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| 1 | When the time Mr. Micawber had appointed so mysteriously, was
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| 2 | within four-and-twenty hours of being come, my aunt and I consulted
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| 3 | how we should proceed; for my aunt was very unwilling to leave
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| 4 | Dora. Ah! how easily I carried Dora up and down stairs, now!
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| 5 | We were disposed, notwithstanding Mr. Micawber's stipulation for my
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| 6 | aunt's attendance, to arrange that she should stay at home, and be
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| 7 | represented by Mr. Dick and me. In short, we had resolved to take
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| 8 | this course, when Dora again unsettled us by declaring that she
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| 9 | never would forgive herself, and never would forgive her bad boy,
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| 10 | if my aunt remained behind, on any pretence.
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| 11 | 'I won't speak to you,' said Dora, shaking her curls at my aunt.
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| 12 | 'I'll be disagreeable! I'll make Jip bark at you all day. I shall
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| 13 | be sure that you really are a cross old thing, if you don't go!'
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| 14 | 'Tut, Blossom!' laughed my aunt. 'You know you can't do without
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| 15 | me!'
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| 16 | 'Yes, I can,' said Dora. 'You are no use to me at all. You never
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| 17 | run up and down stairs for me, all day long. You never sit and
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| 18 | tell me stories about Doady, when his shoes were worn out, and he
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| 19 | was covered with dust - oh, what a poor little mite of a fellow!
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| 20 | You never do anything at all to please me, do you, dear?' Dora made
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| 21 | haste to kiss my aunt, and say, 'Yes, you do! I'm only joking!'-
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| 22 | lest my aunt should think she really meant it.
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| 23 | 'But, aunt,' said Dora, coaxingly, 'now listen. You must go. I
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| 24 | shall tease you, 'till you let me have my own way about it. I
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| 25 | shall lead my naughty boy such a life, if he don't make you go. I
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| 26 | shall make myself so disagreeable - and so will Jip! You'll wish
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| 27 | you had gone, like a good thing, for ever and ever so long, if you
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| 28 | don't go. Besides,' said Dora, putting back her hair, and looking
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| 29 | wonderingly at my aunt and me, 'why shouldn't you both go? I am
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| 30 | not very ill indeed. Am I?'
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| 31 | 'Why, what a question!' cried my aunt.
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| 32 | 'What a fancy!' said I.
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| 33 | 'Yes! I know I am a silly little thing!' said Dora, slowly looking
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| 34 | from one of us to the other, and then putting up her pretty lips to
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| 35 | kiss us as she lay upon her couch. 'Well, then, you must both go,
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| 36 | or I shall not believe you; and then I shall cry!'
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| 37 | I saw, in my aunt's face, that she began to give way now, and Dora
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| 38 | brightened again, as she saw it too.
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| 39 | 'You'll come back with so much to tell me, that it'll take at least
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| 40 | a week to make me understand!' said Dora. 'Because I know I shan't
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| 41 | understand, for a length of time, if there's any business in it.
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| 42 | And there's sure to be some business in it! If there's anything to
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| 43 | add up, besides, I don't know when I shall make it out; and my bad
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| 44 | boy will look so miserable all the time. There! Now you'll go,
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| 45 | won't you? You'll only be gone one night, and Jip will take care
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| 46 | of me while you are gone. Doady will carry me upstairs before you
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| 47 | go, and I won't come down again till you come back; and you shall
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| 48 | take Agnes a dreadfully scolding letter from me, because she has
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| 49 | never been to see us!'
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| 50 | We agreed, without any more consultation, that we would both go,
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| 51 | and that Dora was a little Impostor, who feigned to be rather
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| 52 | unwell, because she liked to be petted. She was greatly pleased,
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| 53 | and very merry; and we four, that is to say, my aunt, Mr. Dick,
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| 54 | Traddles, and I, went down to Canterbury by the Dover mail that
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| 55 | night.
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| 56 | At the hotel where Mr. Micawber had requested us to await him,
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| 57 | which we got into, with some trouble, in the middle of the night,
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| 58 | I found a letter, importing that he would appear in the morning
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| 59 | punctually at half past nine. After which, we went shivering, at
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| 60 | that uncomfortable hour, to our respective beds, through various
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| 61 | close passages; which smelt as if they had been steeped, for ages,
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| 62 | in a solution of soup and stables.
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| 63 | Early in the morning, I sauntered through the dear old tranquil
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| 64 | streets, and again mingled with the shadows of the venerable
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| 65 | gateways and churches. The rooks were sailing about the cathedral
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| 66 | towers; and the towers themselves, overlooking many a long
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| 67 | unaltered mile of the rich country and its pleasant streams, were
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| 68 | cutting the bright morning air, as if there were no such thing as
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| 69 | change on earth. Yet the bells, when they sounded, told me
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| 70 | sorrowfully of change in everything; told me of their own age, and
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| 71 | my pretty Dora's youth; and of the many, never old, who had lived
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| 72 | and loved and died, while the reverberations of the bells had
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| 73 | hummed through the rusty armour of the Black Prince hanging up
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| 74 | within, and, motes upon the deep of Time, had lost themselves in
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| 75 | air, as circles do in water.
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| 76 | I looked at the old house from the corner of the street, but did
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| 77 | not go nearer to it, lest, being observed, I might unwittingly do
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| 78 | any harm to the design I had come to aid. The early sun was
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| 79 | striking edgewise on its gables and lattice-windows, touching them
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| 80 | with gold; and some beams of its old peace seemed to touch my
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| 81 | heart.
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| 82 | I strolled into the country for an hour or so, and then returned by
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| 83 | the main street, which in the interval had shaken off its last
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| 84 | night's sleep. Among those who were stirring in the shops, I saw
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| 85 | my ancient enemy the butcher, now advanced to top-boots and a baby,
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| 86 | and in business for himself. He was nursing the baby, and appeared
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| 87 | to be a benignant member of society.
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| 88 | We all became very anxious and impatient, when we sat down to
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| 89 | breakfast. As it approached nearer and nearer to half past nine
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| 90 | o'clock, our restless expectation of Mr. Micawber increased. At
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| 91 | last we made no more pretence of attending to the meal, which,
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| 92 | except with Mr. Dick, had been a mere form from the first; but my
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| 93 | aunt walked up and down the room, Traddles sat upon the sofa
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| 94 | affecting to read the paper with his eyes on the ceiling; and I
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| 95 | looked out of the window to give early notice of Mr. Micawber's
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| 96 | coming. Nor had I long to watch, for, at the first chime of the
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| 97 | half hour, he appeared in the street.
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| 98 | 'Here he is,' said I, 'and not in his legal attire!'
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| 99 | My aunt tied the strings of her bonnet (she had come down to
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| 100 | breakfast in it), and put on her shawl, as if she were ready for
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| 101 | anything that was resolute and uncompromising. Traddles buttoned
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| 102 | his coat with a determined air. Mr. Dick, disturbed by these
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| 103 | formidable appearances, but feeling it necessary to imitate them,
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| 104 | pulled his hat, with both hands, as firmly over his ears as he
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| 105 | possibly could; and instantly took it off again, to welcome Mr.
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| 106 | Micawber.
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| 107 | 'Gentlemen, and madam,' said Mr. Micawber, 'good morning! My dear
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| 108 | sir,' to Mr. Dick, who shook hands with him violently, 'you are
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| 109 | extremely good.'
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| 110 | 'Have you breakfasted?' said Mr. Dick. 'Have a chop!'
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| 111 | 'Not for the world, my good sir!' cried Mr. Micawber, stopping him
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| 112 | on his way to the bell; 'appetite and myself, Mr. Dixon, have long
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| 113 | been strangers.'
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| 114 | Mr. Dixon was so well pleased with his new name, and appeared to
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| 115 | think it so obliging in Mr. Micawber to confer it upon him, that he
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| 116 | shook hands with him again, and laughed rather childishly.
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| 117 | 'Dick,' said my aunt, 'attention!'
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| 118 | Mr. Dick recovered himself, with a blush.
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| 119 | 'Now, sir,' said my aunt to Mr. Micawber, as she put on her gloves,
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| 120 | 'we are ready for Mount Vesuvius, or anything else, as soon as YOU
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| 121 | please.'
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| 122 | 'Madam,' returned Mr. Micawber, 'I trust you will shortly witness
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| 123 | an eruption. Mr. Traddles, I have your permission, I believe, to
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| 124 | mention here that we have been in communication together?'
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| 125 | 'It is undoubtedly the fact, Copperfield,' said Traddles, to whom
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| 126 | I looked in surprise. 'Mr. Micawber has consulted me in reference
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| 127 | to what he has in contemplation; and I have advised him to the best
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| 128 | of my judgement.'
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| 129 | 'Unless I deceive myself, Mr. Traddles,' pursued Mr. Micawber,
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| 130 | 'what I contemplate is a disclosure of an important nature.'
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| 131 | 'Highly so,' said Traddles.
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| 132 | 'Perhaps, under such circumstances, madam and gentlemen,' said Mr.
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| 133 | Micawber, 'you will do me the favour to submit yourselves, for the
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| 134 | moment, to the direction of one who, however unworthy to be
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| 135 | regarded in any other light but as a Waif and Stray upon the shore
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| 136 | of human nature, is still your fellow-man, though crushed out of
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| 137 | his original form by individual errors, and the accumulative force
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| 138 | of a combination of circumstances?'
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| 139 | 'We have perfect confidence in you, Mr. Micawber,' said I, 'and
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| 140 | will do what you please.'
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| 141 | 'Mr. Copperfield,' returned Mr. Micawber, 'your confidence is not,
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| 142 | at the existing juncture, ill-bestowed. I would beg to be allowed
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| 143 | a start of five minutes by the clock; and then to receive the
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| 144 | present company, inquiring for Miss Wickfield, at the office of
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| 145 | Wickfield and Heep, whose Stipendiary I am.'
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| 146 | My aunt and I looked at Traddles, who nodded his approval.
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| 147 | 'I have no more,' observed Mr. Micawber, 'to say at present.'
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| 148 | With which, to my infinite surprise, he included us all in a
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| 149 | comprehensive bow, and disappeared; his manner being extremely
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| 150 | distant, and his face extremely pale.
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| 151 | Traddles only smiled, and shook his head (with his hair standing
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| 152 | upright on the top of it), when I looked to him for an explanation;
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| 153 | so I took out my watch, and, as a last resource, counted off the
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| 154 | five minutes. My aunt, with her own watch in her hand, did the
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| 155 | like. When the time was expired, Traddles gave her his arm; and we
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| 156 | all went out together to the old house, without saying one word on
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| 157 | the way.
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| 158 | We found Mr. Micawber at his desk, in the turret office on the
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| 159 | ground floor, either writing, or pretending to write, hard. The
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| 160 | large office-ruler was stuck into his waistcoat, and was not so
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| 161 | well concealed but that a foot or more of that instrument protruded
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| 162 | from his bosom, like a new kind of shirt-frill.
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| 163 | As it appeared to me that I was expected to speak, I said aloud:
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| 164 | 'How do you do, Mr. Micawber?'
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| 165 | 'Mr. Copperfield,' said Mr. Micawber, gravely, 'I hope I see you
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| 166 | well?'
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| 167 | 'Is Miss Wickfield at home?' said I.
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| 168 | 'Mr. Wickfield is unwell in bed, sir, of a rheumatic fever,' he
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| 169 | returned; 'but Miss Wickfield, I have no doubt, will be happy to
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| 170 | see old friends. Will you walk in, sir?'
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| 171 | He preceded us to the dining-room - the first room I had entered in
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| 172 | that house - and flinging open the door of Mr. Wickfield's former
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| 173 | office, said, in a sonorous voice:
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| 174 | 'Miss Trotwood, Mr. David Copperfield, Mr. Thomas Traddles, and Mr.
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| 175 | Dixon!'
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| 176 | I had not seen Uriah Heep since the time of the blow. Our visit
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| 177 | astonished him, evidently; not the less, I dare say, because it
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| 178 | astonished ourselves. He did not gather his eyebrows together, for
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| 179 | he had none worth mentioning; but he frowned to that degree that he
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| 180 | almost closed his small eyes, while the hurried raising of his
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| 181 | grisly hand to his chin betrayed some trepidation or surprise.
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| 182 | This was only when we were in the act of entering his room, and
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| 183 | when I caught a glance at him over my aunt's shoulder. A moment
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| 184 | afterwards, he was as fawning and as humble as ever.
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| 185 | 'Well, I am sure,' he said. 'This is indeed an unexpected
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| 186 | pleasure! To have, as I may say, all friends round St. Paul's at
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| 187 | once, is a treat unlooked for! Mr. Copperfield, I hope I see you
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| 188 | well, and - if I may umbly express myself so - friendly towards
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| 189 | them as is ever your friends, whether or not. Mrs. Copperfield,
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| 190 | sir, I hope she's getting on. We have been made quite uneasy by
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| 191 | the poor accounts we have had of her state, lately, I do assure
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| 192 | you.'
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| 193 | I felt ashamed to let him take my hand, but I did not know yet what
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| 194 | else to do.
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| 195 | 'Things are changed in this office, Miss Trotwood, since I was an
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| 196 | umble clerk, and held your pony; ain't they?' said Uriah, with his
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| 197 | sickliest smile. 'But I am not changed, Miss Trotwood.'
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| 198 | 'Well, sir,' returned my aunt, 'to tell you the truth, I think you
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| 199 | are pretty constant to the promise of your youth; if that's any
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| 200 | satisfaction to you.'
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| 201 | 'Thank you, Miss Trotwood,' said Uriah, writhing in his ungainly
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| 202 | manner, 'for your good opinion! Micawber, tell 'em to let Miss
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| 203 | Agnes know - and mother. Mother will be quite in a state, when she
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| 204 | sees the present company!' said Uriah, setting chairs.
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| 205 | 'You are not busy, Mr. Heep?' said Traddles, whose eye the cunning
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| 206 | red eye accidentally caught, as it at once scrutinized and evaded
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| 207 | us.
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| 208 | 'No, Mr. Traddles,' replied Uriah, resuming his official seat, and
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| 209 | squeezing his bony hands, laid palm to palm between his bony knees.
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| 210 | 'Not so much so as I could wish. But lawyers, sharks, and leeches,
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| 211 | are not easily satisfied, you know! Not but what myself and
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| 212 | Micawber have our hands pretty full, in general, on account of Mr.
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| 213 | Wickfield's being hardly fit for any occupation, sir. But it's a
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| 214 | pleasure as well as a duty, I am sure, to work for him. You've not
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| 215 | been intimate with Mr. Wickfield, I think, Mr. Traddles? I believe
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| 216 | I've only had the honour of seeing you once myself?'
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| 217 | 'No, I have not been intimate with Mr. Wickfield,' returned
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| 218 | Traddles; 'or I might perhaps have waited on you long ago, Mr.
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| 219 | Heep.'
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| 220 | There was something in the tone of this reply, which made Uriah
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| 221 | look at the speaker again, with a very sinister and suspicious
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| 222 | expression. But, seeing only Traddles, with his good-natured face,
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| 223 | simple manner, and hair on end, he dismissed it as he replied, with
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| 224 | a jerk of his whole body, but especially his throat:
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| 225 | 'I am sorry for that, Mr. Traddles. You would have admired him as
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| 226 | much as we all do. His little failings would only have endeared
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| 227 | him to you the more. But if you would like to hear my
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| 228 | fellow-partner eloquently spoken of, I should refer you to
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| 229 | Copperfield. The family is a subject he's very strong upon, if you
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| 230 | never heard him.'
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| 231 | I was prevented from disclaiming the compliment (if I should have
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| 232 | done so, in any case), by the entrance of Agnes, now ushered in by
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| 233 | Mr. Micawber. She was not quite so self-possessed as usual, I
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| 234 | thought; and had evidently undergone anxiety and fatigue. But her
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| 235 | earnest cordiality, and her quiet beauty, shone with the gentler
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| 236 | lustre for it.
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| 237 | I saw Uriah watch her while she greeted us; and he reminded me of
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| 238 | an ugly and rebellious genie watching a good spirit. In the
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| 239 | meanwhile, some slight sign passed between Mr. Micawber and
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| 240 | Traddles; and Traddles, unobserved except by me, went out.
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| 241 | 'Don't wait, Micawber,' said Uriah.
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| 242 | Mr. Micawber, with his hand upon the ruler in his breast, stood
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| 243 | erect before the door, most unmistakably contemplating one of his
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| 244 | fellow-men, and that man his employer.
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| 245 | 'What are you waiting for?' said Uriah. 'Micawber! did you hear me
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| 246 | tell you not to wait?'
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| 247 | 'Yes!' replied the immovable Mr. Micawber.
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| 248 | 'Then why DO you wait?' said Uriah.
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| 249 | 'Because I - in short, choose,' replied Mr. Micawber, with a burst.
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| 250 | Uriah's cheeks lost colour, and an unwholesome paleness, still
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| 251 | faintly tinged by his pervading red, overspread them. He looked at
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| 252 | Mr. Micawber attentively, with his whole face breathing short and
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| 253 | quick in every feature.
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| 254 | 'You are a dissipated fellow, as all the world knows,' he said,
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| 255 | with an effort at a smile, 'and I am afraid you'll oblige me to get
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| 256 | rid of you. Go along! I'll talk to you presently.'
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| 257 | 'If there is a scoundrel on this earth,' said Mr. Micawber,
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| 258 | suddenly breaking out again with the utmost vehemence, 'with whom
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| 259 | I have already talked too much, that scoundrel's name is - HEEP!'
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| 260 | Uriah fell back, as if he had been struck or stung. Looking slowly
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| 261 | round upon us with the darkest and wickedest expression that his
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| 262 | face could wear, he said, in a lower voice:
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| 263 | 'Oho! This is a conspiracy! You have met here by appointment! You
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| 264 | are playing Booty with my clerk, are you, Copperfield? Now, take
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| 265 | care. You'll make nothing of this. We understand each other, you
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| 266 | and me. There's no love between us. You were always a puppy with
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| 267 | a proud stomach, from your first coming here; and you envy me my
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| 268 | rise, do you? None of your plots against me; I'll counterplot you!
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| 269 | Micawber, you be off. I'll talk to you presently.'
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| 270 | 'Mr. Micawber,' said I, 'there is a sudden change in this fellow.
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| 271 | in more respects than the extraordinary one of his speaking the
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| 272 | truth in one particular, which assures me that he is brought to
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| 273 | bay. Deal with him as he deserves!'
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| 274 | 'You are a precious set of people, ain't you?' said Uriah, in the
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| 275 | same low voice, and breaking out into a clammy heat, which he wiped
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| 276 | from his forehead, with his long lean hand, 'to buy over my clerk,
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| 277 | who is the very scum of society, - as you yourself were,
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| 278 | Copperfield, you know it, before anyone had charity on you, - to
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| 279 | defame me with his lies? Miss Trotwood, you had better stop this;
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| 280 | or I'll stop your husband shorter than will be pleasant to you. I
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| 281 | won't know your story professionally, for nothing, old lady! Miss
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| 282 | Wickfield, if you have any love for your father, you had better not
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| 283 | join that gang. I'll ruin him, if you do. Now, come! I have got
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| 284 | some of you under the harrow. Think twice, before it goes over
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| 285 | you. Think twice, you, Micawber, if you don't want to be crushed.
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| 286 | I recommend you to take yourself off, and be talked to presently,
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| 287 | you fool! while there's time to retreat. Where's mother?' he said,
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| 288 | suddenly appearing to notice, with alarm, the absence of Traddles,
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| 289 | and pulling down the bell-rope. 'Fine doings in a person's own
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| 290 | house!'
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| 291 | 'Mrs. Heep is here, sir,' said Traddles, returning with that worthy
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| 292 | mother of a worthy son. 'I have taken the liberty of making myself
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| 293 | known to her.'
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| 294 | 'Who are you to make yourself known?' retorted Uriah. 'And what do
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| 295 | you want here?'
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| 296 | 'I am the agent and friend of Mr. Wickfield, sir,' said Traddles,
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| 297 | in a composed and business-like way. 'And I have a power of
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| 298 | attorney from him in my pocket, to act for him in all matters.'
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| 299 | 'The old ass has drunk himself into a state of dotage,' said Uriah,
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| 300 | turning uglier than before, 'and it has been got from him by
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| 301 | fraud!'
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| 302 | 'Something has been got from him by fraud, I know,' returned
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| 303 | Traddles quietly; 'and so do you, Mr. Heep. We will refer that
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| 304 | question, if you please, to Mr. Micawber.'
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| 305 | 'Ury -!' Mrs. Heep began, with an anxious gesture.
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| 306 | 'YOU hold your tongue, mother,' he returned; 'least said, soonest
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| 307 | mended.'
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| 308 | 'But, my Ury -'
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| 309 | 'Will you hold your tongue, mother, and leave it to me?'
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| 310 | Though I had long known that his servility was false, and all his
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| 311 | pretences knavish and hollow, I had had no adequate conception of
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| 312 | the extent of his hypocrisy, until I now saw him with his mask off.
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| 313 | The suddenness with which he dropped it, when he perceived that it
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| 314 | was useless to him; the malice, insolence, and hatred, he revealed;
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| 315 | the leer with which he exulted, even at this moment, in the evil he
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| 316 | had done - all this time being desperate too, and at his wits' end
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| 317 | for the means of getting the better of us - though perfectly
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| 318 | consistent with the experience I had of him, at first took even me
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| 319 | by surprise, who had known him so long, and disliked him so
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| 320 | heartily.
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| 321 | I say nothing of the look he conferred on me, as he stood eyeing
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| 322 | us, one after another; for I had always understood that he hated
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| 323 | me, and I remembered the marks of my hand upon his cheek. But when
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| 324 | his eyes passed on to Agnes, and I saw the rage with which he felt
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| 325 | his power over her slipping away, and the exhibition, in their
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| 326 | disappointment, of the odious passions that had led him to aspire
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| 327 | to one whose virtues he could never appreciate or care for, I was
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| 328 | shocked by the mere thought of her having lived, an hour, within
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| 329 | sight of such a man.
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| 330 | After some rubbing of the lower part of his face, and some looking
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| 331 | at us with those bad eyes, over his grisly fingers, he made one
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| 332 | more address to me, half whining, and half abusive.
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| 333 | 'You think it justifiable, do you, Copperfield, you who pride
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| 334 | yourself so much on your honour and all the rest of it, to sneak
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| 335 | about my place, eaves-dropping with my clerk? If it had been ME,
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| 336 | I shouldn't have wondered; for I don't make myself out a gentleman
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| 337 | (though I never was in the streets either, as you were, according
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| 338 | to Micawber), but being you! - And you're not afraid of doing this,
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| 339 | either? You don't think at all of what I shall do, in return; or
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| 340 | of getting yourself into trouble for conspiracy and so forth? Very
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| 341 | well. We shall see! Mr. What's-your-name, you were going to refer
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| 342 | some question to Micawber. There's your referee. Why don't you
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| 343 | make him speak? He has learnt his lesson, I see.'
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| 344 | Seeing that what he said had no effect on me or any of us, he sat
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| 345 | on the edge of his table with his hands in his pockets, and one of
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| 346 | his splay feet twisted round the other leg, waiting doggedly for
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| 347 | what might follow.
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| 348 | Mr. Micawber, whose impetuosity I had restrained thus far with the
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| 349 | greatest difficulty, and who had repeatedly interposed with the
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| 350 | first syllable Of SCOUN-drel! without getting to the second, now
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| 351 | burst forward, drew the ruler from his breast (apparently as a
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| 352 | defensive weapon), and produced from his pocket a foolscap
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| 353 | document, folded in the form of a large letter. Opening this
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| 354 | packet, with his old flourish, and glancing at the contents, as if
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| 355 | he cherished an artistic admiration of their style of composition,
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| 356 | he began to read as follows:
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| 357 | '"Dear Miss Trotwood and gentlemen -"'
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| 358 | 'Bless and save the man!' exclaimed my aunt in a low voice. 'He'd
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| 359 | write letters by the ream, if it was a capital offence!'
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| 360 | Mr. Micawber, without hearing her, went on.
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| 361 | '"In appearing before you to denounce probably the most consummate
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| 362 | Villain that has ever existed,"' Mr. Micawber, without looking off
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| 363 | the letter, pointed the ruler, like a ghostly truncheon, at Uriah
|
| 364 | Heep, '"I ask no consideration for myself. The victim, from my
|
| 365 | cradle, of pecuniary liabilities to which I have been unable to
|
| 366 | respond, I have ever been the sport and toy of debasing
|
| 367 | circumstances. Ignominy, Want, Despair, and Madness, have,
|
| 368 | collectively or separately, been the attendants of my career."'
|
| 369 | The relish with which Mr. Micawber described himself as a prey to
|
| 370 | these dismal calamities, was only to be equalled by the emphasis
|
| 371 | with which he read his letter; and the kind of homage he rendered
|
| 372 | to it with a roll of his head, when he thought he had hit a
|
| 373 | sentence very hard indeed.
|
| 374 | '"In an accumulation of Ignominy, Want, Despair, and Madness, I
|
| 375 | entered the office - or, as our lively neighbour the Gaul would
|
| 376 | term it, the Bureau - of the Firm, nominally conducted under the
|
| 377 | appellation of Wickfield and - HEEP, but in reality, wielded by -
|
| 378 | HEEP alone. HEEP, and only HEEP, is the mainspring of that
|
| 379 | machine. HEEP, and only HEEP, is the Forger and the Cheat."'
|
| 380 | Uriah, more blue than white at these words, made a dart at the
|
| 381 | letter, as if to tear it in pieces. Mr. Micawber, with a perfect
|
| 382 | miracle of dexterity or luck, caught his advancing knuckles with
|
| 383 | the ruler, and disabled his right hand. It dropped at the wrist,
|
| 384 | as if it were broken. The blow sounded as if it had fallen on
|
| 385 | wood.
|
| 386 | 'The Devil take you!' said Uriah, writhing in a new way with pain.
|
| 387 | 'I'll be even with you.'
|
| 388 | 'Approach me again, you - you - you HEEP of infamy,' gasped Mr.
|
| 389 | Micawber, 'and if your head is human, I'll break it. Come on, come
|
| 390 | on! '
|
| 391 | I think I never saw anything more ridiculous - I was sensible of
|
| 392 | it, even at the time - than Mr. Micawber making broad-sword guards
|
| 393 | with the ruler, and crying, 'Come on!' while Traddles and I pushed
|
| 394 | him back into a corner, from which, as often as we got him into it,
|
| 395 | he persisted in emerging again.
|
| 396 | His enemy, muttering to himself, after wringing his wounded hand
|
| 397 | for sometime, slowly drew off his neck-kerchief and bound it up;
|
| 398 | then held it in his other hand, and sat upon his table with his
|
| 399 | sullen face looking down.
|
| 400 | Mr. Micawber, when he was sufficiently cool, proceeded with his
|
| 401 | letter.
|
| 402 | '"The stipendiary emoluments in consideration of which I entered
|
| 403 | into the service of - HEEP,"' always pausing before that word and
|
| 404 | uttering it with astonishing vigour, '"were not defined, beyond the
|
| 405 | pittance of twenty-two shillings and six per week. The rest was
|
| 406 | left contingent on the value of my professional exertions; in other
|
| 407 | and more expressive words, on the baseness of my nature, the
|
| 408 | cupidity of my motives, the poverty of my family, the general moral
|
| 409 | (or rather immoral) resemblance between myself and - HEEP. Need I
|
| 410 | say, that it soon became necessary for me to solicit from - HEEP -
|
| 411 | pecuniary advances towards the support of Mrs. Micawber, and our
|
| 412 | blighted but rising family? Need I say that this necessity had
|
| 413 | been foreseen by - HEEP? That those advances were secured by
|
| 414 | I.O.U.'s and other similar acknowledgements, known to the legal
|
| 415 | institutions of this country? And that I thus became immeshed in
|
| 416 | the web he had spun for my reception?"'
|
| 417 | Mr. Micawber's enjoyment of his epistolary powers, in describing
|
| 418 | this unfortunate state of things, really seemed to outweigh any
|
| 419 | pain or anxiety that the reality could have caused him. He read
|
| 420 | on:
|
| 421 | '"Then it was that - HEEP - began to favour me with just so much of
|
| 422 | his confidence, as was necessary to the discharge of his infernal
|
| 423 | business. Then it was that I began, if I may so Shakespearianly
|
| 424 | express myself, to dwindle, peak, and pine. I found that my
|
| 425 | services were constantly called into requisition for the
|
| 426 | falsification of business, and the mystification of an individual
|
| 427 | whom I will designate as Mr. W. That Mr. W. was imposed upon, kept
|
| 428 | in ignorance, and deluded, in every possible way; yet, that all
|
| 429 | this while, the ruffian - HEEP - was professing unbounded gratitude
|
| 430 | to, and unbounded friendship for, that much-abused gentleman. This
|
| 431 | was bad enough; but, as the philosophic Dane observes, with that
|
| 432 | universal applicability which distinguishes the illustrious
|
| 433 | ornament of the Elizabethan Era, worse remains behind!"'
|
| 434 | Mr. Micawber was so very much struck by this happy rounding off
|
| 435 | with a quotation, that he indulged himself, and us, with a second
|
| 436 | reading of the sentence, under pretence of having lost his place.
|
| 437 | '"It is not my intention,"' he continued reading on, '"to enter on
|
| 438 | a detailed list, within the compass of the present epistle (though
|
| 439 | it is ready elsewhere), of the various malpractices of a minor
|
| 440 | nature, affecting the individual whom I have denominated Mr. W., to
|
| 441 | which I have been a tacitly consenting party. My object, when the
|
| 442 | contest within myself between stipend and no stipend, baker and no
|
| 443 | baker, existence and non-existence, ceased, was to take advantage
|
| 444 | of my opportunities to discover and expose the major malpractices
|
| 445 | committed, to that gentleman's grievous wrong and injury, by -
|
| 446 | HEEP. Stimulated by the silent monitor within, and by a no less
|
| 447 | touching and appealing monitor without - to whom I will briefly
|
| 448 | refer as Miss W. - I entered on a not unlaborious task of
|
| 449 | clandestine investigation, protracted - now, to the best of my
|
| 450 | knowledge, information, and belief, over a period exceeding twelve
|
| 451 | calendar months."'
|
| 452 | He read this passage as if it were from an Act of Parliament; and
|
| 453 | appeared majestically refreshed by the sound of the words.
|
| 454 | '"My charges against - HEEP,"' he read on, glancing at him, and
|
| 455 | drawing the ruler into a convenient position under his left arm, in
|
| 456 | case of need, '"are as follows."'
|
| 457 | We all held our breath, I think. I am sure Uriah held his.
|
| 458 | '"First,"' said Mr. Micawber, '"When Mr. W.'s faculties and memory
|
| 459 | for business became, through causes into which it is not necessary
|
| 460 | or expedient for me to enter, weakened and confused, - HEEP -
|
| 461 | designedly perplexed and complicated the whole of the official
|
| 462 | transactions. When Mr. W. was least fit to enter on business, -
|
| 463 | HEEP was always at hand to force him to enter on it. He obtained
|
| 464 | Mr. W.'s signature under such circumstances to documents of
|
| 465 | importance, representing them to be other documents of no
|
| 466 | importance. He induced Mr. W. to empower him to draw out, thus,
|
| 467 | one particular sum of trust-money, amounting to twelve six
|
| 468 | fourteen, two and nine, and employed it to meet pretended business
|
| 469 | charges and deficiencies which were either already provided for, or
|
| 470 | had never really existed. He gave this proceeding, throughout, the
|
| 471 | appearance of having originated in Mr. W.'s own dishonest
|
| 472 | intention, and of having been accomplished by Mr. W.'s own
|
| 473 | dishonest act; and has used it, ever since, to torture and
|
| 474 | constrain him."'
|
| 475 | 'You shall prove this, you Copperfield!' said Uriah, with a
|
| 476 | threatening shake of the head. 'All in good time!'
|
| 477 | 'Ask - HEEP - Mr. Traddles, who lived in his house after him,' said
|
| 478 | Mr. Micawber, breaking off from the letter; 'will you?'
|
| 479 | 'The fool himself- and lives there now,' said Uriah, disdainfully.
|
| 480 | 'Ask - HEEP - if he ever kept a pocket-book in that house,' said
|
| 481 | Mr. Micawber; 'will you?'
|
| 482 | I saw Uriah's lank hand stop, involuntarily, in the scraping of his
|
| 483 | chin.
|
| 484 | 'Or ask him,' said Mr. Micawber,'if he ever burnt one there. If he
|
| 485 | says yes, and asks you where the ashes are, refer him to Wilkins
|
| 486 | Micawber, and he will hear of something not at all to his
|
| 487 | advantage!'
|
| 488 | The triumphant flourish with which Mr. Micawber delivered himself
|
| 489 | of these words, had a powerful effect in alarming the mother; who
|
| 490 | cried out, in much agitation:
|
| 491 | 'Ury, Ury! Be umble, and make terms, my dear!'
|
| 492 | 'Mother!' he retorted, 'will you keep quiet? You're in a fright,
|
| 493 | and don't know what you say or mean. Umble!' he repeated, looking
|
| 494 | at me, with a snarl; 'I've umbled some of 'em for a pretty long
|
| 495 | time back, umble as I was!'
|
| 496 | Mr. Micawber, genteelly adjusting his chin in his cravat, presently
|
| 497 | proceeded with his composition.
|
| 498 | '"Second. HEEP has, on several occasions, to the best of my
|
| 499 | knowledge, information, and belief -"'
|
| 500 | 'But that won't do,' muttered Uriah, relieved. 'Mother, you keep
|
| 501 | quiet.'
|
| 502 | 'We will endeavour to provide something that WILL do, and do for
|
| 503 | you finally, sir, very shortly,' replied Mr. Micawber.
|
| 504 | '"Second. HEEP has, on several occasions, to the best of my
|
| 505 | knowledge, information, and belief, systematically forged, to
|
| 506 | various entries, books, and documents, the signature of Mr. W.; and
|
| 507 | has distinctly done so in one instance, capable of proof by me. To
|
| 508 | wit, in manner following, that is to say:"'
|
| 509 | Again, Mr. Micawber had a relish in this formal piling up of words,
|
| 510 | which, however ludicrously displayed in his case, was, I must say,
|
| 511 | not at all peculiar to him. I have observed it, in the course of
|
| 512 | my life, in numbers of men. It seems to me to be a general rule.
|
| 513 | In the taking of legal oaths, for instance, deponents seem to enjoy
|
| 514 | themselves mightily when they come to several good words in
|
| 515 | succession, for the expression of one idea; as, that they utterly
|
| 516 | detest, abominate, and abjure, or so forth; and the old anathemas
|
| 517 | were made relishing on the same principle. We talk about the
|
| 518 | tyranny of words, but we like to tyrannize over them too; we are
|
| 519 | fond of having a large superfluous establishment of words to wait
|
| 520 | upon us on great occasions; we think it looks important, and sounds
|
| 521 | well. As we are not particular about the meaning of our liveries
|
| 522 | on state occasions, if they be but fine and numerous enough, so,
|
| 523 | the meaning or necessity of our words is a secondary consideration,
|
| 524 | if there be but a great parade of them. And as individuals get
|
| 525 | into trouble by making too great a show of liveries, or as slaves
|
| 526 | when they are too numerous rise against their masters, so I think
|
| 527 | I could mention a nation that has got into many great difficulties,
|
| 528 | and will get into many greater, from maintaining too large a
|
| 529 | retinue of words.
|
| 530 | Mr. Micawber read on, almost smacking his lips:
|
| 531 | '"To wit, in manner following, that is to say. Mr. W. being
|
| 532 | infirm, and it being within the bounds of probability that his
|
| 533 | decease might lead to some discoveries, and to the downfall of -
|
| 534 | HEEP'S - power over the W. family, - as I, Wilkins Micawber, the
|
| 535 | undersigned, assume - unless the filial affection of his daughter
|
| 536 | could be secretly influenced from allowing any investigation of the
|
| 537 | partnership affairs to be ever made, the said - HEEP - deemed it
|
| 538 | expedient to have a bond ready by him, as from Mr. W., for the
|
| 539 | before-mentioned sum of twelve six fourteen, two and nine, with
|
| 540 | interest, stated therein to have been advanced by - HEEP - to Mr.
|
| 541 | W. to save Mr. W. from dishonour; though really the sum was never
|
| 542 | advanced by him, and has long been replaced. The signatures to
|
| 543 | this instrument purporting to be executed by Mr. W. and attested by
|
| 544 | Wilkins Micawber, are forgeries by - HEEP. I have, in my
|
| 545 | possession, in his hand and pocket-book, several similar imitations
|
| 546 | of Mr. W.'s signature, here and there defaced by fire, but legible
|
| 547 | to anyone. I never attested any such document. And I have the
|
| 548 | document itself, in my possession."'
|
| 549 | Uriah Heep, with a start, took out of his pocket a bunch of keys,
|
| 550 | and opened a certain drawer; then, suddenly bethought himself of
|
| 551 | what he was about, and turned again towards us, without looking in
|
| 552 | it.
|
| 553 | '"And I have the document,"' Mr. Micawber read again, looking about
|
| 554 | as if it were the text of a sermon, '"in my possession, - that is
|
| 555 | to say, I had, early this morning, when this was written, but have
|
| 556 | since relinquished it to Mr. Traddles."'
|
| 557 | 'It is quite true,' assented Traddles.
|
| 558 | 'Ury, Ury!' cried the mother, 'be umble and make terms. I know my
|
| 559 | son will be umble, gentlemen, if you'll give him time to think.
|
| 560 | Mr. Copperfield, I'm sure you know that he was always very umble,
|
| 561 | sir!'
|
| 562 | It was singular to see how the mother still held to the old trick,
|
| 563 | when the son had abandoned it as useless.
|
| 564 | 'Mother,' he said, with an impatient bite at the handkerchief in
|
| 565 | which his hand was wrapped, 'you had better take and fire a loaded
|
| 566 | gun at me.'
|
| 567 | 'But I love you, Ury,' cried Mrs. Heep. And I have no doubt she
|
| 568 | did; or that he loved her, however strange it may appear; though,
|
| 569 | to be sure, they were a congenial couple. 'And I can't bear to
|
| 570 | hear you provoking the gentlemen, and endangering of yourself more.
|
| 571 | I told the gentleman at first, when he told me upstairs it was come
|
| 572 | to light, that I would answer for your being umble, and making
|
| 573 | amends. Oh, see how umble I am, gentlemen, and don't mind him!'
|
| 574 | 'Why, there's Copperfield, mother,' he angrily retorted, pointing
|
| 575 | his lean finger at me, against whom all his animosity was levelled,
|
| 576 | as the prime mover in the discovery; and I did not undeceive him;
|
| 577 | 'there's Copperfield, would have given you a hundred pound to say
|
| 578 | less than you've blurted out!'
|
| 579 | 'I can't help it, Ury,' cried his mother. 'I can't see you running
|
| 580 | into danger, through carrying your head so high. Better be umble,
|
| 581 | as you always was.'
|
| 582 | He remained for a little, biting the handkerchief, and then said to
|
| 583 | me with a scowl:
|
| 584 | 'What more have you got to bring forward? If anything, go on with
|
| 585 | it. What do you look at me for?'
|
| 586 | Mr. Micawber promptly resumed his letter, glad to revert to a
|
| 587 | performance with which he was so highly satisfied.
|
| 588 | '"Third. And last. I am now in a condition to show, by - HEEP'S
|
| 589 | - false books, and - HEEP'S - real memoranda, beginning with the
|
| 590 | partially destroyed pocket-book (which I was unable to comprehend,
|
| 591 | at the time of its accidental discovery by Mrs. Micawber, on our
|
| 592 | taking possession of our present abode, in the locker or bin
|
| 593 | devoted to the reception of the ashes calcined on our domestic
|
| 594 | hearth), that the weaknesses, the faults, the very virtues, the
|
| 595 | parental affections, and the sense of honour, of the unhappy Mr. W.
|
| 596 | have been for years acted on by, and warped to the base purposes of
|
| 597 | - HEEP. That Mr. W. has been for years deluded and plundered, in
|
| 598 | every conceivable manner, to the pecuniary aggrandisement of the
|
| 599 | avaricious, false, and grasping - HEEP. That the engrossing object
|
| 600 | of- HEEP - was, next to gain, to subdue Mr. and Miss W. (of his
|
| 601 | ulterior views in reference to the latter I say nothing) entirely
|
| 602 | to himself. That his last act, completed but a few months since,
|
| 603 | was to induce Mr. W. to execute a relinquishment of his share in
|
| 604 | the partnership, and even a bill of sale on the very furniture of
|
| 605 | his house, in consideration of a certain annuity, to be well and
|
| 606 | truly paid by - HEEP - on the four common quarter-days in each and
|
| 607 | every year. That these meshes; beginning with alarming and
|
| 608 | falsified accounts of the estate of which Mr. W. is the receiver,
|
| 609 | at a period when Mr. W. had launched into imprudent and ill-judged
|
| 610 | speculations, and may not have had the money, for which he was
|
| 611 | morally and legally responsible, in hand; going on with pretended
|
| 612 | borrowings of money at enormous interest, really coming from - HEEP
|
| 613 | - and by - HEEP - fraudulently obtained or withheld from Mr. W.
|
| 614 | himself, on pretence of such speculations or otherwise; perpetuated
|
| 615 | by a miscellaneous catalogue of unscrupulous chicaneries -
|
| 616 | gradually thickened, until the unhappy Mr. W. could see no world
|
| 617 | beyond. Bankrupt, as he believed, alike in circumstances, in all
|
| 618 | other hope, and in honour, his sole reliance was upon the monster
|
| 619 | in the garb of man,"' - Mr. Micawber made a good deal of this, as
|
| 620 | a new turn of expression, - '"who, by making himself necessary to
|
| 621 | him, had achieved his destruction. All this I undertake to show.
|
| 622 | Probably much more!"'
|
| 623 | I whispered a few words to Agnes, who was weeping, half joyfully,
|
| 624 | half sorrowfully, at my side; and there was a movement among us, as
|
| 625 | if Mr. Micawber had finished. He said, with exceeding gravity,
|
| 626 | 'Pardon me,' and proceeded, with a mixture of the lowest spirits
|
| 627 | and the most intense enjoyment, to the peroration of his letter.
|
| 628 | '"I have now concluded. It merely remains for me to substantiate
|
| 629 | these accusations; and then, with my ill-starred family, to
|
| 630 | disappear from the landscape on which we appear to be an
|
| 631 | encumbrance. That is soon done. It may be reasonably inferred
|
| 632 | that our baby will first expire of inanition, as being the frailest
|
| 633 | member of our circle; and that our twins will follow next in order.
|
| 634 | So be it! For myself, my Canterbury Pilgrimage has done much;
|
| 635 | imprisonment on civil process, and want, will soon do more. I
|
| 636 | trust that the labour and hazard of an investigation - of which the
|
| 637 | smallest results have been slowly pieced together, in the pressure
|
| 638 | of arduous avocations, under grinding penurious apprehensions, at
|
| 639 | rise of morn, at dewy eve, in the shadows of night, under the
|
| 640 | watchful eye of one whom it were superfluous to call Demon -
|
| 641 | combined with the struggle of parental Poverty to turn it, when
|
| 642 | completed, to the right account, may be as the sprinkling of a few
|
| 643 | drops of sweet water on my funeral pyre. I ask no more. Let it
|
| 644 | be, in justice, merely said of me, as of a gallant and eminent
|
| 645 | naval Hero, with whom I have no pretensions to cope, that what I
|
| 646 | have done, I did, in despite of mercenary and selfish objects,
|
| 647 | For England, home, and Beauty.
|
| 648 | '"Remaining always, &c. &c., WILKINS MICAWBER."'
|
| 649 | Much affected, but still intensely enjoying himself, Mr. Micawber
|
| 650 | folded up his letter, and handed it with a bow to my aunt, as
|
| 651 | something she might like to keep.
|
| 652 | There was, as I had noticed on my first visit long ago, an iron
|
| 653 | safe in the room. The key was in it. A hasty suspicion seemed to
|
| 654 | strike Uriah; and, with a glance at Mr. Micawber, he went to it,
|
| 655 | and threw the doors clanking open. It was empty.
|
| 656 | 'Where are the books?' he cried, with a frightful face. 'Some
|
| 657 | thief has stolen the books!'
|
| 658 | Mr. Micawber tapped himself with the ruler. 'I did, when I got the
|
| 659 | key from you as usual - but a little earlier - and opened it this
|
| 660 | morning.'
|
| 661 | 'Don't be uneasy,' said Traddles. 'They have come into my
|
| 662 | possession. I will take care of them, under the authority I
|
| 663 | mentioned.'
|
| 664 | 'You receive stolen goods, do you?' cried Uriah.
|
| 665 | 'Under such circumstances,' answered Traddles, 'yes.'
|
| 666 | What was my astonishment when I beheld my aunt, who had been
|
| 667 | profoundly quiet and attentive, make a dart at Uriah Heep, and
|
| 668 | seize him by the collar with both hands!
|
| 669 | 'You know what I want?' said my aunt.
|
| 670 | 'A strait-waistcoat,' said he.
|
| 671 | 'No. My property!' returned my aunt. 'Agnes, my dear, as long as
|
| 672 | I believed it had been really made away with by your father, I
|
| 673 | wouldn't - and, my dear, I didn't, even to Trot, as he knows -
|
| 674 | breathe a syllable of its having been placed here for investment.
|
| 675 | But, now I know this fellow's answerable for it, and I'll have it!
|
| 676 | Trot, come and take it away from him!'
|
| 677 | Whether my aunt supposed, for the moment, that he kept her property
|
| 678 | in his neck-kerchief, I am sure I don't know; but she certainly
|
| 679 | pulled at it as if she thought so. I hastened to put myself
|
| 680 | between them, and to assure her that we would all take care that he
|
| 681 | should make the utmost restitution of everything he had wrongly
|
| 682 | got. This, and a few moments' reflection, pacified her; but she
|
| 683 | was not at all disconcerted by what she had done (though I cannot
|
| 684 | say as much for her bonnet) and resumed her seat composedly.
|
| 685 | During the last few minutes, Mrs. Heep had been clamouring to her
|
| 686 | son to be 'umble'; and had been going down on her knees to all of
|
| 687 | us in succession, and making the wildest promises. Her son sat her
|
| 688 | down in his chair; and, standing sulkily by her, holding her arm
|
| 689 | with his hand, but not rudely, said to me, with a ferocious look:
|
| 690 | 'What do you want done?'
|
| 691 | 'I will tell you what must be done,' said Traddles.
|
| 692 | 'Has that Copperfield no tongue?' muttered Uriah, 'I would do a
|
| 693 | good deal for you if you could tell me, without lying, that
|
| 694 | somebody had cut it out.'
|
| 695 | 'My Uriah means to be umble!' cried his mother. 'Don't mind what
|
| 696 | he says, good gentlemen!'
|
| 697 | 'What must be done,' said Traddles, 'is this. First, the deed of
|
| 698 | relinquishment, that we have heard of, must be given over to me now
|
| 699 | - here.'
|
| 700 | 'Suppose I haven't got it,' he interrupted.
|
| 701 | 'But you have,' said Traddles; 'therefore, you know, we won't
|
| 702 | suppose so.' And I cannot help avowing that this was the first
|
| 703 | occasion on which I really did justice to the clear head, and the
|
| 704 | plain, patient, practical good sense, of my old schoolfellow.
|
| 705 | 'Then,' said Traddles, 'you must prepare to disgorge all that your
|
| 706 | rapacity has become possessed of, and to make restoration to the
|
| 707 | last farthing. All the partnership books and papers must remain in
|
| 708 | our possession; all your books and papers; all money accounts and
|
| 709 | securities, of both kinds. In short, everything here.'
|
| 710 | 'Must it? I don't know that,' said Uriah. 'I must have time to
|
| 711 | think about that.'
|
| 712 | 'Certainly,' replied Traddles; 'but, in the meanwhile, and until
|
| 713 | everything is done to our satisfaction, we shall maintain
|
| 714 | possession of these things; and beg you - in short, compel you - to
|
| 715 | keep to your own room, and hold no communication with anyone.'
|
| 716 | 'I won't do it!' said Uriah, with an oath.
|
| 717 | 'Maidstone jail is a safer place of detention,' observed Traddles;
|
| 718 | 'and though the law may be longer in righting us, and may not be
|
| 719 | able to right us so completely as you can, there is no doubt of its
|
| 720 | punishing YOU. Dear me, you know that quite as well as I!
|
| 721 | Copperfield, will you go round to the Guildhall, and bring a couple
|
| 722 | of officers?'
|
| 723 | Here, Mrs. Heep broke out again, crying on her knees to Agnes to
|
| 724 | interfere in their behalf, exclaiming that he was very humble, and
|
| 725 | it was all true, and if he didn't do what we wanted, she would, and
|
| 726 | much more to the same purpose; being half frantic with fears for
|
| 727 | her darling. To inquire what he might have done, if he had had any
|
| 728 | boldness, would be like inquiring what a mongrel cur might do, if
|
| 729 | it had the spirit of a tiger. He was a coward, from head to foot;
|
| 730 | and showed his dastardly nature through his sullenness and
|
| 731 | mortification, as much as at any time of his mean life.
|
| 732 | 'Stop!' he growled to me; and wiped his hot face with his hand.
|
| 733 | 'Mother, hold your noise. Well! Let 'em have that deed. Go and
|
| 734 | fetch it!'
|
| 735 | 'Do you help her, Mr. Dick,' said Traddles, 'if you please.'
|
| 736 | Proud of his commission, and understanding it, Mr. Dick accompanied
|
| 737 | her as a shepherd's dog might accompany a sheep. But, Mrs. Heep
|
| 738 | gave him little trouble; for she not only returned with the deed,
|
| 739 | but with the box in which it was, where we found a banker's book
|
| 740 | and some other papers that were afterwards serviceable.
|
| 741 | 'Good!' said Traddles, when this was brought. 'Now, Mr. Heep, you
|
| 742 | can retire to think: particularly observing, if you please, that I
|
| 743 | declare to you, on the part of all present, that there is only one
|
| 744 | thing to be done; that it is what I have explained; and that it
|
| 745 | must be done without delay.'
|
| 746 | Uriah, without lifting his eyes from the ground, shuffled across
|
| 747 | the room with his hand to his chin, and pausing at the door, said:
|
| 748 | 'Copperfield, I have always hated you. You've always been an
|
| 749 | upstart, and you've always been against me.'
|
| 750 | 'As I think I told you once before,' said I, 'it is you who have
|
| 751 | been, in your greed and cunning, against all the world. It may be
|
| 752 | profitable to you to reflect, in future, that there never were
|
| 753 | greed and cunning in the world yet, that did not do too much, and
|
| 754 | overreach themselves. It is as certain as death.'
|
| 755 | 'Or as certain as they used to teach at school (the same school
|
| 756 | where I picked up so much umbleness), from nine o'clock to eleven,
|
| 757 | that labour was a curse; and from eleven o'clock to one, that it
|
| 758 | was a blessing and a cheerfulness, and a dignity, and I don't know
|
| 759 | what all, eh?' said he with a sneer. 'You preach, about as
|
| 760 | consistent as they did. Won't umbleness go down? I shouldn't have
|
| 761 | got round my gentleman fellow-partner without it, I think. -
|
| 762 | Micawber, you old bully, I'll pay YOU!'
|
| 763 | Mr. Micawber, supremely defiant of him and his extended finger, and
|
| 764 | making a great deal of his chest until he had slunk out at the
|
| 765 | door, then addressed himself to me, and proffered me the
|
| 766 | satisfaction of 'witnessing the re-establishment of mutual
|
| 767 | confidence between himself and Mrs. Micawber'. After which, he
|
| 768 | invited the company generally to the contemplation of that
|
| 769 | affecting spectacle.
|
| 770 | 'The veil that has long been interposed between Mrs. Micawber and
|
| 771 | myself, is now withdrawn,' said Mr. Micawber; 'and my children and
|
| 772 | the Author of their Being can once more come in contact on equal
|
| 773 | terms.'
|
| 774 | As we were all very grateful to him, and all desirous to show that
|
| 775 | we were, as well as the hurry and disorder of our spirits would
|
| 776 | permit, I dare say we should all have gone, but that it was
|
| 777 | necessary for Agnes to return to her father, as yet unable to bear
|
| 778 | more than the dawn of hope; and for someone else to hold Uriah in
|
| 779 | safe keeping. So, Traddles remained for the latter purpose, to be
|
| 780 | presently relieved by Mr. Dick; and Mr. Dick, my aunt, and I, went
|
| 781 | home with Mr. Micawber. As I parted hurriedly from the dear girl
|
| 782 | to whom I owed so much, and thought from what she had been saved,
|
| 783 | perhaps, that morning - her better resolution notwithstanding - I
|
| 784 | felt devoutly thankful for the miseries of my younger days which
|
| 785 | had brought me to the knowledge of Mr. Micawber.
|
| 786 | His house was not far off; and as the street door opened into the
|
| 787 | sitting-room, and he bolted in with a precipitation quite his own,
|
| 788 | we found ourselves at once in the bosom of the family. Mr.
|
| 789 | Micawber exclaiming, 'Emma! my life!' rushed into Mrs. Micawber's
|
| 790 | arms. Mrs. Micawber shrieked, and folded Mr. Micawber in her
|
| 791 | embrace. Miss Micawber, nursing the unconscious stranger of Mrs.
|
| 792 | Micawber's last letter to me, was sensibly affected. The stranger
|
| 793 | leaped. The twins testified their joy by several inconvenient but
|
| 794 | innocent demonstrations. Master Micawber, whose disposition
|
| 795 | appeared to have been soured by early disappointment, and whose
|
| 796 | aspect had become morose, yielded to his better feelings, and
|
| 797 | blubbered.
|
| 798 | 'Emma!' said Mr. Micawber. 'The cloud is past from my mind.
|
| 799 | Mutual confidence, so long preserved between us once, is restored,
|
| 800 | to know no further interruption. Now, welcome poverty!' cried Mr.
|
| 801 | Micawber, shedding tears. 'Welcome misery, welcome houselessness,
|
| 802 | welcome hunger, rags, tempest, and beggary! Mutual confidence will
|
| 803 | sustain us to the end!'
|
| 804 | With these expressions, Mr. Micawber placed Mrs. Micawber in a
|
| 805 | chair, and embraced the family all round; welcoming a variety of
|
| 806 | bleak prospects, which appeared, to the best of my judgement, to be
|
| 807 | anything but welcome to them; and calling upon them to come out
|
| 808 | into Canterbury and sing a chorus, as nothing else was left for
|
| 809 | their support.
|
| 810 | But Mrs. Micawber having, in the strength of her emotions, fainted
|
| 811 | away, the first thing to be done, even before the chorus could be
|
| 812 | considered complete, was to recover her. This my aunt and Mr.
|
| 813 | Micawber did; and then my aunt was introduced, and Mrs. Micawber
|
| 814 | recognized me.
|
| 815 | 'Excuse me, dear Mr. Copperfield,' said the poor lady, giving me
|
| 816 | her hand, 'but I am not strong; and the removal of the late
|
| 817 | misunderstanding between Mr. Micawber and myself was at first too
|
| 818 | much for me.'
|
| 819 | 'Is this all your family, ma'am?' said my aunt.
|
| 820 | 'There are no more at present,' returned Mrs. Micawber.
|
| 821 | 'Good gracious, I didn't mean that, ma'am,' said my aunt. 'I mean,
|
| 822 | are all these yours?'
|
| 823 | 'Madam,' replied Mr. Micawber, 'it is a true bill.'
|
| 824 | 'And that eldest young gentleman, now,' said my aunt, musing, 'what
|
| 825 | has he been brought up to?'
|
| 826 | 'It was my hope when I came here,' said Mr. Micawber, 'to have got
|
| 827 | Wilkins into the Church: or perhaps I shall express my meaning more
|
| 828 | strictly, if I say the Choir. But there was no vacancy for a tenor
|
| 829 | in the venerable Pile for which this city is so justly eminent; and
|
| 830 | he has - in short, he has contracted a habit of singing in
|
| 831 | public-houses, rather than in sacred edifices.'
|
| 832 | 'But he means well,' said Mrs. Micawber, tenderly.
|
| 833 | 'I dare say, my love,' rejoined Mr. Micawber, 'that he means
|
| 834 | particularly well; but I have not yet found that he carries out his
|
| 835 | meaning, in any given direction whatsoever.'
|
| 836 | Master Micawber's moroseness of aspect returned upon him again, and
|
| 837 | he demanded, with some temper, what he was to do? Whether he had
|
| 838 | been born a carpenter, or a coach-painter, any more than he had
|
| 839 | been born a bird? Whether he could go into the next street, and
|
| 840 | open a chemist's shop? Whether he could rush to the next assizes,
|
| 841 | and proclaim himself a lawyer? Whether he could come out by force
|
| 842 | at the opera, and succeed by violence? Whether he could do
|
| 843 | anything, without being brought up to something?
|
| 844 | My aunt mused a little while, and then said:
|
| 845 | 'Mr. Micawber, I wonder you have never turned your thoughts to
|
| 846 | emigration.'
|
| 847 | 'Madam,' returned Mr. Micawber, 'it was the dream of my youth, and
|
| 848 | the fallacious aspiration of my riper years.' I am thoroughly
|
| 849 | persuaded, by the by, that he had never thought of it in his life.
|
| 850 | 'Aye?' said my aunt, with a glance at me. 'Why, what a thing it
|
| 851 | would be for yourselves and your family, Mr. and Mrs. Micawber, if
|
| 852 | you were to emigrate now.'
|
| 853 | 'Capital, madam, capital,' urged Mr. Micawber, gloomily.
|
| 854 | 'That is the principal, I may say the only difficulty, my dear Mr.
|
| 855 | Copperfield,' assented his wife.
|
| 856 | 'Capital?' cried my aunt. 'But you are doing us a great service -
|
| 857 | have done us a great service, I may say, for surely much will come
|
| 858 | out of the fire - and what could we do for you, that would be half
|
| 859 | so good as to find the capital?'
|
| 860 | 'I could not receive it as a gift,' said Mr. Micawber, full of fire
|
| 861 | and animation, 'but if a sufficient sum could be advanced, say at
|
| 862 | five per cent interest, per annum, upon my personal liability - say
|
| 863 | my notes of hand, at twelve, eighteen, and twenty-four months,
|
| 864 | respectively, to allow time for something to turn up -'
|
| 865 | 'Could be? Can be and shall be, on your own terms,' returned my
|
| 866 | aunt, 'if you say the word. Think of this now, both of you. Here
|
| 867 | are some people David knows, going out to Australia shortly. If
|
| 868 | you decide to go, why shouldn't you go in the same ship? You may
|
| 869 | help each other. Think of this now, Mr. and Mrs. Micawber. Take
|
| 870 | your time, and weigh it well.'
|
| 871 | 'There is but one question, my dear ma'am, I could wish to ask,'
|
| 872 | said Mrs. Micawber. 'The climate, I believe, is healthy?'
|
| 873 | 'Finest in the world!' said my aunt.
|
| 874 | 'Just so,' returned Mrs. Micawber. 'Then my question arises. Now,
|
| 875 | are the circumstances of the country such, that a man of Mr.
|
| 876 | Micawber's abilities would have a fair chance of rising in the
|
| 877 | social scale? I will not say, at present, might he aspire to be
|
| 878 | Governor, or anything of that sort; but would there be a reasonable
|
| 879 | opening for his talents to develop themselves - that would be amply
|
| 880 | sufficient - and find their own expansion?'
|
| 881 | 'No better opening anywhere,' said my aunt, 'for a man who conducts
|
| 882 | himself well, and is industrious.'
|
| 883 | 'For a man who conducts himself well,' repeated Mrs. Micawber, with
|
| 884 | her clearest business manner, 'and is industrious. Precisely. It
|
| 885 | is evident to me that Australia is the legitimate sphere of action
|
| 886 | for Mr. Micawber!'
|
| 887 | 'I entertain the conviction, my dear madam,' said Mr. Micawber,
|
| 888 | 'that it is, under existing circumstances, the land, the only land,
|
| 889 | for myself and family; and that something of an extraordinary
|
| 890 | nature will turn up on that shore. It is no distance -
|
| 891 | comparatively speaking; and though consideration is due to the
|
| 892 | kindness of your proposal, I assure you that is a mere matter of
|
| 893 | form.'
|
| 894 | Shall I ever forget how, in a moment, he was the most sanguine of
|
| 895 | men, looking on to fortune; or how Mrs. Micawber presently
|
| 896 | discoursed about the habits of the kangaroo! Shall I ever recall
|
| 897 | that street of Canterbury on a market-day, without recalling him,
|
| 898 | as he walked back with us; expressing, in the hardy roving manner
|
| 899 | he assumed, the unsettled habits of a temporary sojourner in the
|
| 900 | land; and looking at the bullocks, as they came by, with the eye of
|
| 901 | an Australian farmer!
|