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Charles Dickens
Chapter 7
Charles Dickens
 
 
1       School began in earnest next day. A profound impression was made
2  upon me, I remember, by the roar of voices in the schoolroom
3  suddenly becoming hushed as death when Mr. Creakle entered after
4  breakfast, and stood in the doorway looking round upon us like a
5  giant in a story-book surveying his captives.

6       Tungay stood at Mr. Creakle's elbow. He had no occasion, I
7  thought, to cry out 'Silence!' so ferociously, for the boys were
8  all struck speechless and motionless.

9       Mr. Creakle was seen to speak, and Tungay was heard, to this
10  effect.

11       'Now, boys, this is a new half. Take care what you're about, in
12  this new half. Come fresh up to the lessons, I advise you, for I
13  come fresh up to the punishment. I won't flinch. It will be of no
14  use your rubbing yourselves; you won't rub the marks out that I
15  shall give you. Now get to work, every boy!'

16       When this dreadful exordium was over, and Tungay had stumped out
17  again, Mr. Creakle came to where I sat, and told me that if I were
18  famous for biting, he was famous for biting, too. He then showed
19  me the cane, and asked me what I thought of THAT, for a tooth? Was
20  it a sharp tooth, hey? Was it a double tooth, hey? Had it a deep
21  prong, hey? Did it bite, hey? Did it bite? At every question he
22  gave me a fleshy cut with it that made me writhe; so I was very
23  soon made free of Salem House (as Steerforth said), and was very
24  soon in tears also.

25       Not that I mean to say these were special marks of distinction,
26  which only I received. On the contrary, a large majority of the
27  boys (especially the smaller ones) were visited with similar
28  instances of notice, as Mr. Creakle made the round of the
29  schoolroom. Half the establishment was writhing and crying, before
30  the day's work began; and how much of it had writhed and cried
31  before the day's work was over, I am really afraid to recollect,
32  lest I should seem to exaggerate.

33       I should think there never can have been a man who enjoyed his
34  profession more than Mr. Creakle did. He had a delight in cutting
35  at the boys, which was like the satisfaction of a craving appetite.
36  I am confident that he couldn't resist a chubby boy, especially;
37  that there was a fascination in such a subject, which made him
38  restless in his mind, until he had scored and marked him for the
39  day. I was chubby myself, and ought to know. I am sure when I
40  think of the fellow now, my blood rises against him with the
41  disinterested indignation I should feel if I could have known all
42  about him without having ever been in his power; but it rises
43  hotly, because I know him to have been an incapable brute, who had
44  no more right to be possessed of the great trust he held, than to
45  be Lord High Admiral, or Commander-in-Chief - in either of which
46  capacities it is probable that he would have done infinitely less
47  mischief.

48       Miserable little propitiators of a remorseless Idol, how abject we
49  were to him! What a launch in life I think it now, on looking
50  back, to be so mean and servile to a man of such parts and
51  pretensions!

52       Here I sit at the desk again, watching his eye - humbly watching
53  his eye, as he rules a ciphering-book for another victim whose
54  hands have just been flattened by that identical ruler, and who is
55  trying to wipe the sting out with a pocket-handkerchief. I have
56  plenty to do. I don't watch his eye in idleness, but because I am
57  morbidly attracted to it, in a dread desire to know what he will do
58  next, and whether it will be my turn to suffer, or somebody else's.
59  A lane of small boys beyond me, with the same interest in his eye,
60  watch it too. I think he knows it, though he pretends he don't.
61  He makes dreadful mouths as he rules the ciphering-book; and now he
62  throws his eye sideways down our lane, and we all droop over our
63  books and tremble. A moment afterwards we are again eyeing him.
64  An unhappy culprit, found guilty of imperfect exercise, approaches
65  at his command. The culprit falters excuses, and professes a
66  determination to do better tomorrow. Mr. Creakle cuts a joke
67  before he beats him, and we laugh at it, - miserable little dogs,
68  we laugh, with our visages as white as ashes, and our hearts
69  sinking into our boots.

70       Here I sit at the desk again, on a drowsy summer afternoon. A buzz
71  and hum go up around me, as if the boys were so many bluebottles.
72  A cloggy sensation of the lukewarm fat of meat is upon me (we dined
73  an hour or two ago), and my head is as heavy as so much lead. I
74  would give the world to go to sleep. I sit with my eye on Mr.
75  Creakle, blinking at him like a young owl; when sleep overpowers me
76  for a minute, he still looms through my slumber, ruling those
77  ciphering-books, until he softly comes behind me and wakes me to
78  plainer perception of him, with a red ridge across my back.

79       Here I am in the playground, with my eye still fascinated by him,
80  though I can't see him. The window at a little distance from which
81  I know he is having his dinner, stands for him, and I eye that
82  instead. If he shows his face near it, mine assumes an imploring
83  and submissive expression. If he looks out through the glass, the
84  boldest boy (Steerforth excepted) stops in the middle of a shout or
85  yell, and becomes contemplative. One day, Traddles (the most
86  unfortunate boy in the world) breaks that window accidentally, with
87  a ball. I shudder at this moment with the tremendous sensation of
88  seeing it done, and feeling that the ball has bounded on to Mr.
89  Creakle's sacred head.

90       Poor Traddles! In a tight sky-blue suit that made his arms and
91  legs like German sausages, or roly-poly puddings, he was the
92  merriest and most miserable of all the boys. He was always being
93  caned - I think he was caned every day that half-year, except one
94  holiday Monday when he was only ruler'd on both hands - and was
95  always going to write to his uncle about it, and never did. After
96  laying his head on the desk for a little while, he would cheer up,
97  somehow, begin to laugh again, and draw skeletons all over his
98  slate, before his eyes were dry. I used at first to wonder what
99  comfort Traddles found in drawing skeletons; and for some time
100  looked upon him as a sort of hermit, who reminded himself by those
101  symbols of mortality that caning couldn't last for ever. But I
102  believe he only did it because they were easy, and didn't want any
103  features.

104       He was very honourable, Traddles was, and held it as a solemn duty
105  in the boys to stand by one another. He suffered for this on
106  several occasions; and particularly once, when Steerforth laughed
107  in church, and the Beadle thought it was Traddles, and took him
108  out. I see him now, going away in custody, despised by the
109  congregation. He never said who was the real offender, though he
110  smarted for it next day, and was imprisoned so many hours that he
111  came forth with a whole churchyard-full of skeletons swarming all
112  over his Latin Dictionary. But he had his reward. Steerforth said
113  there was nothing of the sneak in Traddles, and we all felt that to
114  be the highest praise. For my part, I could have gone through a
115  good deal (though I was much less brave than Traddles, and nothing
116  like so old) to have won such a recompense.

117       To see Steerforth walk to church before us, arm-in-arm with Miss
118  Creakle, was one of the great sights of my life. I didn't think
119  Miss Creakle equal to little Em'ly in point of beauty, and I didn't
120  love her (I didn't dare); but I thought her a young lady of
121  extraordinary attractions, and in point of gentility not to be
122  surpassed. When Steerforth, in white trousers, carried her parasol
123  for her, I felt proud to know him; and believed that she could not
124  choose but adore him with all her heart. Mr. Sharp and Mr. Mell
125  were both notable personages in my eyes; but Steerforth was to them
126  what the sun was to two stars.

127       Steerforth continued his protection of me, and proved a very useful
128  friend; since nobody dared to annoy one whom he honoured with his
129  countenance. He couldn't - or at all events he didn't - defend me
130  from Mr. Creakle, who was very severe with me; but whenever I had
131  been treated worse than usual, he always told me that I wanted a
132  little of his pluck, and that he wouldn't have stood it himself;
133  which I felt he intended for encouragement, and considered to be
134  very kind of him. There was one advantage, and only one that I
135  know of, in Mr. Creakle's severity. He found my placard in his way
136  when he came up or down behind the form on which I sat, and wanted
137  to make a cut at me in passing; for this reason it was soon taken
138  off, and I saw it no more.

139       An accidental circumstance cemented the intimacy between Steerforth
140  and me, in a manner that inspired me with great pride and
141  satisfaction, though it sometimes led to inconvenience. It
142  happened on one occasion, when he was doing me the honour of
143  talking to me in the playground, that I hazarded the observation
144  that something or somebody - I forget what now - was like something
145  or somebody in Peregrine Pickle. He said nothing at the time; but
146  when I was going to bed at night, asked me if I had got that book?

147       I told him no, and explained how it was that I had read it, and all
148  those other books of which I have made mention.

149       'And do you recollect them?' Steerforth said.

150       'Oh yes,' I replied; I had a good memory, and I believed I
151  recollected them very well.

152       'Then I tell you what, young Copperfield,' said Steerforth, 'you
153  shall tell 'em to me. I can't get to sleep very early at night,
154  and I generally wake rather early in the morning. We'll go over
155  'em one after another. We'll make some regular Arabian Nights of
156  it.'

157       I felt extremely flattered by this arrangement, and we commenced
158  carrying it into execution that very evening. What ravages I
159  committed on my favourite authors in the course of my
160  interpretation of them, I am not in a condition to say, and should
161  be very unwilling to know; but I had a profound faith in them, and
162  I had, to the best of my belief, a simple, earnest manner of
163  narrating what I did narrate; and these qualities went a long way.

164       The drawback was, that I was often sleepy at night, or out of
165  spirits and indisposed to resume the story; and then it was rather
166  hard work, and it must be done; for to disappoint or to displease
167  Steerforth was of course out of the question. In the morning, too,
168  when I felt weary, and should have enjoyed another hour's repose
169  very much, it was a tiresome thing to be roused, like the Sultana
170  Scheherazade, and forced into a long story before the getting-up
171  bell rang; but Steerforth was resolute; and as he explained to me,
172  in return, my sums and exercises, and anything in my tasks that was
173  too hard for me, I was no loser by the transaction. Let me do
174  myself justice, however. I was moved by no interested or selfish
175  motive, nor was I moved by fear of him. I admired and loved him,
176  and his approval was return enough. It was so precious to me that
177  I look back on these trifles, now, with an aching heart.

178       Steerforth was considerate, too; and showed his consideration, in
179  one particular instance, in an unflinching manner that was a little
180  tantalizing, I suspect, to poor Traddles and the rest. Peggotty's
181  promised letter - what a comfortable letter it was! - arrived
182  before 'the half' was many weeks old; and with it a cake in a
183  perfect nest of oranges, and two bottles of cowslip wine. This
184  treasure, as in duty bound, I laid at the feet of Steerforth, and
185  begged him to dispense.

186       'Now, I'll tell you what, young Copperfield,' said he: 'the wine
187  shall be kept to wet your whistle when you are story-telling.'

188       I blushed at the idea, and begged him, in my modesty, not to think
189  of it. But he said he had observed I was sometimes hoarse - a
190  little roopy was his exact expression - and it should be, every
191  drop, devoted to the purpose he had mentioned. Accordingly, it was
192  locked up in his box, and drawn off by himself in a phial, and
193  administered to me through a piece of quill in the cork, when I was
194  supposed to be in want of a restorative. Sometimes, to make it a
195  more sovereign specific, he was so kind as to squeeze orange juice
196  into it, or to stir it up with ginger, or dissolve a peppermint
197  drop in it; and although I cannot assert that the flavour was
198  improved by these experiments, or that it was exactly the compound
199  one would have chosen for a stomachic, the last thing at night and
200  the first thing in the morning, I drank it gratefully and was very
201  sensible of his attention.

202       We seem, to me, to have been months over Peregrine, and months more
203  over the other stories. The institution never flagged for want of
204  a story, I am certain; and the wine lasted out almost as well as
205  the matter. Poor Traddles - I never think of that boy but with a
206  strange disposition to laugh, and with tears in my eyes - was a
207  sort of chorus, in general; and affected to be convulsed with mirth
208  at the comic parts, and to be overcome with fear when there was any
209  passage of an alarming character in the narrative. This rather put
210  me out, very often. It was a great jest of his, I recollect, to
211  pretend that he couldn't keep his teeth from chattering, whenever
212  mention was made of an Alguazill in connexion with the adventures
213  of Gil Blas; and I remember that when Gil Blas met the captain of
214  the robbers in Madrid, this unlucky joker counterfeited such an
215  ague of terror, that he was overheard by Mr. Creakle, who was
216  prowling about the passage, and handsomely flogged for disorderly
217  conduct in the bedroom.
218  Whatever I had within me that was romantic and dreamy, was
219  encouraged by so much story-telling in the dark; and in that
220  respect the pursuit may not have been very profitable to me. But
221  the being cherished as a kind of plaything in my room, and the
222  consciousness that this accomplishment of mine was bruited about
223  among the boys, and attracted a good deal of notice to me though I
224  was the youngest there, stimulated me to exertion. In a school
225  carried on by sheer cruelty, whether it is presided over by a dunce
226  or not, there is not likely to be much learnt. I believe our boys
227  were, generally, as ignorant a set as any schoolboys in existence;
228  they were too much troubled and knocked about to learn; they could
229  no more do that to advantage, than any one can do anything to
230  advantage in a life of constant misfortune, torment, and worry.
231  But my little vanity, and Steerforth's help, urged me on somehow;
232  and without saving me from much, if anything, in the way of
233  punishment, made me, for the time I was there, an exception to the
234  general body, insomuch that I did steadily pick up some crumbs of
235  knowledge.

236       In this I was much assisted by Mr. Mell, who had a liking for me
237  that I am grateful to remember. It always gave me pain to observe
238  that Steerforth treated him with systematic disparagement, and
239  seldom lost an occasion of wounding his feelings, or inducing
240  others to do so. This troubled me the more for a long time,
241  because I had soon told Steerforth, from whom I could no more keep
242  such a secret, than I could keep a cake or any other tangible
243  possession, about the two old women Mr. Mell had taken me to see;
244  and I was always afraid that Steerforth would let it out, and twit
245  him with it.

246       We little thought, any one of us, I dare say, when I ate my
247  breakfast that first morning, and went to sleep under the shadow of
248  the peacock's feathers to the sound of the flute, what consequences
249  would come of the introduction into those alms-houses of my
250  insignificant person. But the visit had its unforeseen
251  consequences; and of a serious sort, too, in their way.

252       One day when Mr. Creakle kept the house from indisposition, which
253  naturally diffused a lively joy through the school, there was a
254  good deal of noise in the course of the morning's work. The great
255  relief and satisfaction experienced by the boys made them difficult
256  to manage; and though the dreaded Tungay brought his wooden leg in
257  twice or thrice, and took notes of the principal offenders' names,
258  no great impression was made by it, as they were pretty sure of
259  getting into trouble tomorrow, do what they would, and thought it
260  wise, no doubt, to enjoy themselves today.

261       It was, properly, a half-holiday; being Saturday. But as the noise
262  in the playground would have disturbed Mr. Creakle, and the weather
263  was not favourable for going out walking, we were ordered into
264  school in the afternoon, and set some lighter tasks than usual,
265  which were made for the occasion. It was the day of the week on
266  which Mr. Sharp went out to get his wig curled; so Mr. Mell, who
267  always did the drudgery, whatever it was, kept school by himself.
268  If I could associate the idea of a bull or a bear with anyone so
269  mild as Mr. Mell, I should think of him, in connexion with that
270  afternoon when the uproar was at its height, as of one of those
271  animals, baited by a thousand dogs. I recall him bending his
272  aching head, supported on his bony hand, over the book on his desk,
273  and wretchedly endeavouring to get on with his tiresome work,
274  amidst an uproar that might have made the Speaker of the House of
275  Commons giddy. Boys started in and out of their places, playing at
276  puss in the corner with other boys; there were laughing boys,
277  singing boys, talking boys, dancing boys, howling boys; boys
278  shuffled with their feet, boys whirled about him, grinning, making
279  faces, mimicking him behind his back and before his eyes; mimicking
280  his poverty, his boots, his coat, his mother, everything belonging
281  to him that they should have had consideration for.

282       'Silence!' cried Mr. Mell, suddenly rising up, and striking his
283  desk with the book. 'What does this mean! It's impossible to bear
284  it. It's maddening. How can you do it to me, boys?'

285       It was my book that he struck his desk with; and as I stood beside
286  him, following his eye as it glanced round the room, I saw the boys
287  all stop, some suddenly surprised, some half afraid, and some sorry
288  perhaps.

289       Steerforth's place was at the bottom of the school, at the opposite
290  end of the long room. He was lounging with his back against the
291  wall, and his hands in his pockets, and looked at Mr. Mell with his
292  mouth shut up as if he were whistling, when Mr. Mell looked at him.

293       'Silence, Mr. Steerforth!' said Mr. Mell.

294       'Silence yourself,' said Steerforth, turning red. 'Whom are you
295  talking to?'

296       'Sit down,' said Mr. Mell.

297       'Sit down yourself,' said Steerforth, 'and mind your business.'

298       There was a titter, and some applause; but Mr. Mell was so white,
299  that silence immediately succeeded; and one boy, who had darted out
300  behind him to imitate his mother again, changed his mind, and
301  pretended to want a pen mended.

302       'If you think, Steerforth,' said Mr. Mell, 'that I am not
303  acquainted with the power you can establish over any mind here' -
304  he laid his hand, without considering what he did (as I supposed),
305  upon my head - 'or that I have not observed you, within a few
306  minutes, urging your juniors on to every sort of outrage against
307  me, you are mistaken.'

308       'I don't give myself the trouble of thinking at all about you,'
309  said Steerforth, coolly; 'so I'm not mistaken, as it happens.'

310       'And when you make use of your position of favouritism here, sir,'
311  pursued Mr. Mell, with his lip trembling very much, 'to insult a
312  gentleman -'

313       'A what? - where is he?' said Steerforth.

314       Here somebody cried out, 'Shame, J. Steerforth! Too bad!' It was
315  Traddles; whom Mr. Mell instantly discomfited by bidding him hold
316  his tongue.

317       - 'To insult one who is not fortunate in life, sir, and who never
318  gave you the least offence, and the many reasons for not insulting
319  whom you are old enough and wise enough to understand,' said Mr.
320  Mell, with his lips trembling more and more, 'you commit a mean and
321  base action. You can sit down or stand up as you please, sir.
322  Copperfield, go on.'

323       'Young Copperfield,' said Steerforth, coming forward up the room,
324  'stop a bit. I tell you what, Mr. Mell, once for all. When you
325  take the liberty of calling me mean or base, or anything of that
326  sort, you are an impudent beggar. You are always a beggar, you
327  know; but when you do that, you are an impudent beggar.'

328       I am not clear whether he was going to strike Mr. Mell, or Mr. Mell
329  was going to strike him, or there was any such intention on either
330  side. I saw a rigidity come upon the whole school as if they had
331  been turned into stone, and found Mr. Creakle in the midst of us,
332  with Tungay at his side, and Mrs. and Miss Creakle looking in at
333  the door as if they were frightened. Mr. Mell, with his elbows on
334  his desk and his face in his hands, sat, for some moments, quite
335  still.

336       'Mr. Mell,' said Mr. Creakle, shaking him by the arm; and his
337  whisper was so audible now, that Tungay felt it unnecessary to
338  repeat his words; 'you have not forgotten yourself, I hope?'

339       'No, sir, no,' returned the Master, showing his face, and shaking
340  his head, and rubbing his hands in great agitation. 'No, sir. No.
341  I have remembered myself, I - no, Mr. Creakle, I have not forgotten
342  myself, I - I have remembered myself, sir. I - I - could wish you
343  had remembered me a little sooner, Mr. Creakle. It - it - would
344  have been more kind, sir, more just, sir. It would have saved me
345  something, sir.'

346       Mr. Creakle, looking hard at Mr. Mell, put his hand on Tungay's
347  shoulder, and got his feet upon the form close by, and sat upon the
348  desk. After still looking hard at Mr. Mell from his throne, as he
349  shook his head, and rubbed his hands, and remained in the same
350  state of agitation, Mr. Creakle turned to Steerforth, and said:

351       'Now, sir, as he don't condescend to tell me, what is this?'

352       Steerforth evaded the question for a little while; looking in scorn
353  and anger on his opponent, and remaining silent. I could not help
354  thinking even in that interval, I remember, what a noble fellow he
355  was in appearance, and how homely and plain Mr. Mell looked opposed
356  to him.

357       'What did he mean by talking about favourites, then?' said
358  Steerforth at length.

359       'Favourites?' repeated Mr. Creakle, with the veins in his forehead
360  swelling quickly. 'Who talked about favourites?'

361       'He did,' said Steerforth.

362       'And pray, what did you mean by that, sir?' demanded Mr. Creakle,
363  turning angrily on his assistant.

364       'I meant, Mr. Creakle,' he returned in a low voice, 'as I said;
365  that no pupil had a right to avail himself of his position of
366  favouritism to degrade me.'

367       'To degrade YOU?' said Mr. Creakle. 'My stars! But give me leave
368  to ask you, Mr. What's-your-name'; and here Mr. Creakle folded his
369  arms, cane and all, upon his chest, and made such a knot of his
370  brows that his little eyes were hardly visible below them;
371  'whether, when you talk about favourites, you showed proper respect
372  to me? To me, sir,' said Mr. Creakle, darting his head at him
373  suddenly, and drawing it back again, 'the principal of this
374  establishment, and your employer.'

375       'It was not judicious, sir, I am willing to admit,' said Mr. Mell.
376  'I should not have done so, if I had been cool.'

377       Here Steerforth struck in.

378       'Then he said I was mean, and then he said I was base, and then I
379  called him a beggar. If I had been cool, perhaps I shouldn't have
380  called him a beggar. But I did, and I am ready to take the
381  consequences of it.'

382       Without considering, perhaps, whether there were any consequences
383  to be taken, I felt quite in a glow at this gallant speech. It
384  made an impression on the boys too, for there was a low stir among
385  them, though no one spoke a word.

386       'I am surprised, Steerforth - although your candour does you
387  honour,' said Mr. Creakle, 'does you honour, certainly - I am
388  surprised, Steerforth, I must say, that you should attach such an
389  epithet to any person employed and paid in Salem House, sir.'

390       Steerforth gave a short laugh.

391       'That's not an answer, sir,' said Mr. Creakle, 'to my remark. I
392  expect more than that from you, Steerforth.'

393       If Mr. Mell looked homely, in my eyes, before the handsome boy, it
394  would be quite impossible to say how homely Mr. Creakle looked.
395  'Let him deny it,' said Steerforth.

396       'Deny that he is a beggar, Steerforth?' cried Mr. Creakle. 'Why,
397  where does he go a-begging?'

398       'If he is not a beggar himself, his near relation's one,' said
399  Steerforth. 'It's all the same.'

400       He glanced at me, and Mr. Mell's hand gently patted me upon the
401  shoulder. I looked up with a flush upon my face and remorse in my
402  heart, but Mr. Mell's eyes were fixed on Steerforth. He continued
403  to pat me kindly on the shoulder, but he looked at him.

404       'Since you expect me, Mr. Creakle, to justify myself,' said
405  Steerforth, 'and to say what I mean, - what I have to say is, that
406  his mother lives on charity in an alms-house.'

407       Mr. Mell still looked at him, and still patted me kindly on the
408  shoulder, and said to himself, in a whisper, if I heard right:
409  'Yes, I thought so.'

410       Mr. Creakle turned to his assistant, with a severe frown and
411  laboured politeness:

412       'Now, you hear what this gentleman says, Mr. Mell. Have the
413  goodness, if you please, to set him right before the assembled
414  school.'

415       'He is right, sir, without correction,' returned Mr. Mell, in the
416  midst of a dead silence; 'what he has said is true.'

417       'Be so good then as declare publicly, will you,' said Mr. Creakle,
418  putting his head on one side, and rolling his eyes round the
419  school, 'whether it ever came to my knowledge until this moment?'

420       'I believe not directly,' he returned.

421       'Why, you know not,' said Mr. Creakle. 'Don't you, man?'

422       'I apprehend you never supposed my worldly circumstances to be very
423  good,' replied the assistant. 'You know what my position is, and
424  always has been, here.'

425       'I apprehend, if you come to that,' said Mr. Creakle, with his
426  veins swelling again bigger than ever, 'that you've been in a wrong
427  position altogether, and mistook this for a charity school. Mr.
428  Mell, we'll part, if you please. The sooner the better.'

429       'There is no time,' answered Mr. Mell, rising, 'like the present.'

430       'Sir, to you!' said Mr. Creakle.

431       'I take my leave of you, Mr. Creakle, and all of you,' said Mr.
432  Mell, glancing round the room, and again patting me gently on the
433  shoulders. 'James Steerforth, the best wish I can leave you is
434  that you may come to be ashamed of what you have done today. At
435  present I would prefer to see you anything rather than a friend, to
436  me, or to anyone in whom I feel an interest.'

437       Once more he laid his hand upon my shoulder; and then taking his
438  flute and a few books from his desk, and leaving the key in it for
439  his successor, he went out of the school, with his property under
440  his arm. Mr. Creakle then made a speech, through Tungay, in which
441  he thanked Steerforth for asserting (though perhaps too warmly) the
442  independence and respectability of Salem House; and which he wound
443  up by shaking hands with Steerforth, while we gave three cheers -
444  I did not quite know what for, but I supposed for Steerforth, and
445  so joined in them ardently, though I felt miserable. Mr. Creakle
446  then caned Tommy Traddles for being discovered in tears, instead of
447  cheers, on account of Mr. Mell's departure; and went back to his
448  sofa, or his bed, or wherever he had come from.

449       We were left to ourselves now, and looked very blank, I recollect,
450  on one another. For myself, I felt so much self-reproach and
451  contrition for my part in what had happened, that nothing would
452  have enabled me to keep back my tears but the fear that Steerforth,
453  who often looked at me, I saw, might think it unfriendly - or, I
454  should rather say, considering our relative ages, and the feeling
455  with which I regarded him, undutiful - if I showed the emotion
456  which distressed me. He was very angry with Traddles, and said he
457  was glad he had caught it.

458       Poor Traddles, who had passed the stage of lying with his head upon
459  the desk, and was relieving himself as usual with a burst of
460  skeletons, said he didn't care. Mr. Mell was ill-used.

461       'Who has ill-used him, you girl?' said Steerforth.

462       'Why, you have,' returned Traddles.

463       'What have I done?' said Steerforth.

464       'What have you done?' retorted Traddles. 'Hurt his feelings, and
465  lost him his situation.'

466       'His feelings?' repeated Steerforth disdainfully. 'His feelings
467  will soon get the better of it, I'll be bound. His feelings are
468  not like yours, Miss Traddles. As to his situation - which was a
469  precious one, wasn't it? - do you suppose I am not going to write
470  home, and take care that he gets some money? Polly?'

471       We thought this intention very noble in Steerforth, whose mother
472  was a widow, and rich, and would do almost anything, it was said,
473  that he asked her. We were all extremely glad to see Traddles so
474  put down, and exalted Steerforth to the skies: especially when he
475  told us, as he condescended to do, that what he had done had been
476  done expressly for us, and for our cause; and that he had conferred
477  a great boon upon us by unselfishly doing it.
478  But I must say that when I was going on with a story in the dark
479  that night, Mr. Mell's old flute seemed more than once to sound
480  mournfully in my ears; and that when at last Steerforth was tired,
481  and I lay down in my bed, I fancied it playing so sorrowfully
482  somewhere, that I was quite wretched.

483       I soon forgot him in the contemplation of Steerforth, who, in an
484  easy amateur way, and without any book (he seemed to me to know
485  everything by heart), took some of his classes until a new master
486  was found. The new master came from a grammar school; and before
487  he entered on his duties, dined in the parlour one day, to be
488  introduced to Steerforth. Steerforth approved of him highly, and
489  told us he was a Brick. Without exactly understanding what learned
490  distinction was meant by this, I respected him greatly for it, and
491  had no doubt whatever of his superior knowledge: though he never
492  took the pains with me - not that I was anybody - that Mr. Mell had
493  taken.

494       There was only one other event in this half-year, out of the daily
495  school-life, that made an impression upon me which still survives.
496  It survives for many reasons.

497       One afternoon, when we were all harassed into a state of dire
498  confusion, and Mr. Creakle was laying about him dreadfully, Tungay
499  came in, and called out in his usual strong way: 'Visitors for
500  Copperfield!'

501       A few words were interchanged between him and Mr. Creakle, as, who
502  the visitors were, and what room they were to be shown into; and
503  then I, who had, according to custom, stood up on the announcement
504  being made, and felt quite faint with astonishment, was told to go
505  by the back stairs and get a clean frill on, before I repaired to
506  the dining-room. These orders I obeyed, in such a flutter and
507  hurry of my young spirits as I had never known before; and when I
508  got to the parlour door, and the thought came into my head that it
509  might be my mother - I had only thought of Mr. or Miss Murdstone
510  until then - I drew back my hand from the lock, and stopped to have
511  a sob before I went in.

512       At first I saw nobody; but feeling a pressure against the door, I
513  looked round it, and there, to my amazement, were Mr. Peggotty and
514  Ham, ducking at me with their hats, and squeezing one another
515  against the wall. I could not help laughing; but it was much more
516  in the pleasure of seeing them, than at the appearance they made.
517  We shook hands in a very cordial way; and I laughed and laughed,
518  until I pulled out my pocket-handkerchief and wiped my eyes.

519       Mr. Peggotty (who never shut his mouth once, I remember, during the
520  visit) showed great concern when he saw me do this, and nudged Ham
521  to say something.

522       'Cheer up, Mas'r Davy bor'!' said Ham, in his simpering way. 'Why,
523  how you have growed!'

524       'Am I grown?' I said, drying my eyes. I was not crying at anything
525  in particular that I know of; but somehow it made me cry, to see
526  old friends.

527       'Growed, Mas'r Davy bor'? Ain't he growed!' said Ham.

528       'Ain't he growed!' said Mr. Peggotty.

529       They made me laugh again by laughing at each other, and then we all
530  three laughed until I was in danger of crying again.

531       'Do you know how mama is, Mr. Peggotty?' I said. 'And how my dear,
532  dear, old Peggotty is?'

533       'Oncommon,' said Mr. Peggotty.

534       'And little Em'ly, and Mrs. Gummidge?'

535       'On - common,' said Mr. Peggotty.

536       There was a silence. Mr. Peggotty, to relieve it, took two
537  prodigious lobsters, and an enormous crab, and a large canvas bag
538  of shrimps, out of his pockets, and piled them up in Ham's arms.

539       'You see,' said Mr. Peggotty, 'knowing as you was partial to a
540  little relish with your wittles when you was along with us, we took
541  the liberty. The old Mawther biled 'em, she did. Mrs. Gummidge
542  biled 'em. Yes,' said Mr. Peggotty, slowly, who I thought appeared
543  to stick to the subject on account of having no other subject
544  ready, 'Mrs. Gummidge, I do assure you, she biled 'em.'

545       I expressed my thanks; and Mr. Peggotty, after looking at Ham, who
546  stood smiling sheepishly over the shellfish, without making any
547  attempt to help him, said:

548       'We come, you see, the wind and tide making in our favour, in one
549  of our Yarmouth lugs to Gravesen'. My sister she wrote to me the
550  name of this here place, and wrote to me as if ever I chanced to
551  come to Gravesen', I was to come over and inquire for Mas'r Davy
552  and give her dooty, humbly wishing him well and reporting of the
553  fam'ly as they was oncommon toe-be-sure. Little Em'ly, you see,
554  she'll write to my sister when I go back, as I see you and as you
555  was similarly oncommon, and so we make it quite a merry-
556  go-rounder.'

557       I was obliged to consider a little before I understood what Mr.
558  Peggotty meant by this figure, expressive of a complete circle of
559  intelligence. I then thanked him heartily; and said, with a
560  consciousness of reddening, that I supposed little Em'ly was
561  altered too, since we used to pick up shells and pebbles on the
562  beach?

563       'She's getting to be a woman, that's wot she's getting to be,' said
564  Mr. Peggotty. 'Ask HIM.'
565  He meant Ham, who beamed with delight and assent over the bag of
566  shrimps.

567       'Her pretty face!' said Mr. Peggotty, with his own shining like a
568  light.

569       'Her learning!' said Ham.

570       'Her writing!' said Mr. Peggotty. 'Why it's as black as jet! And
571  so large it is, you might see it anywheres.'

572       It was perfectly delightful to behold with what enthusiasm Mr.
573  Peggotty became inspired when he thought of his little favourite.
574  He stands before me again, his bluff hairy face irradiating with a
575  joyful love and pride, for which I can find no description. His
576  honest eyes fire up, and sparkle, as if their depths were stirred
577  by something bright. His broad chest heaves with pleasure. His
578  strong loose hands clench themselves, in his earnestness; and he
579  emphasizes what he says with a right arm that shows, in my pigmy
580  view, like a sledge-hammer.

581       Ham was quite as earnest as he. I dare say they would have said
582  much more about her, if they had not been abashed by the unexpected
583  coming in of Steerforth, who, seeing me in a corner speaking with
584  two strangers, stopped in a song he was singing, and said: 'I
585  didn't know you were here, young Copperfield!' (for it was not the
586  usual visiting room) and crossed by us on his way out.

587       I am not sure whether it was in the pride of having such a friend
588  as Steerforth, or in the desire to explain to him how I came to
589  have such a friend as Mr. Peggotty, that I called to him as he was
590  going away. But I said, modestly - Good Heaven, how it all comes
591  back to me this long time afterwards! -

592       'Don't go, Steerforth, if you please. These are two Yarmouth
593  boatmen - very kind, good people - who are relations of my nurse,
594  and have come from Gravesend to see me.'

595       'Aye, aye?' said Steerforth, returning. 'I am glad to see them.
596  How are you both?'

597       There was an ease in his manner - a gay and light manner it was,
598  but not swaggering - which I still believe to have borne a kind of
599  enchantment with it. I still believe him, in virtue of this
600  carriage, his animal spirits, his delightful voice, his handsome
601  face and figure, and, for aught I know, of some inborn power of
602  attraction besides (which I think a few people possess), to have
603  carried a spell with him to which it was a natural weakness to
604  yield, and which not many persons could withstand. I could not but
605  see how pleased they were with him, and how they seemed to open
606  their hearts to him in a moment.

607       'You must let them know at home, if you please, Mr. Peggotty,' I
608  said, 'when that letter is sent, that Mr. Steerforth is very kind
609  to me, and that I don't know what I should ever do here without
610  him.'

611       'Nonsense!' said Steerforth, laughing. 'You mustn't tell them
612  anything of the sort.'

613       'And if Mr. Steerforth ever comes into Norfolk or Suffolk, Mr.
614  Peggotty,' I said, 'while I am there, you may depend upon it I
615  shall bring him to Yarmouth, if he will let me, to see your house.
616  You never saw such a good house, Steerforth. It's made out of a
617  boat!'

618       'Made out of a boat, is it?' said Steerforth. 'It's the right sort
619  of a house for such a thorough-built boatman.'

620       'So 'tis, sir, so 'tis, sir,' said Ham, grinning. 'You're right,
621  young gen'l'm'n! Mas'r Davy bor', gen'l'm'n's right. A thorough-
622  built boatman! Hor, hor! That's what he is, too!'

623       Mr. Peggotty was no less pleased than his nephew, though his
624  modesty forbade him to claim a personal compliment so vociferously.

625       'Well, sir,' he said, bowing and chuckling, and tucking in the ends
626  of his neckerchief at his breast: 'I thankee, sir, I thankee! I do
627  my endeavours in my line of life, sir.'

628       'The best of men can do no more, Mr. Peggotty,' said Steerforth.
629  He had got his name already.

630       'I'll pound it, it's wot you do yourself, sir,' said Mr. Peggotty,
631  shaking his head, 'and wot you do well - right well! I thankee,
632  sir. I'm obleeged to you, sir, for your welcoming manner of me.
633  I'm rough, sir, but I'm ready - least ways, I hope I'm ready, you
634  unnerstand. My house ain't much for to see, sir, but it's hearty
635  at your service if ever you should come along with Mas'r Davy to
636  see it. I'm a reg'lar Dodman, I am,' said Mr. Peggotty, by which
637  he meant snail, and this was in allusion to his being slow to go,
638  for he had attempted to go after every sentence, and had somehow or
639  other come back again; 'but I wish you both well, and I wish you
640  happy!'

641       Ham echoed this sentiment, and we parted with them in the heartiest
642  manner. I was almost tempted that evening to tell Steerforth about
643  pretty little Em'ly, but I was too timid of mentioning her name,
644  and too much afraid of his laughing at me. I remember that I
645  thought a good deal, and in an uneasy sort of way, about Mr.
646  Peggotty having said that she was getting on to be a woman; but I
647  decided that was nonsense.

648       We transported the shellfish, or the 'relish' as Mr. Peggotty had
649  modestly called it, up into our room unobserved, and made a great
650  supper that evening. But Traddles couldn't get happily out of it.
651  He was too unfortunate even to come through a supper like anybody
652  else. He was taken ill in the night - quite prostrate he was - in
653  consequence of Crab; and after being drugged with black draughts
654  and blue pills, to an extent which Demple (whose father was a
655  doctor) said was enough to undermine a horse's constitution,
656  received a caning and six chapters of Greek Testament for refusing
657  to confess.

658       The rest of the half-year is a jumble in my recollection of the
659  daily strife and struggle of our lives; of the waning summer and
660  the changing season; of the frosty mornings when we were rung out
661  of bed, and the cold, cold smell of the dark nights when we were
662  rung into bed again; of the evening schoolroom dimly lighted and
663  indifferently warmed, and the morning schoolroom which was nothing
664  but a great shivering-machine; of the alternation of boiled beef
665  with roast beef, and boiled mutton with roast mutton; of clods of
666  bread-and-butter, dog's-eared lesson-books, cracked slates,
667  tear-blotted copy-books, canings, rulerings, hair-cuttings, rainy
668  Sundays, suet-puddings, and a dirty atmosphere of ink, surrounding
669  all.

670       I well remember though, how the distant idea of the holidays, after
671  seeming for an immense time to be a stationary speck, began to come
672  towards us, and to grow and grow. How from counting months, we
673  came to weeks, and then to days; and how I then began to be afraid
674  that I should not be sent for and when I learnt from Steerforth
675  that I had been sent for, and was certainly to go home, had dim
676  forebodings that I might break my leg first. How the breaking-up
677  day changed its place fast, at last, from the week after next to
678  next week, this week, the day after tomorrow, tomorrow, today,
679  tonight - when I was inside the Yarmouth mail, and going home.

680       I had many a broken sleep inside the Yarmouth mail, and many an
681  incoherent dream of all these things. But when I awoke at
682  intervals, the ground outside the window was not the playground of
683  Salem House, and the sound in my ears was not the sound of Mr.
684  Creakle giving it to Traddles, but the sound of the coachman
685  touching up the horses.

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