | to ask you, Mr. What's-your-name'; and here Mr. Creakle folded his
|
| 369 | arms, cane and all, upon his chest, and made such a knot of his
|
| 370 | brows that his little eyes were hardly visible below them;
|
| 371 | 'whether, when you talk about favourites, you showed proper respect
|
| 372 | to me? To me, sir,' said Mr. Creakle, darting his head at him
|
| 373 | suddenly, and drawing it back again, 'the principal of this
|
| 374 | establishment, and your employer.'
|
| 375 | 'It was not judicious, sir, I am willing to admit,' said Mr. Mell.
|
| 376 | 'I should not have done so, if I had been cool.'
|
| 377 | Here Steerforth struck in.
|
| 378 | 'Then he said I was mean, and then he said I was base, and then I
|
| 379 | called him a beggar. If I had been cool, perhaps I shouldn't have
|
| 380 | called him a beggar. But I did, and I am ready to take the
|
| 381 | consequences of it.'
|
| 382 | Without considering, perhaps, whether there were any consequences
|
| 383 | to be taken, I felt quite in a glow at this gallant speech. It
|
| 384 | made an impression on the boys too, for there was a low stir among
|
| 385 | them, though no one spoke a word.
|
| 386 | 'I am surprised, Steerforth - although your candour does you
|
| 387 | honour,' said Mr. Creakle, 'does you honour, certainly - I am
|
| 388 | surprised, Steerforth, I must say, that you should attach such an
|
| 389 | epithet to any person employed and paid in Salem House, sir.'
|
| 390 | Steerforth gave a short laugh.
|
| 391 | 'That's not an answer, sir,' said Mr. Creakle, 'to my remark. I
|
| 392 | expect more than that from you, Steerforth.'
|
| 393 | If Mr. Mell looked homely, in my eyes, before the handsome boy, it
|
| 394 | would be quite impossible to say how homely Mr. Creakle looked.
|
| 395 | 'Let him deny it,' said Steerforth.
|
| 396 | 'Deny that he is a beggar, Steerforth?' cried Mr. Creakle. 'Why,
|
| 397 | where does he go a-begging?'
|
| 398 | 'If he is not a beggar himself, his near relation's one,' said
|
| 399 | Steerforth. 'It's all the same.'
|
| 400 | He glanced at me, and Mr. Mell's hand gently patted me upon the
|
| 401 | shoulder. I looked up with a flush upon my face and remorse in my
|
| 402 | heart, but Mr. Mell's eyes were fixed on Steerforth. He continued
|
| 403 | to pat me kindly on the shoulder, but he looked at him.
|
| 404 | 'Since you expect me, Mr. Creakle, to justify myself,' said
|
| 405 | Steerforth, 'and to say what I mean, - what I have to say is, that
|
| 406 | his mother lives on charity in an alms-house.'
|
| 407 | Mr. Mell still looked at him, and still patted me kindly on the
|
| 408 | shoulder, and said to himself, in a whisper, if I heard right:
|
| 409 | 'Yes, I thought so.'
|
| 410 | Mr. Creakle turned to his assistant, with a severe frown and
|
| 411 | laboured politeness:
|
| 412 | 'Now, you hear what this gentleman says, Mr. Mell. Have the
|
| 413 | goodness, if you please, to set him right before the assembled
|
| 414 | school.'
|
| 415 | 'He is right, sir, without correction,' returned Mr. Mell, in the
|
| 416 | midst of a dead silence; 'what he has said is true.'
|
| 417 | 'Be so good then as declare publicly, will you,' said Mr. Creakle,
|
| 418 | putting his head on one side, and rolling his eyes round the
|
| 419 | school, 'whether it ever came to my knowledge until this moment?'
|
| 420 | 'I believe not directly,' he returned.
|
| 421 | 'Why, you know not,' said Mr. Creakle. 'Don't you, man?'
|
| 422 | 'I apprehend you never supposed my worldly circumstances to be very
|
| 423 | good,' replied the assistant. 'You know what my position is, and
|
| 424 | always has been, here.'
|
| 425 | 'I apprehend, if you come to that,' said Mr. Creakle, with his
|
| 426 | veins swelling again bigger than ever, 'that you've been in a wrong
|
| 427 | position altogether, and mistook this for a charity school. Mr.
|
| 428 | Mell, we'll part, if you please. The sooner the better.'
|
| 429 | 'There is no time,' answered Mr. Mell, rising, 'like the present.'
|
| 430 | 'Sir, to you!' said Mr. Creakle.
|
| 431 | 'I take my leave of you, Mr. Creakle, and all of you,' said Mr.
|
| 432 | Mell, glancing round the room, and again patting me gently on the
|
| 433 | shoulders. 'James Steerforth, the best wish I can leave you is
|
| 434 | that you may come to be ashamed of what you have done today. At
|
| 435 | present I would prefer to see you anything rather than a friend, to
|
| 436 | me, or to anyone in whom I feel an interest.'
|
| 437 | Once more he laid his hand upon my shoulder; and then taking his
|
| 438 | flute and a few books from his desk, and leaving the key in it for
|
| 439 | his successor, he went out of the school, with his property under
|
| 440 | his arm. Mr. Creakle then made a speech, through Tungay, in which
|
| 441 | he thanked Steerforth for asserting (though perhaps too warmly) the
|
| 442 | independence and respectability of Salem House; and which he wound
|
| 443 | up by shaking hands with Steerforth, while we gave three cheers -
|
| 444 | I did not quite know what for, but I supposed for Steerforth, and
|
| 445 | so joined in them ardently, though I felt miserable. Mr. Creakle
|
| 446 | then caned Tommy Traddles for being discovered in tears, instead of
|
| 447 | cheers, on account of Mr. Mell's departure; and went back to his
|
| 448 | sofa, or his bed, or wherever he had come from.
|
| 449 | We were left to ourselves now, and looked very blank, I recollect,
|
| 450 | on one another. For myself, I felt so much self-reproach and
|
| 451 | contrition for my part in what had happened, that nothing would
|
| 452 | have enabled me to keep back my tears but the fear that Steerforth,
|
| 453 | who often looked at me, I saw, might think it unfriendly - or, I
|
| 454 | should rather say, considering our relative ages, and the feeling
|
| 455 | with which I regarded him, undutiful - if I showed the emotion
|
| 456 | which distressed me. He was very angry with Traddles, and said he
|
| 457 | was glad he had caught it.
|
| 458 | Poor Traddles, who had passed the stage of lying with his head upon
|
| 459 | the desk, and was relieving himself as usual with a burst of
|
| 460 | skeletons, said he didn't care. Mr. Mell was ill-used.
|
| 461 | 'Who has ill-used him, you girl?' said Steerforth.
|
| 462 | 'Why, you have,' returned Traddles.
|
| 463 | 'What have I done?' said Steerforth.
|
| 464 | 'What have you done?' retorted Traddles. 'Hurt his feelings, and
|
| 465 | lost him his situation.'
|
| 466 | 'His feelings?' repeated Steerforth disdainfully. 'His feelings
|
| 467 | will soon get the better of it, I'll be bound. His feelings are
|
| 468 | not like yours, Miss Traddles. As to his situation - which was a
|
| 469 | precious one, wasn't it? - do you suppose I am not going to write
|
| 470 | home, and take care that he gets some money? Polly?'
|
| 471 | We thought this intention very noble in Steerforth, whose mother
|
| 472 | was a widow, and rich, and would do almost anything, it was said,
|
| 473 | that he asked her. We were all extremely glad to see Traddles so
|
| 474 | put down, and exalted Steerforth to the skies: especially when he
|
| 475 | told us, as he condescended to do, that what he had done had been
|
| 476 | done expressly for us, and for our cause; and that he had conferred
|
| 477 | a great boon upon us by unselfishly doing it.
|
| 478 | But I must say that when I was going on with a story in the dark
|
| 479 | that night, Mr. Mell's old flute seemed more than once to sound
|
| 480 | mournfully in my ears; and that when at last Steerforth was tired,
|
| 481 | and I lay down in my bed, I fancied it playing so sorrowfully
|
| 482 | somewhere, that I was quite wretched.
|
| 483 | I soon forgot him in the contemplation of Steerforth, who, in an
|
| 484 | easy amateur way, and without any book (he seemed to me to know
|
| 485 | everything by heart), took some of his classes until a new master
|
| 486 | was found. The new master came from a grammar school; and before
|
| 487 | he entered on his duties, dined in the parlour one day, to be
|
| 488 | introduced to Steerforth. Steerforth approved of him highly, and
|
| 489 | told us he was a Brick. Without exactly understanding what learned
|
| 490 | distinction was meant by this, I respected him greatly for it, and
|
| 491 | had no doubt whatever of his superior knowledge: though he never
|
| 492 | took the pains with me - not that I was anybody - that Mr. Mell had
|
| 493 | taken.
|
| 494 | There was only one other event in this half-year, out of the daily
|
| 495 | school-life, that made an impression upon me which still survives.
|
| 496 | It survives for many reasons.
|
| 497 | One afternoon, when we were all harassed into a state of dire
|
| 498 | confusion, and Mr. Creakle was laying about him dreadfully, Tungay
|
| 499 | came in, and called out in his usual strong way: 'Visitors for
|
| 500 | Copperfield!'
|
| 501 | A few words were interchanged between him and Mr. Creakle, as, who
|
| 502 | the visitors were, and what room they were to be shown into; and
|
| 503 | then I, who had, according to custom, stood up on the announcement
|
| 504 | being made, and felt quite faint with astonishment, was told to go
|
| 505 | by the back stairs and get a clean frill on, before I repaired to
|
| 506 | the dining-room. These orders I obeyed, in such a flutter and
|
| 507 | hurry of my young spirits as I had never known before; and when I
|
| 508 | got to the parlour door, and the thought came into my head that it
|
| 509 | might be my mother - I had only thought of Mr. or Miss Murdstone
|
| 510 | until then - I drew back my hand from the lock, and stopped to have
|
| 511 | a sob before I went in.
|
| 512 | At first I saw nobody; but feeling a pressure against the door, I
|
| 513 | looked round it, and there, to my amazement, were Mr. Peggotty and
|
| 514 | Ham, ducking at me with their hats, and squeezing one another
|
| 515 | against the wall. I could not help laughing; but it was much more
|
| 516 | in the pleasure of seeing them, than at the appearance they made.
|
| 517 | We shook hands in a very cordial way; and I laughed and laughed,
|
| 518 | until I pulled out my pocket-handkerchief and wiped my eyes.
|
| 519 | Mr. Peggotty (who never shut his mouth once, I remember, during the
|
| 520 | visit) showed great concern when he saw me do this, and nudged Ham
|
| 521 | to say something.
|
| 522 | 'Cheer up, Mas'r Davy bor'!' said Ham, in his simpering way. 'Why,
|
| 523 | how you have growed!'
|
| 524 | 'Am I grown?' I said, drying my eyes. I was not crying at anything
|
| 525 | in particular that I know of; but somehow it made me cry, to see
|
| 526 | old friends.
|
| 527 | 'Growed, Mas'r Davy bor'? Ain't he growed!' said Ham.
|
| 528 | 'Ain't he growed!' said Mr. Peggotty.
|
| 529 | They made me laugh again by laughing at each other, and then we all
|
| 530 | three laughed until I was in danger of crying again.
|
| 531 | 'Do you know how mama is, Mr. Peggotty?' I said. 'And how my dear,
|
| 532 | dear, old Peggotty is?'
|
| 533 | 'Oncommon,' said Mr. Peggotty.
|
| 534 | 'And little Em'ly, and Mrs. Gummidge?'
|
| 535 | 'On - common,' said Mr. Peggotty.
|
| 536 | There was a silence. Mr. Peggotty, to relieve it, took two
|
| 537 | prodigious lobsters, and an enormous crab, and a large canvas bag
|
| 538 | of shrimps, out of his pockets, and piled them up in Ham's arms.
|
| 539 | 'You see,' said Mr. Peggotty, 'knowing as you was partial to a
|
| 540 | little relish with your wittles when you was along with us, we took
|
| 541 | the liberty. The old Mawther biled 'em, she did. Mrs. Gummidge
|
| 542 | biled 'em. Yes,' said Mr. Peggotty, slowly, who I thought appeared
|
| 543 | to stick to the subject on account of having no other subject
|
| 544 | ready, 'Mrs. Gummidge, I do assure you, she biled 'em.'
|
| 545 | I expressed my thanks; and Mr. Peggotty, after looking at Ham, who
|
| 546 | stood smiling sheepishly over the shellfish, without making any
|
| 547 | attempt to help him, said:
|
| 548 | 'We come, you see, the wind and tide making in our favour, in one
|
| 549 | of our Yarmouth lugs to Gravesen'. My sister she wrote to me the
|
| 550 | name of this here place, and wrote to me as if ever I chanced to
|
| 551 | come to Gravesen', I was to come over and inquire for Mas'r Davy
|
| 552 | and give her dooty, humbly wishing him well and reporting of the
|
| 553 | fam'ly as they was oncommon toe-be-sure. Little Em'ly, you see,
|
| 554 | she'll write to my sister when I go back, as I see you and as you
|
| 555 | was similarly oncommon, and so we make it quite a merry-
|
| 556 | go-rounder.'
|
| 557 | I was obliged to consider a little before I understood what Mr.
|
| 558 | Peggotty meant by this figure, expressive of a complete circle of
|
| 559 | intelligence. I then thanked him heartily; and said, with a
|
| 560 | consciousness of reddening, that I supposed little Em'ly was
|
| 561 | altered too, since we used to pick up shells and pebbles on the
|
| 562 | beach?
|
| 563 | 'She's getting to be a woman, that's wot she's getting to be,' said
|
| 564 | Mr. Peggotty. 'Ask HIM.'
|
| 565 | He meant Ham, who beamed with delight and assent over the bag of
|
| 566 | shrimps.
|
| 567 | 'Her pretty face!' said Mr. Peggotty, with his own shining like a
|
| 568 | light.
|
| 569 | 'Her learning!' said Ham.
|
| 570 | 'Her writing!' said Mr. Peggotty. 'Why it's as black as jet! And
|
| 571 | so large it is, you might see it anywheres.'
|
| 572 | It was perfectly delightful to behold with what enthusiasm Mr.
|
| 573 | Peggotty became inspired when he thought of his little favourite.
|
| 574 | He stands before me again, his bluff hairy face irradiating with a
|
| 575 | joyful love and pride, for which I can find no description. His
|
| 576 | honest eyes fire up, and sparkle, as if their depths were stirred
|
| 577 | by something bright. His broad chest heaves with pleasure. His
|
| 578 | strong loose hands clench themselves, in his earnestness; and he
|
| 579 | emphasizes what he says with a right arm that shows, in my pigmy
|
| 580 | view, like a sledge-hammer.
|
| 581 | Ham was quite as earnest as he. I dare say they would have said
|
| 582 | much more about her, if they had not been abashed by the unexpected
|
| 583 | coming in of Steerforth, who, seeing me in a corner speaking with
|
| 584 | two strangers, stopped in a song he was singing, and said: 'I
|
| 585 | didn't know you were here, young Copperfield!' (for it was not the
|
| 586 | usual visiting room) and crossed by us on his way out.
|
| 587 | I am not sure whether it was in the pride of having such a friend
|
| 588 | as Steerforth, or in the desire to explain to him how I came to
|
| 589 | have such a friend as Mr. Peggotty, that I called to him as he was
|
| 590 | going away. But I said, modestly - Good Heaven, how it all comes
|
| 591 | back to me this long time afterwards! -
|
| 592 | 'Don't go, Steerforth, if you please. These are two Yarmouth
|
| 593 | boatmen - very kind, good people - who are relations of my nurse,
|
| 594 | and have come from Gravesend to see me.'
|
| 595 | 'Aye, aye?' said Steerforth, returning. 'I am glad to see them.
|
| 596 | How are you both?'
|
| 597 | There was an ease in his manner - a gay and light manner it was,
|
| 598 | but not swaggering - which I still believe to have borne a kind of
|
| 599 | enchantment with it. I still believe him, in virtue of this
|
| 600 | carriage, his animal spirits, his delightful voice, his handsome
|
| 601 | face and figure, and, for aught I know, of some inborn power of
|
| 602 | attraction besides (which I think a few people possess), to have
|
| 603 | carried a spell with him to which it was a natural weakness to
|
| 604 | yield, and which not many persons could withstand. I could not but
|
| 605 | see how pleased they were with him, and how they seemed to open
|
| 606 | their hearts to him in a moment.
|
| 607 | 'You must let them know at home, if you please, Mr. Peggotty,' I
|
| 608 | said, 'when that letter is sent, that Mr. Steerforth is very kind
|
| 609 | to me, and that I don't know what I should ever do here without
|
| 610 | him.'
|
| 611 | 'Nonsense!' said Steerforth, laughing. 'You mustn't tell them
|
| 612 | anything of the sort.'
|
| 613 | 'And if Mr. Steerforth ever comes into Norfolk or Suffolk, Mr.
|
| 614 | Peggotty,' I said, 'while I am there, you may depend upon it I
|
| 615 | shall bring him to Yarmouth, if he will let me, to see your house.
|
| 616 | You never saw such a good house, Steerforth. It's made out of a
|
| 617 | boat!'
|
| 618 | 'Made out of a boat, is it?' said Steerforth. 'It's the right sort
|
| 619 | of a house for such a thorough-built boatman.'
|
| 620 | 'So 'tis, sir, so 'tis, sir,' said Ham, grinning. 'You're right,
|
| 621 | young gen'l'm'n! Mas'r Davy bor', gen'l'm'n's right. A thorough-
|
| 622 | built boatman! Hor, hor! That's what he is, too!'
|
| 623 | Mr. Peggotty was no less pleased than his nephew, though his
|
| 624 | modesty forbade him to claim a personal compliment so vociferously.
|
| 625 | 'Well, sir,' he said, bowing and chuckling, and tucking in the ends
|
| 626 | of his neckerchief at his breast: 'I thankee, sir, I thankee! I do
|
| 627 | my endeavours in my line of life, sir.'
|
| 628 | 'The best of men can do no more, Mr. Peggotty,' said Steerforth.
|
| 629 | He had got his name already.
|
| 630 | 'I'll pound it, it's wot you do yourself, sir,' said Mr. Peggotty,
|
| 631 | shaking his head, 'and wot you do well - right well! I thankee,
|
| 632 | sir. I'm obleeged to you, sir, for your welcoming manner of me.
|
| 633 | I'm rough, sir, but I'm ready - least ways, I hope I'm ready, you
|
| 634 | unnerstand. My house ain't much for to see, sir, but it's hearty
|
| 635 | at your service if ever you should come along with Mas'r Davy to
|
| 636 | see it. I'm a reg'lar Dodman, I am,' said Mr. Peggotty, by which
|
| 637 | he meant snail, and this was in allusion to his being slow to go,
|
| 638 | for he had attempted to go after every sentence, and had somehow or
|
| 639 | other come back again; 'but I wish you both well, and I wish you
|
| 640 | happy!'
|
| 641 | Ham echoed this sentiment, and we parted with them in the heartiest
|
| 642 | manner. I was almost tempted that evening to tell Steerforth about
|
| 643 | pretty little Em'ly, but I was too timid of mentioning her name,
|
| 644 | and too much afraid of his laughing at me. I remember that I
|
| 645 | thought a good deal, and in an uneasy sort of way, about Mr.
|
| 646 | Peggotty having said that she was getting on to be a woman; but I
|
| 647 | decided that was nonsense.
|
| 648 | We transported the shellfish, or the 'relish' as Mr. Peggotty had
|
| 649 | modestly called it, up into our room unobserved, and made a great
|
| 650 | supper that evening. But Traddles couldn't get happily out of it.
|
| 651 | He was too unfortunate even to come through a supper like anybody
|
| 652 | else. He was taken ill in the night - quite prostrate he was - in
|
| 653 | consequence of Crab; and after being drugged with black draughts
|
| 654 | and blue pills, to an extent which Demple (whose father was a
|
| 655 | doctor) said was enough to undermine a horse's constitution,
|
| 656 | received a caning and six chapters of Greek Testament for refusing
|
| 657 | to confess.
|
| 658 | The rest of the half-year is a jumble in my recollection of the
|
| 659 | daily strife and struggle of our lives; of the waning summer and
|
| 660 | the changing season; of the frosty mornings when we were rung out
|
| 661 | of bed, and the cold, cold smell of the dark nights when we were
|
| 662 | rung into bed again; of the evening schoolroom dimly lighted and
|
| 663 | indifferently warmed, and the morning schoolroom which was nothing
|
| 664 | but a great shivering-machine; of the alternation of boiled beef
|
| 665 | with roast beef, and boiled mutton with roast mutton; of clods of
|
| 666 | bread-and-butter, dog's-eared lesson-books, cracked slates,
|
| 667 | tear-blotted copy-books, canings, rulerings, hair-cuttings, rainy
|
| 668 | Sundays, suet-puddings, and a dirty atmosphere of ink, surrounding
|
| 669 | all.
|
| 670 | I well remember though, how the distant idea of the holidays, after
|
| 671 | seeming for an immense time to be a stationary speck, began to come
|
| 672 | towards us, and to grow and grow. How from counting months, we
|
| 673 | came to weeks, and then to days; and how I then began to be afraid
|
| 674 | that I should not be sent for and when I learnt from Steerforth
|
| 675 | that I had been sent for, and was certainly to go home, had dim
|
| 676 | forebodings that I might break my leg first. How the breaking-up
|
| 677 | day changed its place fast, at last, from the week after next to
|
| 678 | next week, this week, the day after tomorrow, tomorrow, today,
|
| 679 | tonight - when I was inside the Yarmouth mail, and going home.
|
| 680 | I had many a broken sleep inside the Yarmouth mail, and many an
|
| 681 | incoherent dream of all these things. But when I awoke at
|
| 682 | intervals, the ground outside the window was not the playground of
|
| 683 | Salem House, and the sound in my ears was not the sound of Mr.
|
| 684 | Creakle giving it to Traddles, but the sound of the coachman
|
| 685 | touching up the horses.
|