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| 1 | I received one morning by the post, the following letter, dated
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| 2 | Canterbury, and addressed to me at Doctor's Commons; which I read
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| 3 | with some surprise:
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| 4 | 'MY DEAR SIR,
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| 5 | 'Circumstances beyond my individual control have, for a
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| 6 | considerable lapse of time, effected a severance of that intimacy
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| 7 | which, in the limited opportunities conceded to me in the midst of
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| 8 | my professional duties, of contemplating the scenes and events of
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| 9 | the past, tinged by the prismatic hues of memory, has ever afforded
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| 10 | me, as it ever must continue to afford, gratifying emotions of no
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| 11 | common description. This fact, my dear sir, combined with the
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| 12 | distinguished elevation to which your talents have raised you,
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| 13 | deters me from presuming to aspire to the liberty of addressing the
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| 14 | companion of my youth, by the familiar appellation of Copperfield!
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| 15 | It is sufficient to know that the name to which I do myself the
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| 16 | honour to refer, will ever be treasured among the muniments of our
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| 17 | house (I allude to the archives connected with our former lodgers,
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| 18 | preserved by Mrs. Micawber), with sentiments of personal esteem
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| 19 | amounting to affection.
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| 20 | 'It is not for one, situated, through his original errors and a
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| 21 | fortuitous combination of unpropitious events, as is the foundered
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| 22 | Bark (if he may be allowed to assume so maritime a denomination),
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| 23 | who now takes up the pen to address you - it is not, I repeat, for
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| 24 | one so circumstanced, to adopt the language of compliment, or of
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| 25 | congratulation. That he leaves to abler and to purer hands.
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| 26 | 'If your more important avocations should admit of your ever
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| 27 | tracing these imperfect characters thus far - which may be, or may
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| 28 | not be, as circumstances arise - you will naturally inquire by what
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| 29 | object am I influenced, then, in inditing the present missive?
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| 30 | Allow me to say that I fully defer to the reasonable character of
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| 31 | that inquiry, and proceed to develop it; premising that it is not
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| 32 | an object of a pecuniary nature.
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| 33 | 'Without more directly referring to any latent ability that may
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| 34 | possibly exist on my part, of wielding the thunderbolt, or
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| 35 | directing the devouring and avenging flame in any quarter, I may be
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| 36 | permitted to observe, in passing, that my brightest visions are for
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| 37 | ever dispelled - that my peace is shattered and my power of
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| 38 | enjoyment destroyed - that my heart is no longer in the right place
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| 39 | - and that I no more walk erect before my fellow man. The canker
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| 40 | is in the flower. The cup is bitter to the brim. The worm is at
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| 41 | his work, and will soon dispose of his victim. The sooner the
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| 42 | better. But I will not digress.
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| 43 | 'Placed in a mental position of peculiar painfulness, beyond the
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| 44 | assuaging reach even of Mrs. Micawber's influence, though exercised
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| 45 | in the tripartite character of woman, wife, and mother, it is my
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| 46 | intention to fly from myself for a short period, and devote a
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| 47 | respite of eight-and-forty hours to revisiting some metropolitan
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| 48 | scenes of past enjoyment. Among other havens of domestic
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| 49 | tranquillity and peace of mind, my feet will naturally tend towards
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| 50 | the King's Bench Prison. In stating that I shall be (D. V.) on the
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| 51 | outside of the south wall of that place of incarceration on civil
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| 52 | process, the day after tomorrow, at seven in the evening,
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| 53 | precisely, my object in this epistolary communication is
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| 54 | accomplished.
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| 55 | 'I do not feel warranted in soliciting my former friend Mr.
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| 56 | Copperfield, or my former friend Mr. Thomas Traddles of the Inner
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| 57 | Temple, if that gentleman is still existent and forthcoming, to
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| 58 | condescend to meet me, and renew (so far as may be) our past
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| 59 | relations of the olden time. I confine myself to throwing out the
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| 60 | observation, that, at the hour and place I have indicated, may be
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| 61 | found such ruined vestiges as yet
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| 62 | 'Remain,
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| 63 | 'Of
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| 64 | 'A
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| 65 | 'Fallen Tower,
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| 66 | 'WILKINS MICAWBER.
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| 67 | 'P.S. It may be advisable to superadd to the above, the statement
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| 68 | that Mrs. Micawber is not in confidential possession of my
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| 69 | intentions.'
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| 70 | I read the letter over several times. Making due allowance for Mr.
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| 71 | Micawber's lofty style of composition, and for the extraordinary
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| 72 | relish with which he sat down and wrote long letters on all
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| 73 | possible and impossible occasions, I still believed that something
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| 74 | important lay hidden at the bottom of this roundabout
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| 75 | communication. I put it down, to think about it; and took it up
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| 76 | again, to read it once more; and was still pursuing it, when
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| 77 | Traddles found me in the height of my perplexity.
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| 78 | 'My dear fellow,' said I, 'I never was better pleased to see you.
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| 79 | You come to give me the benefit of your sober judgement at a most
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| 80 | opportune time. I have received a very singular letter, Traddles,
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| 81 | from Mr. Micawber.'
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| 82 | 'No?' cried Traddles. 'You don't say so? And I have received one
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| 83 | from Mrs. Micawber!'
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| 84 | With that, Traddles, who was flushed with walking, and whose hair,
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| 85 | under the combined effects of exercise and excitement, stood on end
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| 86 | as if he saw a cheerful ghost, produced his letter and made an
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| 87 | exchange with me. I watched him into the heart of Mr. Micawber's
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| 88 | letter, and returned the elevation of eyebrows with which he said
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| 89 | "'Wielding the thunderbolt, or directing the devouring and avenging
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| 90 | flame!" Bless me, Copperfield!'- and then entered on the perusal of
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| 91 | Mrs. Micawber's epistle.
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| 92 | It ran thus:
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| 93 | 'My best regards to Mr. Thomas Traddles, and if he should still
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| 94 | remember one who formerly had the happiness of being well
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| 95 | acquainted with him, may I beg a few moments of his leisure time?
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| 96 | I assure Mr. T. T. that I would not intrude upon his kindness, were
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| 97 | I in any other position than on the confines of distraction.
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| 98 | 'Though harrowing to myself to mention, the alienation of Mr.
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| 99 | Micawber (formerly so domesticated) from his wife and family, is
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| 100 | the cause of my addressing my unhappy appeal to Mr. Traddles, and
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| 101 | soliciting his best indulgence. Mr. T. can form no adequate idea
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| 102 | of the change in Mr. Micawber's conduct, of his wildness, of his
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| 103 | violence. It has gradually augmented, until it assumes the
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| 104 | appearance of aberration of intellect. Scarcely a day passes, I
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| 105 | assure Mr. Traddles, on which some paroxysm does not take place.
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| 106 | Mr. T. will not require me to depict my feelings, when I inform him
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| 107 | that I have become accustomed to hear Mr. Micawber assert that he
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| 108 | has sold himself to the D. Mystery and secrecy have long been his
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| 109 | principal characteristic, have long replaced unlimited confidence.
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| 110 | The slightest provocation, even being asked if there is anything he
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| 111 | would prefer for dinner, causes him to express a wish for a
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| 112 | separation. Last night, on being childishly solicited for
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| 113 | twopence, to buy 'lemon-stunners' - a local sweetmeat - he
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| 114 | presented an oyster-knife at the twins!
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| 115 | 'I entreat Mr. Traddles to bear with me in entering into these
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| 116 | details. Without them, Mr. T. would indeed find it difficult to
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| 117 | form the faintest conception of my heart-rending situation.
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| 118 | 'May I now venture to confide to Mr. T. the purport of my letter?
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| 119 | Will he now allow me to throw myself on his friendly consideration?
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| 120 | Oh yes, for I know his heart!
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| 121 | 'The quick eye of affection is not easily blinded, when of the
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| 122 | female sex. Mr. Micawber is going to London. Though he studiously
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| 123 | concealed his hand, this morning before breakfast, in writing the
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| 124 | direction-card which he attached to the little brown valise of
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| 125 | happier days, the eagle-glance of matrimonial anxiety detected, d,
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| 126 | o, n, distinctly traced. The West-End destination of the coach, is
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| 127 | the Golden Cross. Dare I fervently implore Mr. T. to see my
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| 128 | misguided husband, and to reason with him? Dare I ask Mr. T. to
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| 129 | endeavour to step in between Mr. Micawber and his agonized family?
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| 130 | Oh no, for that would be too much!
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| 131 | 'If Mr. Copperfield should yet remember one unknown to fame, will
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| 132 | Mr. T. take charge of my unalterable regards and similar
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| 133 | entreaties? In any case, he will have the benevolence to consider
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| 134 | this communication strictly private, and on no account whatever to
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| 135 | be alluded to, however distantly, in the presence of Mr. Micawber.
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| 136 | If Mr. T. should ever reply to it (which I cannot but feel to be
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| 137 | most improbable), a letter addressed to M. E., Post Office,
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| 138 | Canterbury, will be fraught with less painful consequences than any
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| 139 | addressed immediately to one, who subscribes herself, in extreme
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| 140 | distress,
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| 141 | 'Mr. Thomas Traddles's respectful friend and suppliant,
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| 142 | 'EMMA MICAWBER.'
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| 143 | 'What do you think of that letter?' said Traddles, casting his eyes
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| 144 | upon me, when I had read it twice.
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| 145 | 'What do you think of the other?' said I. For he was still reading
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| 146 | it with knitted brows.
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| 147 | 'I think that the two together, Copperfield,' replied Traddles,
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| 148 | 'mean more than Mr. and Mrs. Micawber usually mean in their
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| 149 | correspondence - but I don't know what. They are both written in
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| 150 | good faith, I have no doubt, and without any collusion. Poor
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| 151 | thing!' he was now alluding to Mrs. Micawber's letter, and we were
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| 152 | standing side by side comparing the two; 'it will be a charity to
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| 153 | write to her, at all events, and tell her that we will not fail to
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| 154 | see Mr. Micawber.'
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| 155 | I acceded to this the more readily, because I now reproached myself
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| 156 | with having treated her former letter rather lightly. It had set
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| 157 | me thinking a good deal at the time, as I have mentioned in its
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| 158 | place; but my absorption in my own affairs, my experience of the
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| 159 | family, and my hearing nothing more, had gradually ended in my
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| 160 | dismissing the subject. I had often thought of the Micawbers, but
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| 161 | chiefly to wonder what 'pecuniary liabilities' they were
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| 162 | establishing in Canterbury, and to recall how shy Mr. Micawber was
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| 163 | of me when he became clerk to Uriah Heep.
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| 164 | However, I now wrote a comforting letter to Mrs. Micawber, in our
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| 165 | joint names, and we both signed it. As we walked into town to post
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| 166 | it, Traddles and I held a long conference, and launched into a
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| 167 | number of speculations, which I need not repeat. We took my aunt
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| 168 | into our counsels in the afternoon; but our only decided conclusion
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| 169 | was, that we would be very punctual in keeping Mr. Micawber's
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| 170 | appointment.
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| 171 | Although we appeared at the stipulated place a quarter of an hour
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| 172 | before the time, we found Mr. Micawber already there. He was
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| 173 | standing with his arms folded, over against the wall, looking at
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| 174 | the spikes on the top, with a sentimental expression, as if they
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| 175 | were the interlacing boughs of trees that had shaded him in his
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| 176 | youth.
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| 177 | When we accosted him, his manner was something more confused, and
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| 178 | something less genteel, than of yore. He had relinquished his
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| 179 | legal suit of black for the purposes of this excursion, and wore
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| 180 | the old surtout and tights, but not quite with the old air. He
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| 181 | gradually picked up more and more of it as we conversed with him;
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| 182 | but, his very eye-glass seemed to hang less easily, and his
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| 183 | shirt-collar, though still of the old formidable dimensions, rather
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| 184 | drooped.
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| 185 | 'Gentlemen!' said Mr. Micawber, after the first salutations, 'you
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| 186 | are friends in need, and friends indeed. Allow me to offer my
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| 187 | inquiries with reference to the physical welfare of Mrs.
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| 188 | Copperfield in esse, and Mrs. Traddles in posse, - presuming, that
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| 189 | is to say, that my friend Mr. Traddles is not yet united to the
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| 190 | object of his affections, for weal and for woe.'
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| 191 | We acknowledged his politeness, and made suitable replies. He then
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| 192 | directed our attention to the wall, and was beginning, 'I assure
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| 193 | you, gentlemen,' when I ventured to object to that ceremonious form
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| 194 | of address, and to beg that he would speak to us in the old way.
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| 195 | 'My dear Copperfield,' he returned, pressing my hand, 'your
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| 196 | cordiality overpowers me. This reception of a shattered fragment
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| 197 | of the Temple once called Man - if I may be permitted so to express
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| 198 | myself - bespeaks a heart that is an honour to our common nature.
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| 199 | I was about to observe that I again behold the serene spot where
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| 200 | some of the happiest hours of my existence fleeted by.'
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| 201 | 'Made so, I am sure, by Mrs. Micawber,' said I. 'I hope she is
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| 202 | well?'
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| 203 | 'Thank you,' returned Mr. Micawber, whose face clouded at this
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| 204 | reference, 'she is but so-so. And this,' said Mr. Micawber,
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| 205 | nodding his head sorrowfully, 'is the Bench! Where, for the first
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| 206 | time in many revolving years, the overwhelming pressure of
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| 207 | pecuniary liabilities was not proclaimed, from day to day, by
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| 208 | importune voices declining to vacate the passage; where there was
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| 209 | no knocker on the door for any creditor to appeal to; where
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| 210 | personal service of process was not required, and detainees were
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| 211 | merely lodged at the gate! Gentlemen,' said Mr. Micawber, 'when the
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| 212 | shadow of that iron-work on the summit of the brick structure has
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| 213 | been reflected on the gravel of the Parade, I have seen my children
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| 214 | thread the mazes of the intricate pattern, avoiding the dark marks.
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| 215 | I have been familiar with every stone in the place. If I betray
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| 216 | weakness, you will know how to excuse me.'
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| 217 | 'We have all got on in life since then, Mr. Micawber,' said I.
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| 218 | 'Mr. Copperfield,' returned Mr. Micawber, bitterly, 'when I was an
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| 219 | inmate of that retreat I could look my fellow-man in the face, and
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| 220 | punch his head if he offended me. My fellow-man and myself are no
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| 221 | longer on those glorious terms!'
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| 222 | Turning from the building in a downcast manner, Mr. Micawber
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| 223 | accepted my proffered arm on one side, and the proffered arm of
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| 224 | Traddles on the other, and walked away between us.
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| 225 | 'There are some landmarks,' observed Mr. Micawber, looking fondly
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| 226 | back over his shoulder, 'on the road to the tomb, which, but for
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| 227 | the impiety of the aspiration, a man would wish never to have
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| 228 | passed. Such is the Bench in my chequered career.'
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| 229 | 'Oh, you are in low spirits, Mr. Micawber,' said Traddles.
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| 230 | 'I am, sir,' interposed Mr. Micawber.
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| 231 | 'I hope,' said Traddles, 'it is not because you have conceived a
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| 232 | dislike to the law - for I am a lawyer myself, you know.'
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| 233 | Mr. Micawber answered not a word.
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| 234 | 'How is our friend Heep, Mr. Micawber?' said I, after a silence.
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| 235 | 'My dear Copperfield,' returned Mr. Micawber, bursting into a state
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| 236 | of much excitement, and turning pale, 'if you ask after my employer
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| 237 | as your friend, I am sorry for it; if you ask after him as MY
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| 238 | friend, I sardonically smile at it. In whatever capacity you ask
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| 239 | after my employer, I beg, without offence to you, to limit my reply
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| 240 | to this - that whatever his state of health may be, his appearance
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| 241 | is foxy: not to say diabolical. You will allow me, as a private
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| 242 | individual, to decline pursuing a subject which has lashed me to
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| 243 | the utmost verge of desperation in my professional capacity.'
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| 244 | I expressed my regret for having innocently touched upon a theme
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| 245 | that roused him so much. 'May I ask,' said I, 'without any hazard
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| 246 | of repeating the mistake, how my old friends Mr. and Miss Wickfield
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| 247 | are?'
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| 248 | 'Miss Wickfield,' said Mr. Micawber, now turning red, 'is, as she
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| 249 | always is, a pattern, and a bright example. My dear Copperfield,
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| 250 | she is the only starry spot in a miserable existence. My respect
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| 251 | for that young lady, my admiration of her character, my devotion to
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| 252 | her for her love and truth, and goodness! - Take me,' said Mr.
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| 253 | Micawber, 'down a turning, for, upon my soul, in my present state
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| 254 | of mind I am not equal to this!'
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| 255 | We wheeled him off into a narrow street, where he took out his
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| 256 | pocket-handkerchief, and stood with his back to a wall. If I
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| 257 | looked as gravely at him as Traddles did, he must have found our
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| 258 | company by no means inspiriting.
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| 259 | 'It is my fate,' said Mr. Micawber, unfeignedly sobbing, but doing
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| 260 | even that, with a shadow of the old expression of doing something
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| 261 | genteel; 'it is my fate, gentlemen, that the finer feelings of our
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| 262 | nature have become reproaches to me. My homage to Miss Wickfield,
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| 263 | is a flight of arrows in my bosom. You had better leave me, if you
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| 264 | please, to walk the earth as a vagabond. The worm will settle my
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| 265 | business in double-quick time.'
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| 266 | Without attending to this invocation, we stood by, until he put up
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| 267 | his pocket-handkerchief, pulled up his shirt-collar, and, to delude
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| 268 | any person in the neighbourhood who might have been observing him,
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| 269 | hummed a tune with his hat very much on one side. I then mentioned
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| 270 | - not knowing what might be lost if we lost sight of him yet - that
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| 271 | it would give me great pleasure to introduce him to my aunt, if he
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| 272 | would ride out to Highgate, where a bed was at his service.
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| 273 | 'You shall make us a glass of your own punch, Mr. Micawber,' said
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| 274 | I, 'and forget whatever you have on your mind, in pleasanter
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| 275 | reminiscences.'
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| 276 | 'Or, if confiding anything to friends will be more likely to
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| 277 | relieve you, you shall impart it to us, Mr. Micawber,' said
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| 278 | Traddles, prudently.
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| 279 | 'Gentlemen,' returned Mr. Micawber, 'do with me as you will! I am
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| 280 | a straw upon the surface of the deep, and am tossed in all
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| 281 | directions by the elephants - I beg your pardon; I should have said
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| 282 | the elements.'
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| 283 | We walked on, arm-in-arm, again; found the coach in the act of
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| 284 | starting; and arrived at Highgate without encountering any
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| 285 | difficulties by the way. I was very uneasy and very uncertain in
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| 286 | my mind what to say or do for the best - so was Traddles,
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| 287 | evidently. Mr. Micawber was for the most part plunged into deep
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| 288 | gloom. He occasionally made an attempt to smarten himself, and hum
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| 289 | the fag-end of a tune; but his relapses into profound melancholy
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| 290 | were only made the more impressive by the mockery of a hat
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| 291 | exceedingly on one side, and a shirt-collar pulled up to his eyes.
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| 292 | We went to my aunt's house rather than to mine, because of Dora's
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| 293 | not being well. My aunt presented herself on being sent for, and
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| 294 | welcomed Mr. Micawber with gracious cordiality. Mr. Micawber
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| 295 | kissed her hand, retired to the window, and pulling out his
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| 296 | pocket-handkerchief, had a mental wrestle with himself.
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| 297 | Mr. Dick was at home. He was by nature so exceedingly
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| 298 | compassionate of anyone who seemed to be ill at ease, and was so
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| 299 | quick to find any such person out, that he shook hands with Mr.
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| 300 | Micawber, at least half-a-dozen times in five minutes. To Mr.
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| 301 | Micawber, in his trouble, this warmth, on the part of a stranger,
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| 302 | was so extremely touching, that he could only say, on the occasion
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| 303 | of each successive shake, 'My dear sir, you overpower me!' Which
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| 304 | gratified Mr. Dick so much, that he went at it again with greater
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| 305 | vigour than before.
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| 306 | 'The friendliness of this gentleman,' said Mr. Micawber to my aunt,
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| 307 | 'if you will allow me, ma'am, to cull a figure of speech from the
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| 308 | vocabulary of our coarser national sports - floors me. To a man
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| 309 | who is struggling with a complicated burden of perplexity and
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| 310 | disquiet, such a reception is trying, I assure you.'
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| 311 | 'My friend Mr. Dick,' replied my aunt proudly, 'is not a common
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| 312 | man.'
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| 313 | 'That I am convinced of,' said Mr. Micawber. 'My dear sir!' for
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| 314 | Mr. Dick was shaking hands with him again; 'I am deeply sensible of
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| 315 | your cordiality!'
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| 316 | 'How do you find yourself?' said Mr. Dick, with an anxious look.
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| 317 | 'Indifferent, my dear sir,' returned Mr. Micawber, sighing.
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| 318 | 'You must keep up your spirits,' said Mr. Dick, 'and make yourself
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| 319 | as comfortable as possible.'
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| 320 | Mr. Micawber was quite overcome by these friendly words, and by
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| 321 | finding Mr. Dick's hand again within his own. 'It has been my
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| 322 | lot,' he observed, 'to meet, in the diversified panorama of human
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| 323 | existence, with an occasional oasis, but never with one so green,
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| 324 | so gushing, as the present!'
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| 325 | At another time I should have been amused by this; but I felt that
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| 326 | we were all constrained and uneasy, and I watched Mr. Micawber so
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| 327 | anxiously, in his vacillations between an evident disposition to
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| 328 | reveal something, and a counter-disposition to reveal nothing, that
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| 329 | I was in a perfect fever. Traddles, sitting on the edge of his
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| 330 | chair, with his eyes wide open, and his hair more emphatically
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| 331 | erect than ever, stared by turns at the ground and at Mr. Micawber,
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| 332 | without so much as attempting to put in a word. My aunt, though I
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| 333 | saw that her shrewdest observation was concentrated on her new
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| 334 | guest, had more useful possession of her wits than either of us;
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| 335 | for she held him in conversation, and made it necessary for him to
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| 336 | talk, whether he liked it or not.
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| 337 | 'You are a very old friend of my nephew's, Mr. Micawber,' said my
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| 338 | aunt. 'I wish I had had the pleasure of seeing you before.'
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| 339 | 'Madam,' returned Mr. Micawber, 'I wish I had had the honour of
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| 340 | knowing you at an earlier period. I was not always the wreck you
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| 341 | at present behold.'
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| 342 | 'I hope Mrs. Micawber and your family are well, sir,' said my aunt.
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| 343 | Mr. Micawber inclined his head. 'They are as well, ma'am,' he
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| 344 | desperately observed after a pause, 'as Aliens and Outcasts can
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| 345 | ever hope to be.'
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| 346 | 'Lord bless you, sir!' exclaimed my aunt, in her abrupt way. 'What
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| 347 | are you talking about?'
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| 348 | 'The subsistence of my family, ma'am,' returned Mr. Micawber,
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| 349 | 'trembles in the balance. My employer -'
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| 350 | Here Mr. Micawber provokingly left off; and began to peel the
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| 351 | lemons that had been under my directions set before him, together
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| 352 | with all the other appliances he used in making punch.
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| 353 | 'Your employer, you know,' said Mr. Dick, jogging his arm as a
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| 354 | gentle reminder.
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| 355 | 'My good sir,' returned Mr. Micawber, 'you recall me, I am obliged
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| 356 | to you.' They shook hands again. 'My employer, ma'am - Mr. Heep
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| 357 | - once did me the favour to observe to me, that if I were not in
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| 358 | the receipt of the stipendiary emoluments appertaining to my
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| 359 | engagement with him, I should probably be a mountebank about the
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| 360 | country, swallowing a sword-blade, and eating the devouring
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| 361 | element. For anything that I can perceive to the contrary, it is
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| 362 | still probable that my children may be reduced to seek a livelihood
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| 363 | by personal contortion, while Mrs. Micawber abets their unnatural
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| 364 | feats by playing the barrel-organ.'
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| 365 | Mr. Micawber, with a random but expressive flourish of his knife,
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| 366 | signified that these performances might be expected to take place
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| 367 | after he was no more; then resumed his peeling with a desperate
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| 368 | air.
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| 369 | My aunt leaned her elbow on the little round table that she usually
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| 370 | kept beside her, and eyed him attentively. Notwithstanding the
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| 371 | aversion with which I regarded the idea of entrapping him into any
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| 372 | disclosure he was not prepared to make voluntarily, I should have
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| 373 | taken him up at this point, but for the strange proceedings in
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| 374 | which I saw him engaged; whereof his putting the lemon-peel into
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| 375 | the kettle, the sugar into the snuffer-tray, the spirit into the
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| 376 | empty jug, and confidently attempting to pour boiling water out of
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| 377 | a candlestick, were among the most remarkable. I saw that a crisis
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| 378 | was at hand, and it came. He clattered all his means and
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| 379 | implements together, rose from his chair, pulled out his
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| 380 | pocket-handkerchief, and burst into tears.
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| 381 | 'My dear Copperfield,' said Mr. Micawber, behind his handkerchief,
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| 382 | 'this is an occupation, of all others, requiring an untroubled
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| 383 | mind, and self-respect. I cannot perform it. It is out of the
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| 384 | question.'
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| 385 | 'Mr. Micawber,' said I, 'what is the matter? Pray speak out. You
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| 386 | are among friends.'
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| 387 | 'Among friends, sir!' repeated Mr. Micawber; and all he had
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| 388 | reserved came breaking out of him. 'Good heavens, it is
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| 389 | principally because I AM among friends that my state of mind is
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| 390 | what it is. What is the matter, gentlemen? What is NOT the
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| 391 | matter? Villainy is the matter; baseness is the matter; deception,
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| 392 | fraud, conspiracy, are the matter; and the name of the whole
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| 393 | atrocious mass is - HEEP!'
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| 394 | MY aunt clapped her hands, and we all started up as if we were
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| 395 | possessed.
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| 396 | 'The struggle is over!' said Mr. Micawber violently gesticulating
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| 397 | with his pocket-handkerchief, and fairly striking out from time to
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| 398 | time with both arms, as if he were swimming under superhuman
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| 399 | difficulties. 'I will lead this life no longer. I am a wretched
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| 400 | being, cut off from everything that makes life tolerable. I have
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| 401 | been under a Taboo in that infernal scoundrel's service. Give me
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| 402 | back my wife, give me back my family, substitute Micawber for the
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| 403 | petty wretch who walks about in the boots at present on my feet,
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| 404 | and call upon me to swallow a sword tomorrow, and I'll do it. With
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| 405 | an appetite!'
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| 406 | I never saw a man so hot in my life. I tried to calm him, that we
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| 407 | might come to something rational; but he got hotter and hotter, and
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| 408 | wouldn't hear a word.
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| 409 | 'I'll put my hand in no man's hand,' said Mr. Micawber, gasping,
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| 410 | puffing, and sobbing, to that degree that he was like a man
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| 411 | fighting with cold water, 'until I have - blown to fragments - the
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| 412 | - a - detestable - serpent - HEEP! I'll partake of no one's
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| 413 | hospitality, until I have - a - moved Mount Vesuvius - to eruption
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| 414 | - on - a - the abandoned rascal - HEEP! Refreshment - a -
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| 415 | underneath this roof - particularly punch - would - a - choke me -
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| 416 | unless - I had - previously - choked the eyes - out of the head -
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| 417 | a - of - interminable cheat, and liar - HEEP! I - a- I'll know
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| 418 | nobody - and - a - say nothing - and - a - live nowhere - until I
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| 419 | have crushed - to - a - undiscoverable atoms - the - transcendent
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| 420 | and immortal hypocrite and perjurer - HEEP!'
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| 421 | I really had some fear of Mr. Micawber's dying on the spot. The
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| 422 | manner in which he struggled through these inarticulate sentences,
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| 423 | and, whenever he found himself getting near the name of Heep,
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| 424 | fought his way on to it, dashed at it in a fainting state, and
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| 425 | brought it out with a vehemence little less than marvellous, was
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| 426 | frightful; but now, when he sank into a chair, steaming, and looked
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| 427 | at us, with every possible colour in his face that had no business
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| 428 | there, and an endless procession of lumps following one another in
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| 429 | hot haste up his throat, whence they seemed to shoot into his
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| 430 | forehead, he had the appearance of being in the last extremity. I
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| 431 | would have gone to his assistance, but he waved me off, and
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| 432 | wouldn't hear a word.
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| 433 | 'No, Copperfield! - No communication - a - until - Miss Wickfield
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| 434 | - a - redress from wrongs inflicted by consummate scoundrel -
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| 435 | HEEP!' (I am quite convinced he could not have uttered three words,
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| 436 | but for the amazing energy with which this word inspired him when
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| 437 | he felt it coming.) 'Inviolable secret - a - from the whole world
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| 438 | - a - no exceptions - this day week - a - at breakfast-time - a -
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| 439 | everybody present - including aunt - a - and extremely friendly
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| 440 | gentleman - to be at the hotel at Canterbury - a - where - Mrs.
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| 441 | Micawber and myself - Auld Lang Syne in chorus - and - a - will
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| 442 | expose intolerable ruffian - HEEP! No more to say - a - or listen
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| 443 | to persuasion - go immediately - not capable - a - bear society -
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| 444 | upon the track of devoted and doomed traitor - HEEP!'
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| 445 | With this last repetition of the magic word that had kept him going
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| 446 | at all, and in which he surpassed all his previous efforts, Mr.
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| 447 | Micawber rushed out of the house; leaving us in a state of
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| 448 | excitement, hope, and wonder, that reduced us to a condition little
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| 449 | better than his own. But even then his passion for writing letters
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| 450 | was too strong to be resisted; for while we were yet in the height
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| 451 | of our excitement, hope, and wonder, the following pastoral note
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| 452 | was brought to me from a neighbouring tavern, at which he had
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| 453 | called to write it: -
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| 454 | 'Most secret and confidential.
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| 455 | 'MY DEAR SIR,
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| 456 | 'I beg to be allowed to convey, through you, my apologies to your
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| 457 | excellent aunt for my late excitement. An explosion of a
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| 458 | smouldering volcano long suppressed, was the result of an internal
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| 459 | contest more easily conceived than described.
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| 460 | 'I trust I rendered tolerably intelligible my appointment for the
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| 461 | morning of this day week, at the house of public entertainment at
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| 462 | Canterbury, where Mrs. Micawber and myself had once the honour of
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| 463 | uniting our voices to yours, in the well-known strain of the
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| 464 | Immortal exciseman nurtured beyond the Tweed.
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| 465 | 'The duty done, and act of reparation performed, which can alone
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| 466 | enable me to contemplate my fellow mortal, I shall be known no
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| 467 | more. I shall simply require to be deposited in that place of
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| 468 | universal resort, where
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| 469 | Each in his narrow cell for ever laid,
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| 470 | The rude forefathers of the hamlet sleep,
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| 471 | '- With the plain Inscription,
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| 472 | 'WILKINS MICAWBER.'
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