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Charles Dickens
Chapter 36
Charles Dickens
 
 
1       there's no more story.'

2       Agnes had listened at first with suspended breath. Her colour
3  still came and went, but she breathed more freely. I thought I
4  knew why. I thought she had had some fear that her unhappy father
5  might be in some way to blame for what had happened. My aunt took
6  her hand in hers, and laughed.

7       'Is that all?' repeated my aunt. 'Why, yes, that's all, except,
8  "And she lived happy ever afterwards." Perhaps I may add that of
9  Betsey yet, one of these days. Now, Agnes, you have a wise head.
10  So have you, Trot, in some things, though I can't compliment you
11  always'; and here my aunt shook her own at me, with an energy
12  peculiar to herself. 'What's to be done? Here's the cottage,
13  taking one time with another, will produce say seventy pounds a
14  year. I think we may safely put it down at that. Well! - That's
15  all we've got,' said my aunt; with whom it was an idiosyncrasy, as
16  it is with some horses, to stop very short when she appeared to be
17  in a fair way of going on for a long while.

18       'Then,' said my aunt, after a rest, 'there's Dick. He's good for
19  a hundred a-year, but of course that must be expended on himself.
20  I would sooner send him away, though I know I am the only person
21  who appreciates him, than have him, and not spend his money on
22  himself. How can Trot and I do best, upon our means? What do you
23  say, Agnes?'

24       'I say, aunt,' I interposed, 'that I must do something!'

25       'Go for a soldier, do you mean?' returned my aunt, alarmed; 'or go
26  to sea? I won't hear of it. You are to be a proctor. We're not
27  going to have any knockings on the head in THIS family, if you
28  please, sir.'

29       I was about to explain that I was not desirous of introducing that
30  mode of provision into the family, when Agnes inquired if my rooms
31  were held for any long term?

32       'You come to the point, my dear,' said my aunt. 'They are not to
33  be got rid of, for six months at least, unless they could be
34  underlet, and that I don't believe. The last man died here. Five
35  people out of six would die - of course - of that woman in nankeen
36  with the flannel petticoat. I have a little ready money; and I
37  agree with you, the best thing we can do, is, to live the term out
38  here, and get a bedroom hard by.'

39       I thought it my duty to hint at the discomfort my aunt would
40  sustain, from living in a continual state of guerilla warfare with
41  Mrs. Crupp; but she disposed of that objection summarily by
42  declaring that, on the first demonstration of hostilities, she was
43  prepared to astonish Mrs. Crupp for the whole remainder of her
44  natural life.

45       'I have been thinking, Trotwood,' said Agnes, diffidently, 'that if
46  you had time -'

47       'I have a good deal of time, Agnes. I am always disengaged after
48  four or five o'clock, and I have time early in the morning. In one
49  way and another,' said I, conscious of reddening a little as I
50  thought of the hours and hours I had devoted to fagging about town,
51  and to and fro upon the Norwood Road, 'I have abundance of time.'

52       'I know you would not mind,' said Agnes, coming to me, and speaking
53  in a low voice, so full of sweet and hopeful consideration that I
54  hear it now, 'the duties of a secretary.'

55       'Mind, my dear Agnes?'

56       'Because,' continued Agnes, 'Doctor Strong has acted on his
57  intention of retiring, and has come to live in London; and he asked
58  papa, I know, if he could recommend him one. Don't you think he
59  would rather have his favourite old pupil near him, than anybody
60  else?'

61       'Dear Agnes!' said I. 'What should I do without you! You are
62  always my good angel. I told you so. I never think of you in any
63  other light.'

64       Agnes answered with her pleasant laugh, that one good Angel
65  (meaning Dora) was enough; and went on to remind me that the Doctor
66  had been used to occupy himself in his study, early in the morning,
67  and in the evening - and that probably my leisure would suit his
68  requirements very well. I was scarcely more delighted with the
69  prospect of earning my own bread, than with the hope of earning it
70  under my old master; in short, acting on the advice of Agnes, I sat
71  down and wrote a letter to the Doctor, stating my object, and
72  appointing to call on him next day at ten in the forenoon. This I
73  addressed to Highgate - for in that place, so memorable to me, he
74  lived - and went and posted, myself, without losing a minute.

75       Wherever Agnes was, some agreeable token of her noiseless presence
76  seemed inseparable from the place. When I came back, I found my
77  aunt's birds hanging, just as they had hung so long in the parlour
78  window of the cottage; and my easy-chair imitating my aunt's much
79  easier chair in its position at the open window; and even the round
80  green fan, which my aunt had brought away with her, screwed on to
81  the window-sill. I knew who had done all this, by its seeming to
82  have quietly done itself; and I should have known in a moment who
83  had arranged my neglected books in the old order of my school days,
84  even if I had supposed Agnes to be miles away, instead of seeing
85  her busy with them, and smiling at the disorder into which they had
86  fallen.

87       My aunt was quite gracious on the subject of the Thames (it really
88  did look very well with the sun upon it, though not like the sea
89  before the cottage), but she could not relent towards the London
90  smoke, which, she said, 'peppered everything'. A complete
91  revolution, in which Peggotty bore a prominent part, was being
92  effected in every corner of my rooms, in regard of this pepper; and
93  I was looking on, thinking how little even Peggotty seemed to do
94  with a good deal of bustle, and how much Agnes did without any
95  bustle at all, when a knock came at the door.

96       'I think,' said Agnes, turning pale, 'it's papa. He promised me
97  that he would come.'

98       I opened the door, and admitted, not only Mr. Wickfield, but Uriah
99  Heep. I had not seen Mr. Wickfield for some time. I was prepared
100  for a great change in him, after what I had heard from Agnes, but
101  his appearance shocked me.

102       It was not that he looked many years older, though still dressed
103  with the old scrupulous cleanliness; or that there was an
104  unwholesome ruddiness upon his face; or that his eyes were full and
105  bloodshot; or that there was a nervous trembling in his hand, the
106  cause of which I knew, and had for some years seen at work. It was
107  not that he had lost his good looks, or his old bearing of a
108  gentleman - for that he had not - but the thing that struck me
109  most, was, that with the evidences of his native superiority still
110  upon him, he should submit himself to that crawling impersonation
111  of meanness, Uriah Heep. The reversal of the two natures, in their
112  relative positions, Uriah's of power and Mr. Wickfield's of
113  dependence, was a sight more painful to me than I can express. If
114  I had seen an Ape taking command of a Man, I should hardly have
115  thought it a more degrading spectacle.

116       He appeared to be only too conscious of it himself. When he came
117  in, he stood still; and with his head bowed, as if he felt it.
118  This was only for a moment; for Agnes softly said to him, 'Papa!
119  Here is Miss Trotwood - and Trotwood, whom you have not seen for a
120  long while!' and then he approached, and constrainedly gave my aunt
121  his hand, and shook hands more cordially with me. In the moment's
122  pause I speak of, I saw Uriah's countenance form itself into a most
123  ill-favoured smile. Agnes saw it too, I think, for she shrank from
124  him.

125       What my aunt saw, or did not see, I defy the science of physiognomy
126  to have made out, without her own consent. I believe there never
127  was anybody with such an imperturbable countenance when she chose.
128  Her face might have been a dead-wall on the occasion in question,
129  for any light it threw upon her thoughts; until she broke silence
130  with her usual abruptness.

131       'Well, Wickfield!' said my aunt; and he looked up at her for the
132  first time. 'I have been telling your daughter how well I have
133  been disposing of my money for myself, because I couldn't trust it
134  to you, as you were growing rusty in business matters. We have
135  been taking counsel together, and getting on very well, all things
136  considered. Agnes is worth the whole firm, in my opinion.'

137       'If I may umbly make the remark,' said Uriah Heep, with a writhe,
138  'I fully agree with Miss Betsey Trotwood, and should be only too
139  appy if Miss Agnes was a partner.'

140       'You're a partner yourself, you know,' returned my aunt, 'and
141  that's about enough for you, I expect. How do you find yourself,
142  sir?'

143       In acknowledgement of this question, addressed to him with
144  extraordinary curtness, Mr. Heep, uncomfortably clutching the blue
145  bag he carried, replied that he was pretty well, he thanked my
146  aunt, and hoped she was the same.

147       'And you, Master - I should say, Mister Copperfield,' pursued
148  Uriah. 'I hope I see you well! I am rejoiced to see you, Mister
149  Copperfield, even under present circumstances.' I believed that;
150  for he seemed to relish them very much. 'Present circumstances is
151  not what your friends would wish for you, Mister Copperfield, but
152  it isn't money makes the man: it's - I am really unequal with my
153  umble powers to express what it is,' said Uriah, with a fawning
154  jerk, 'but it isn't money!'

155       Here he shook hands with me: not in the common way, but standing at
156  a good distance from me, and lifting my hand up and down like a
157  pump handle, that he was a little afraid of.

158       'And how do you think we are looking, Master Copperfield, - I
159  should say, Mister?' fawned Uriah. 'Don't you find Mr. Wickfield
160  blooming, sir? Years don't tell much in our firm, Master
161  Copperfield, except in raising up the umble, namely, mother and
162  self - and in developing,' he added, as an afterthought, 'the
163  beautiful, namely, Miss Agnes.'

164       He jerked himself about, after this compliment, in such an
165  intolerable manner, that my aunt, who had sat looking straight at
166  him, lost all patience.

167       'Deuce take the man!' said my aunt, sternly, 'what's he about?
168  Don't be galvanic, sir!'

169       'I ask your pardon, Miss Trotwood,' returned Uriah; 'I'm aware
170  you're nervous.'

171       'Go along with you, sir!' said my aunt, anything but appeased.
172  'Don't presume to say so! I am nothing of the sort. If you're an
173  eel, sir, conduct yourself like one. If you're a man, control your
174  limbs, sir! Good God!' said my aunt, with great indignation, 'I am
175  not going to be serpentined and corkscrewed out of my senses!'

176       Mr. Heep was rather abashed, as most people might have been, by
177  this explosion; which derived great additional force from the
178  indignant manner in which my aunt afterwards moved in her chair,
179  and shook her head as if she were making snaps or bounces at him.
180  But he said to me aside in a meek voice:

181       'I am well aware, Master Copperfield, that Miss Trotwood, though an
182  excellent lady, has a quick temper (indeed I think I had the
183  pleasure of knowing her, when I was a numble clerk, before you did,
184  Master Copperfield), and it's only natural, I am sure, that it
185  should be made quicker by present circumstances. The wonder is,
186  that it isn't much worse! I only called to say that if there was
187  anything we could do, in present circumstances, mother or self, or
188  Wickfield and Heep, -we should be really glad. I may go so far?'
189  said Uriah, with a sickly smile at his partner.

190       'Uriah Heep,' said Mr. Wickfield, in a monotonous forced way, 'is
191  active in the business, Trotwood. What he says, I quite concur in.
192  You know I had an old interest in you. Apart from that, what Uriah
193  says I quite concur in!'

194       'Oh, what a reward it is,' said Uriah, drawing up one leg, at the
195  risk of bringing down upon himself another visitation from my aunt,
196  'to be so trusted in! But I hope I am able to do something to
197  relieve him from the fatigues of business, Master Copperfield!'

198       'Uriah Heep is a great relief to me,' said Mr. Wickfield, in the
199  same dull voice. 'It's a load off my mind, Trotwood, to have such
200  a partner.'

201       The red fox made him say all this, I knew, to exhibit him to me in
202  the light he had indicated on the night when he poisoned my rest.
203  I saw the same ill-favoured smile upon his face again, and saw how
204  he watched me.

205       'You are not going, papa?' said Agnes, anxiously. 'Will you not
206  walk back with Trotwood and me?'

207       He would have looked to Uriah, I believe, before replying, if that
208  worthy had not anticipated him.

209       'I am bespoke myself,' said Uriah, 'on business; otherwise I should
210  have been appy to have kept with my friends. But I leave my
211  partner to represent the firm. Miss Agnes, ever yours! I wish you
212  good-day, Master Copperfield, and leave my umble respects for Miss
213  Betsey Trotwood.'

214       With those words, he retired, kissing his great hand, and leering
215  at us like a mask.

216       We sat there, talking about our pleasant old Canterbury days, an
217  hour or two. Mr. Wickfield, left to Agnes, soon became more like
218  his former self; though there was a settled depression upon him,
219  which he never shook off. For all that, he brightened; and had an
220  evident pleasure in hearing us recall the little incidents of our
221  old life, many of which he remembered very well. He said it was
222  like those times, to be alone with Agnes and me again; and he
223  wished to Heaven they had never changed. I am sure there was an
224  influence in the placid face of Agnes, and in the very touch of her
225  hand upon his arm, that did wonders for him.

226       My aunt (who was busy nearly all this while with Peggotty, in the
227  inner room) would not accompany us to the place where they were
228  staying, but insisted on my going; and I went. We dined together.
229  After dinner, Agnes sat beside him, as of old, and poured out his
230  wine. He took what she gave him, and no more - like a child - and
231  we all three sat together at a window as the evening gathered in.
232  When it was almost dark, he lay down on a sofa, Agnes pillowing his
233  head and bending over him a little while; and when she came back to
234  the window, it was not so dark but I could see tears glittering in
235  her eyes.

236       I pray Heaven that I never may forget the dear girl in her love and
237  truth, at that time of my life; for if I should, I must be drawing
238  near the end, and then I would desire to remember her best! She
239  filled my heart with such good resolutions, strengthened my
240  weakness so, by her example, so directed - I know not how, she was
241  too modest and gentle to advise me in many words - the wandering
242  ardour and unsettled purpose within me, that all the little good I
243  have done, and all the harm I have forborne, I solemnly believe I
244  may refer to her.

245       And how she spoke to me of Dora, sitting at the window in the dark;
246  listened to my praises of her; praised again; and round the little
247  fairy-figure shed some glimpses of her own pure light, that made it
248  yet more precious and more innocent to me! Oh, Agnes, sister of my
249  boyhood, if I had known then, what I knew long afterwards! -

250       There was a beggar in the street, when I went down; and as I turned
251  my head towards the window, thinking of her calm seraphic eyes, he
252  made me start by muttering, as if he were an echo of the morning:
253  'Blind! Blind! Blind!'

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