Home


Charles Dickens
Chapter 28
Charles Dickens
 
 
1       Until the day arrived on which I was to entertain my newly-found
2  old friends, I lived principally on Dora and coffee. In my
3  love-lorn condition, my appetite languished; and I was glad of it,
4  for I felt as though it would have been an act of perfidy towards
5  Dora to have a natural relish for my dinner. The quantity of
6  walking exercise I took, was not in this respect attended with its
7  usual consequence, as the disappointment counteracted the fresh
8  air. I have my doubts, too, founded on the acute experience
9  acquired at this period of my life, whether a sound enjoyment of
10  animal food can develop itself freely in any human subject who is
11  always in torment from tight boots. I think the extremities
12  require to be at peace before the stomach will conduct itself with
13  vigour.

14       On the occasion of this domestic little party, I did not repeat my
15  former extensive preparations. I merely provided a pair of soles,
16  a small leg of mutton, and a pigeon-pie. Mrs. Crupp broke out into
17  rebellion on my first bashful hint in reference to the cooking of
18  the fish and joint, and said, with a dignified sense of injury,
19  'No! No, sir! You will not ask me sich a thing, for you are
20  better acquainted with me than to suppose me capable of doing what
21  I cannot do with ampial satisfaction to my own feelings!' But, in
22  the end, a compromise was effected; and Mrs. Crupp consented to
23  achieve this feat, on condition that I dined from home for a
24  fortnight afterwards.

25       And here I may remark, that what I underwent from Mrs. Crupp, in
26  consequence of the tyranny she established over me, was dreadful.
27  I never was so much afraid of anyone. We made a compromise of
28  everything. If I hesitated, she was taken with that wonderful
29  disorder which was always lying in ambush in her system, ready, at
30  the shortest notice, to prey upon her vitals. If I rang the bell
31  impatiently, after half-a-dozen unavailing modest pulls, and she
32  appeared at last - which was not by any means to be relied upon -
33  she would appear with a reproachful aspect, sink breathless on a
34  chair near the door, lay her hand upon her nankeen bosom, and
35  become so ill, that I was glad, at any sacrifice of brandy or
36  anything else, to get rid of her. If I objected to having my bed
37  made at five o'clock in the afternoon - which I do still think an
38  uncomfortable arrangement - one motion of her hand towards the same
39  nankeen region of wounded sensibility was enough to make me falter
40  an apology. In short, I would have done anything in an honourable
41  way rather than give Mrs. Crupp offence; and she was the terror of
42  my life.

43       I bought a second-hand dumb-waiter for this dinner-party, in
44  preference to re-engaging the handy young man; against whom I had
45  conceived a prejudice, in consequence of meeting him in the Strand,
46  one Sunday morning, in a waistcoat remarkably like one of mine,
47  which had been missing since the former occasion. The 'young gal'
48  was re-engaged; but on the stipulation that she should only bring
49  in the dishes, and then withdraw to the landing-place, beyond the
50  outer door; where a habit of sniffing she had contracted would be
51  lost upon the guests, and where her retiring on the plates would be
52  a physical impossibility.

53       Having laid in the materials for a bowl of punch, to be compounded
54  by Mr. Micawber; having provided a bottle of lavender-water, two
55  wax-candles, a paper of mixed pins, and a pincushion, to assist
56  Mrs. Micawber in her toilette at my dressing-table; having also
57  caused the fire in my bedroom to be lighted for Mrs. Micawber's
58  convenience; and having laid the cloth with my own hands, I awaited
59  the result with composure.

60       At the appointed time, my three visitors arrived together. Mr.
61  Micawber with more shirt-collar than usual, and a new ribbon to his
62  eye-glass; Mrs. Micawber with her cap in a whitey-brown paper
63  parcel; Traddles carrying the parcel, and supporting Mrs. Micawber
64  on his arm. They were all delighted with my residence. When I
65  conducted Mrs. Micawber to my dressing-table, and she saw the scale
66  on which it was prepared for her, she was in such raptures, that
67  she called Mr. Micawber to come in and look.

68       'My dear Copperfield,' said Mr. Micawber, 'this is luxurious. This
69  is a way of life which reminds me of the period when I was myself
70  in a state of celibacy, and Mrs. Micawber had not yet been
71  solicited to plight her faith at the Hymeneal altar.'

72       'He means, solicited by him, Mr. Copperfield,' said Mrs. Micawber,
73  archly. 'He cannot answer for others.'

74       'My dear,' returned Mr. Micawber with sudden seriousness, 'I have
75  no desire to answer for others. I am too well aware that when, in
76  the inscrutable decrees of Fate, you were reserved for me, it is
77  possible you may have been reserved for one, destined, after a
78  protracted struggle, at length to fall a victim to pecuniary
79  involvements of a complicated nature. I understand your allusion,
80  my love. I regret it, but I can bear it.'

81       'Micawber!' exclaimed Mrs. Micawber, in tears. 'Have I deserved
82  this! I, who never have deserted you; who never WILL desert you,
83  Micawber!'
84  'My love,' said Mr. Micawber, much affected, 'you will forgive, and
85  our old and tried friend Copperfield will, I am sure, forgive, the
86  momentary laceration of a wounded spirit, made sensitive by a
87  recent collision with the Minion of Power - in other words, with a
88  ribald Turncock attached to the water-works - and will pity, not
89  condemn, its excesses.'

90       Mr. Micawber then embraced Mrs. Micawber, and pressed my hand;
91  leaving me to infer from this broken allusion that his domestic
92  supply of water had been cut off that afternoon, in consequence of
93  default in the payment of the company's rates.

94       To divert his thoughts from this melancholy subject, I informed Mr.
95  Micawber that I relied upon him for a bowl of punch, and led him to
96  the lemons. His recent despondency, not to say despair, was gone
97  in a moment. I never saw a man so thoroughly enjoy himself amid
98  the fragrance of lemon-peel and sugar, the odour of burning rum,
99  and the steam of boiling water, as Mr. Micawber did that afternoon.
100  It was wonderful to see his face shining at us out of a thin cloud
101  of these delicate fumes, as he stirred, and mixed, and tasted, and
102  looked as if he were making, instead of punch, a fortune for his
103  family down to the latest posterity. As to Mrs. Micawber, I don't
104  know whether it was the effect of the cap, or the lavender-water,
105  or the pins, or the fire, or the wax-candles, but she came out of
106  my room, comparatively speaking, lovely. And the lark was never
107  gayer than that excellent woman.

108       I suppose - I never ventured to inquire, but I suppose - that Mrs.
109  Crupp, after frying the soles, was taken ill. Because we broke
110  down at that point. The leg of mutton came up very red within, and
111  very pale without: besides having a foreign substance of a gritty
112  nature sprinkled over it, as if if had had a fall into the ashes of
113  that remarkable kitchen fireplace. But we were not in condition to
114  judge of this fact from the appearance of the gravy, forasmuch as
115  the 'young gal' had dropped it all upon the stairs - where it
116  remained, by the by, in a long train, until it was worn out. The
117  pigeon-pie was not bad, but it was a delusive pie: the crust being
118  like a disappointing head, phrenologically speaking: full of lumps
119  and bumps, with nothing particular underneath. In short, the
120  banquet was such a failure that I should have been quite unhappy -
121  about the failure, I mean, for I was always unhappy about Dora - if
122  I had not been relieved by the great good humour of my company, and
123  by a bright suggestion from Mr. Micawber.

124       'My dear friend Copperfield,' said Mr. Micawber, 'accidents will
125  occur in the best-regulated families; and in families not regulated
126  by that pervading influence which sanctifies while it enhances the
127  - a - I would say, in short, by the influence of Woman, in the
128  lofty character of Wife, they may be expected with confidence, and
129  must be borne with philosophy. If you will allow me to take the
130  liberty of remarking that there are few comestibles better, in
131  their way, than a Devil, and that I believe, with a little division
132  of labour, we could accomplish a good one if the young person in
133  attendance could produce a gridiron, I would put it to you, that
134  this little misfortune may be easily repaired.'

135       There was a gridiron in the pantry, on which my morning rasher of
136  bacon was cooked. We had it in, in a twinkling, and immediately
137  applied ourselves to carrying Mr. Micawber's idea into effect. The
138  division of labour to which he had referred was this: - Traddles
139  cut the mutton into slices; Mr. Micawber (who could do anything of
140  this sort to perfection) covered them with pepper, mustard, salt,
141  and cayenne; I put them on the gridiron, turned them with a fork,
142  and took them off, under Mr. Micawber's direction; and Mrs.
143  Micawber heated, and continually stirred, some mushroom ketchup in
144  a little saucepan. When we had slices enough done to begin upon,
145  we fell-to, with our sleeves still tucked up at the wrist, more
146  slices sputtering and blazing on the fire, and our attention
147  divided between the mutton on our plates, and the mutton then
148  preparing.

149       What with the novelty of this cookery, the excellence of it, the
150  bustle of it, the frequent starting up to look after it, the
151  frequent sitting down to dispose of it as the crisp slices came off
152  the gridiron hot and hot, the being so busy, so flushed with the
153  fire, so amused, and in the midst of such a tempting noise and
154  savour, we reduced the leg of mutton to the bone. My own appetite
155  came back miraculously. I am ashamed to record it, but I really
156  believe I forgot Dora for a little while. I am satisfied that Mr.
157  and Mrs. Micawber could not have enjoyed the feast more, if they
158  had sold a bed to provide it. Traddles laughed as heartily, almost
159  the whole time, as he ate and worked. Indeed we all did, all at
160  once; and I dare say there was never a greater success.

161       We were at the height of our enjoyment, and were all busily
162  engaged, in our several departments, endeavouring to bring the last
163  batch of slices to a state of perfection that should crown the
164  feast, when I was aware of a strange presence in the room, and my
165  eyes encountered those of the staid Littimer, standing hat in hand
166  before me.

167       'What's the matter?' I involuntarily asked.

168       'I beg your pardon, sir, I was directed to come in. Is my master
169  not here, sir?'

170       'No.'

171       'Have you not seen him, sir?'

172       'No; don't you come from him?'

173       'Not immediately so, sir.'

174       'Did he tell you you would find him here?'

175       'Not exactly so, sir. But I should think he might be here
176  tomorrow, as he has not been here today.'
177  'Is he coming up from Oxford?'

178       'I beg, sir,' he returned respectfully, 'that you will be seated,
179  and allow me to do this.' With which he took the fork from my
180  unresisting hand, and bent over the gridiron, as if his whole
181  attention were concentrated on it.

182       We should not have been much discomposed, I dare say, by the
183  appearance of Steerforth himself, but we became in a moment the
184  meekest of the meek before his respectable serving-man. Mr.
185  Micawber, humming a tune, to show that he was quite at ease,
186  subsided into his chair, with the handle of a hastily concealed
187  fork sticking out of the bosom of his coat, as if he had stabbed
188  himself. Mrs. Micawber put on her brown gloves, and assumed a
189  genteel languor. Traddles ran his greasy hands through his hair,
190  and stood it bolt upright, and stared in confusion on the
191  table-cloth. As for me, I was a mere infant at the head of my own
192  table; and hardly ventured to glance at the respectable phenomenon,
193  who had come from Heaven knows where, to put my establishment to
194  rights.

195       Meanwhile he took the mutton off the gridiron, and gravely handed
196  it round. We all took some, but our appreciation of it was gone,
197  and we merely made a show of eating it. As we severally pushed
198  away our plates, he noiselessly removed them, and set on the
199  cheese. He took that off, too, when it was done with; cleared the
200  table; piled everything on the dumb-waiter; gave us our
201  wine-glasses; and, of his own accord, wheeled the dumb-waiter into
202  the pantry. All this was done in a perfect manner, and he never
203  raised his eyes from what he was about. Yet his very elbows, when
204  he had his back towards me, seemed to teem with the expression of
205  his fixed opinion that I was extremely young.

206       'Can I do anything more, sir?'

207       I thanked him and said, No; but would he take no dinner himself?

208       'None, I am obliged to you, sir.'

209       'Is Mr. Steerforth coming from Oxford?'

210       'I beg your pardon, sir?'

211       'Is Mr. Steerforth coming from Oxford?'

212       'I should imagine that he might be here tomorrow, sir. I rather
213  thought he might have been here today, sir. The mistake is mine,
214  no doubt, sir.'

215       'If you should see him first -' said I.

216       'If you'll excuse me, sir, I don't think I shall see him first.'

217       'In case you do,' said I, 'pray say that I am sorry he was not here
218  today, as an old schoolfellow of his was here.'

219       'Indeed, sir!' and he divided a bow between me and Traddles, with
220  a glance at the latter.

221       He was moving softly to the door, when, in a forlorn hope of saying
222  something naturally - which I never could, to this man - I said:

223       'Oh! Littimer!'

224       'Sir!'

225       'Did you remain long at Yarmouth, that time?'

226       'Not particularly so, sir.'

227       'You saw the boat completed?'

228       'Yes, sir. I remained behind on purpose to see the boat
229  completed.'

230       'I know!' He raised his eyes to mine respectfully.

231       'Mr. Steerforth has not seen it yet, I suppose?'

232       'I really can't say, sir. I think - but I really can't say, sir.
233  I wish you good night, sir.'

234       He comprehended everybody present, in the respectful bow with which
235  he followed these words, and disappeared. My visitors seemed to
236  breathe more freely when he was gone; but my own relief was very
237  great, for besides the constraint, arising from that extraordinary
238  sense of being at a disadvantage which I always had in this man's
239  presence, my conscience had embarrassed me with whispers that I had
240  mistrusted his master, and I could not repress a vague uneasy dread
241  that he might find it out. How was it, having so little in reality
242  to conceal, that I always DID feel as if this man were finding me
243  out?

244       Mr. Micawber roused me from this reflection, which was blended with
245  a certain remorseful apprehension of seeing Steerforth himself, by
246  bestowing many encomiums on the absent Littimer as a most
247  respectable fellow, and a thoroughly admirable servant. Mr.
248  Micawber, I may remark, had taken his full share of the general
249  bow, and had received it with infinite condescension.

250       'But punch, my dear Copperfield,' said Mr. Micawber, tasting it,
251  'like time and tide, waits for no man. Ah! it is at the present
252  moment in high flavour. My love, will you give me your opinion?'

253       Mrs. Micawber pronounced it excellent.

254       'Then I will drink,' said Mr. Micawber, 'if my friend Copperfield
255  will permit me to take that social liberty, to the days when my
256  friend Copperfield and myself were younger, and fought our way in
257  the world side by side. I may say, of myself and Copperfield, in
258  words we have sung together before now, that

259       We twa hae run about the braes
260  And pu'd the gowans' fine

261       - in a figurative point of view - on several occasions. I am not
262  exactly aware,' said Mr. Micawber, with the old roll in his voice,
263  and the old indescribable air of saying something genteel, 'what
264  gowans may be, but I have no doubt that Copperfield and myself
265  would frequently have taken a pull at them, if it had been
266  feasible.'

267       Mr. Micawber, at the then present moment, took a pull at his punch.
268  So we all did: Traddles evidently lost in wondering at what distant
269  time Mr. Micawber and I could have been comrades in the battle of
270  the world.

271       'Ahem!' said Mr. Micawber, clearing his throat, and warming with
272  the punch and with the fire. 'My dear, another glass?'

273       Mrs. Micawber said it must be very little; but we couldn't allow
274  that, so it was a glassful.

275       'As we are quite confidential here, Mr. Copperfield,' said Mrs.
276  Micawber, sipping her punch, 'Mr. Traddles being a part of our
277  domesticity, I should much like to have your opinion on Mr.
278  Micawber's prospects. For corn,' said Mrs. Micawber
279  argumentatively, 'as I have repeatedly said to Mr. Micawber, may be
280  gentlemanly, but it is not remunerative. Commission to the extent
281  of two and ninepence in a fortnight cannot, however limited our
282  ideas, be considered remunerative.'

283       We were all agreed upon that.

284       'Then,' said Mrs. Micawber, who prided herself on taking a clear
285  view of things, and keeping Mr. Micawber straight by her woman's
286  wisdom, when he might otherwise go a little crooked, 'then I ask
287  myself this question. If corn is not to be relied upon, what is?
288  Are coals to be relied upon? Not at all. We have turned our
289  attention to that experiment, on the suggestion of my family, and
290  we find it fallacious.'

291       Mr. Micawber, leaning back in his chair with his hands in his
292  pockets, eyed us aside, and nodded his head, as much as to say that
293  the case was very clearly put.

294       'The articles of corn and coals,' said Mrs. Micawber, still more
295  argumentatively, 'being equally out of the question, Mr.
296  Copperfield, I naturally look round the world, and say, "What is
297  there in which a person of Mr. Micawber's talent is likely to
298  succeed?" And I exclude the doing anything on commission, because
299  commission is not a certainty. What is best suited to a person of
300  Mr. Micawber's peculiar temperament is, I am convinced, a
301  certainty.'

302       Traddles and I both expressed, by a feeling murmur, that this great
303  discovery was no doubt true of Mr. Micawber, and that it did him
304  much credit.

305       'I will not conceal from you, my dear Mr. Copperfield,' said Mrs.
306  Micawber, 'that I have long felt the Brewing business to be
307  particularly adapted to Mr. Micawber. Look at Barclay and Perkins!
308  Look at Truman, Hanbury, and Buxton! It is on that extensive
309  footing that Mr. Micawber, I know from my own knowledge of him, is
310  calculated to shine; and the profits, I am told, are e-NOR-MOUS!
311  But if Mr. Micawber cannot get into those firms - which decline to
312  answer his letters, when he offers his services even in an inferior
313  capacity - what is the use of dwelling upon that idea? None. I
314  may have a conviction that Mr. Micawber's manners -'

315       'Hem! Really, my dear,' interposed Mr. Micawber.

316       'My love, be silent,' said Mrs. Micawber, laying her brown glove on
317  his hand. 'I may have a conviction, Mr. Copperfield, that Mr.
318  Micawber's manners peculiarly qualify him for the Banking business.
319  I may argue within myself, that if I had a deposit at a
320  banking-house, the manners of Mr. Micawber, as representing that
321  banking-house, would inspire confidence, and must extend the
322  connexion. But if the various banking-houses refuse to avail
323  themselves of Mr. Micawber's abilities, or receive the offer of
324  them with contumely, what is the use of dwelling upon THAT idea?
325  None. As to originating a banking-business, I may know that there
326  are members of my family who, if they chose to place their money in
327  Mr. Micawber's hands, might found an establishment of that
328  description. But if they do NOT choose to place their money in Mr.
329  Micawber's hands - which they don't - what is the use of that?
330  Again I contend that we are no farther advanced than we were
331  before.'

332       I shook my head, and said, 'Not a bit.' Traddles also shook his
333  head, and said, 'Not a bit.'

334       'What do I deduce from this?' Mrs. Micawber went on to say, still
335  with the same air of putting a case lucidly. 'What is the
336  conclusion, my dear Mr. Copperfield, to which I am irresistibly
337  brought? Am I wrong in saying, it is clear that we must live?'

338       I answered 'Not at all!' and Traddles answered 'Not at all!' and I
339  found myself afterwards sagely adding, alone, that a person must
340  either live or die.

341       'Just so,' returned Mrs. Micawber, 'It is precisely that. And the
342  fact is, my dear Mr. Copperfield, that we can not live without
343  something widely different from existing circumstances shortly
344  turning up. Now I am convinced, myself, and this I have pointed
345  out to Mr. Micawber several times of late, that things cannot be
346  expected to turn up of themselves. We must, in a measure, assist
347  to turn them up. I may be wrong, but I have formed that opinion.'

348       Both Traddles and I applauded it highly.

349       'Very well,' said Mrs. Micawber. 'Then what do I recommend? Here
350  is Mr. Micawber with a variety of qualifications - with great
351  talent -'

352       'Really, my love,' said Mr. Micawber.

353       'Pray, my dear, allow me to conclude. Here is Mr. Micawber, with
354  a variety of qualifications, with great talent - I should say, with
355  genius, but that may be the partiality of a wife -'

356       Traddles and I both murmured 'No.'

357       'And here is Mr. Micawber without any suitable position or
358  employment. Where does that responsibility rest? Clearly on
359  society. Then I would make a fact so disgraceful known, and boldly
360  challenge society to set it right. It appears to me, my dear Mr.
361  Copperfield,' said Mrs. Micawber, forcibly, 'that what Mr. Micawber
362  has to do, is to throw down the gauntlet to society, and say, in
363  effect, "Show me who will take that up. Let the party immediately
364  step forward."'

365       I ventured to ask Mrs. Micawber how this was to be done.

366       'By advertising,' said Mrs. Micawber - 'in all the papers. It
367  appears to me, that what Mr. Micawber has to do, in justice to
368  himself, in justice to his family, and I will even go so far as to
369  say in justice to society, by which he has been hitherto
370  overlooked, is to advertise in all the papers; to describe himself
371  plainly as so-and-so, with such and such qualifications and to put
372  it thus: "Now employ me, on remunerative terms, and address,
373  post-paid, to W. M., Post Office, Camden Town."'

374       'This idea of Mrs. Micawber's, my dear Copperfield,' said Mr.
375  Micawber, making his shirt-collar meet in front of his chin, and
376  glancing at me sideways, 'is, in fact, the Leap to which I alluded,
377  when I last had the pleasure of seeing you.'

378       'Advertising is rather expensive,' I remarked, dubiously.

379       'Exactly so!' said Mrs. Micawber, preserving the same logical air.
380  'Quite true, my dear Mr. Copperfield! I have made the identical
381  observation to Mr. Micawber. It is for that reason especially,
382  that I think Mr. Micawber ought (as I have already said, in justice
383  to himself, in justice to his family, and in justice to society) to
384  raise a certain sum of money - on a bill.'

385       Mr. Micawber, leaning back in his chair, trifled with his eye-glass
386  and cast his eyes up at the ceiling; but I thought him observant of
387  Traddles, too, who was looking at the fire.

388       'If no member of my family,' said Mrs. Micawber, 'is possessed of
389  sufficient natural feeling to negotiate that bill - I believe there
390  is a better business-term to express what I mean -'

391       Mr. Micawber, with his eyes still cast up at the ceiling, suggested
392  'Discount.'

393       'To discount that bill,' said Mrs. Micawber, 'then my opinion is,
394  that Mr. Micawber should go into the City, should take that bill
395  into the Money Market, and should dispose of it for what he can
396  get. If the individuals in the Money Market oblige Mr. Micawber to
397  sustain a great sacrifice, that is between themselves and their
398  consciences. I view it, steadily, as an investment. I recommend
399  Mr. Micawber, my dear Mr. Copperfield, to do the same; to regard it
400  as an investment which is sure of return, and to make up his mind
401  to any sacrifice.'

402       I felt, but I am sure I don't know why, that this was self-denying
403  and devoted in Mrs. Micawber, and I uttered a murmur to that
404  effect. Traddles, who took his tone from me, did likewise, still
405  looking at the fire.

406       'I will not,' said Mrs. Micawber, finishing her punch, and
407  gathering her scarf about her shoulders, preparatory to her
408  withdrawal to my bedroom: 'I will not protract these remarks on the
409  subject of Mr. Micawber's pecuniary affairs. At your fireside, my
410  dear Mr. Copperfield, and in the presence of Mr. Traddles, who,
411  though not so old a friend, is quite one of ourselves, I could not
412  refrain from making you acquainted with the course I advise Mr.
413  Micawber to take. I feel that the time is arrived when Mr.
414  Micawber should exert himself and - I will add - assert himself,
415  and it appears to me that these are the means. I am aware that I
416  am merely a female, and that a masculine judgement is usually
417  considered more competent to the discussion of such questions;
418  still I must not forget that, when I lived at home with my papa and
419  mama, my papa was in the habit of saying, "Emma's form is fragile,
420  but her grasp of a subject is inferior to none." That my papa was
421  too partial, I well know; but that he was an observer of character
422  in some degree, my duty and my reason equally forbid me to doubt.'

423       With these words, and resisting our entreaties that she would grace
424  the remaining circulation of the punch with her presence, Mrs.
425  Micawber retired to my bedroom. And really I felt that she was a
426  noble woman - the sort of woman who might have been a Roman matron,
427  and done all manner of heroic things, in times of public trouble.

428       In the fervour of this impression, I congratulated Mr. Micawber on
429  the treasure he possessed. So did Traddles. Mr. Micawber extended
430  his hand to each of us in succession, and then covered his face
431  with his pocket-handkerchief, which I think had more snuff upon it
432  than he was aware of. He then returned to the punch, in the
433  highest state of exhilaration.

434       He was full of eloquence. He gave us to understand that in our
435  children we lived again, and that, under the pressure of pecuniary
436  difficulties, any accession to their number was doubly welcome. He
437  said that Mrs. Micawber had latterly had her doubts on this point,
438  but that he had dispelled them, and reassured her. As to her
439  family, they were totally unworthy of her, and their sentiments
440  were utterly indifferent to him, and they might - I quote his own
441  expression - go to the Devil.

442       Mr. Micawber then delivered a warm eulogy on Traddles. He said
443  Traddles's was a character, to the steady virtues of which he (Mr.
444  Micawber) could lay no claim, but which, he thanked Heaven, he
445  could admire. He feelingly alluded to the young lady, unknown,
446  whom Traddles had honoured with his affection, and who had
447  reciprocated that affection by honouring and blessing Traddles with
448  her affection. Mr. Micawber pledged her. So did I. Traddles
449  thanked us both, by saying, with a simplicity and honesty I had
450  sense enough to be quite charmed with, 'I am very much obliged to
451  you indeed. And I do assure you, she's the dearest girl! -'

452       Mr. Micawber took an early opportunity, after that, of hinting,
453  with the utmost delicacy and ceremony, at the state of MY
454  affections. Nothing but the serious assurance of his friend
455  Copperfield to the contrary, he observed, could deprive him of the
456  impression that his friend Copperfield loved and was beloved.
457  After feeling very hot and uncomfortable for some time, and after
458  a good deal of blushing, stammering, and denying, I said, having my
459  glass in my hand, 'Well! I would give them D.!' which so excited
460  and gratified Mr. Micawber, that he ran with a glass of punch into
461  my bedroom, in order that Mrs. Micawber might drink D., who drank
462  it with enthusiasm, crying from within, in a shrill voice, 'Hear,
463  hear! My dear Mr. Copperfield, I am delighted. Hear!' and tapping
464  at the wall, by way of applause.

465       Our conversation, afterwards, took a more worldly turn; Mr.
466  Micawber telling us that he found Camden Town inconvenient, and
467  that the first thing he contemplated doing, when the advertisement
468  should have been the cause of something satisfactory turning up,
469  was to move. He mentioned a terrace at the western end of Oxford
470  Street, fronting Hyde Park, on which he had always had his eye, but
471  which he did not expect to attain immediately, as it would require
472  a large establishment. There would probably be an interval, he
473  explained, in which he should content himself with the upper part
474  of a house, over some respectable place of business - say in
475  Piccadilly, - which would be a cheerful situation for Mrs.
476  Micawber; and where, by throwing out a bow-window, or carrying up
477  the roof another story, or making some little alteration of that
478  sort, they might live, comfortably and reputably, for a few years.
479  Whatever was reserved for him, he expressly said, or wherever his
480  abode might be, we might rely on this - there would always be a
481  room for Traddles, and a knife and fork for me. We acknowledged
482  his kindness; and he begged us to forgive his having launched into
483  these practical and business-like details, and to excuse it as
484  natural in one who was making entirely new arrangements in life.

485       Mrs. Micawber, tapping at the wall again to know if tea were ready,
486  broke up this particular phase of our friendly conversation. She
487  made tea for us in a most agreeable manner; and, whenever I went
488  near her, in handing about the tea-cups and bread-and-butter, asked
489  me, in a whisper, whether D. was fair, or dark, or whether she was
490  short, or tall: or something of that kind; which I think I liked.
491  After tea, we discussed a variety of topics before the fire; and
492  Mrs. Micawber was good enough to sing us (in a small, thin, flat
493  voice, which I remembered to have considered, when I first knew
494  her, the very table-beer of acoustics) the favourite ballads of
495  'The Dashing White Sergeant', and 'Little Tafflin'. For both of
496  these songs Mrs. Micawber had been famous when she lived at home
497  with her papa and mama. Mr. Micawber told us, that when he heard
498  her sing the first one, on the first occasion of his seeing her
499  beneath the parental roof, she had attracted his attention in an
500  extraordinary degree; but that when it came to Little Tafflin, he
501  had resolved to win that woman or perish in the attempt.

502       It was between ten and eleven o'clock when Mrs. Micawber rose to
503  replace her cap in the whitey-brown paper parcel, and to put on her
504  bonnet. Mr. Micawber took the opportunity of Traddles putting on
505  his great-coat, to slip a letter into my hand, with a whispered
506  request that I would read it at my leisure. I also took the
507  opportunity of my holding a candle over the banisters to light them
508  down, when Mr. Micawber was going first, leading Mrs. Micawber, and
509  Traddles was following with the cap, to detain Traddles for a
510  moment on the top of the stairs.

511       'Traddles,' said I, 'Mr. Micawber don't mean any harm, poor fellow:
512  but, if I were you, I wouldn't lend him anything.'

513       'My dear Copperfield,' returned Traddles, smiling, 'I haven't got
514  anything to lend.'

515       'You have got a name, you know,' said I.

516       'Oh! You call THAT something to lend?' returned Traddles, with a
517  thoughtful look.

518       'Certainly.'

519       'Oh!' said Traddles. 'Yes, to be sure! I am very much obliged to
520  you, Copperfield; but - I am afraid I have lent him that already.'

521       'For the bill that is to be a certain investment?' I inquired.

522       'No,' said Traddles. 'Not for that one. This is the first I have
523  heard of that one. I have been thinking that he will most likely
524  propose that one, on the way home. Mine's another.'

525       'I hope there will be nothing wrong about it,' said I.
526  'I hope not,' said Traddles. 'I should think not, though, because
527  he told me, only the other day, that it was provided for. That was
528  Mr. Micawber's expression, "Provided for."'

529       Mr. Micawber looking up at this juncture to where we were standing,
530  I had only time to repeat my caution. Traddles thanked me, and
531  descended. But I was much afraid, when I observed the good-natured
532  manner in which he went down with the cap in his hand, and gave
533  Mrs. Micawber his arm, that he would be carried into the Money
534  Market neck and heels.

535       I returned to my fireside, and was musing, half gravely and half
536  laughing, on the character of Mr. Micawber and the old relations
537  between us, when I heard a quick step ascending the stairs. At
538  first, I thought it was Traddles coming back for something Mrs.
539  Micawber had left behind; but as the step approached, I knew it,
540  and felt my heart beat high, and the blood rush to my face, for it
541  was Steerforth's.

542       I was never unmindful of Agnes, and she never left that sanctuary
543  in my thoughts - if I may call it so - where I had placed her from
544  the first. But when he entered, and stood before me with his hand
545  out, the darkness that had fallen on him changed to light, and I
546  felt confounded and ashamed of having doubted one I loved so
547  heartily. I loved her none the less; I thought of her as the same
548  benignant, gentle angel in my life; I reproached myself, not her,
549  with having done him an injury; and I would have made him any
550  atonement if I had known what to make, and how to make it.

551       'Why, Daisy, old boy, dumb-foundered!' laughed Steerforth, shaking
552  my hand heartily, and throwing it gaily away. 'Have I detected you
553  in another feast, you Sybarite! These Doctors' Commons fellows are
554  the gayest men in town, I believe, and beat us sober Oxford people
555  all to nothing!' His bright glance went merrily round the room, as
556  he took the seat on the sofa opposite to me, which Mrs. Micawber
557  had recently vacated, and stirred the fire into a blaze.

558       'I was so surprised at first,' said I, giving him welcome with all
559  the cordiality I felt, 'that I had hardly breath to greet you with,
560  Steerforth.'

561       'Well, the sight of me is good for sore eyes, as the Scotch say,'
562  replied Steerforth, 'and so is the sight of you, Daisy, in full
563  bloom. How are you, my Bacchanal?'

564       'I am very well,' said I; 'and not at all Bacchanalian tonight,
565  though I confess to another party of three.'

566       'All of whom I met in the street, talking loud in your praise,'
567  returned Steerforth. 'Who's our friend in the tights?'

568       I gave him the best idea I could, in a few words, of Mr. Micawber.
569  He laughed heartily at my feeble portrait of that gentleman, and
570  said he was a man to know, and he must know him.
571  'But who do you suppose our other friend is?' said I, in my turn.

572       'Heaven knows,' said Steerforth. 'Not a bore, I hope? I thought
573  he looked a little like one.'

574       'Traddles!' I replied, triumphantly.

575       'Who's he?' asked Steerforth, in his careless way.

576       'Don't you remember Traddles? Traddles in our room at Salem
577  House?'

578       'Oh! That fellow!' said Steerforth, beating a lump of coal on the
579  top of the fire, with the poker. 'Is he as soft as ever? And
580  where the deuce did you pick him up?'

581       I extolled Traddles in reply, as highly as I could; for I felt that
582  Steerforth rather slighted him. Steerforth, dismissing the subject
583  with a light nod, and a smile, and the remark that he would be glad
584  to see the old fellow too, for he had always been an odd fish,
585  inquired if I could give him anything to eat? During most of this
586  short dialogue, when he had not been speaking in a wild vivacious
587  manner, he had sat idly beating on the lump of coal with the poker.
588  I observed that he did the same thing while I was getting out the
589  remains of the pigeon-pie, and so forth.

590       'Why, Daisy, here's a supper for a king!' he exclaimed, starting
591  out of his silence with a burst, and taking his seat at the table.
592  'I shall do it justice, for I have come from Yarmouth.'

593       'I thought you came from Oxford?' I returned.

594       'Not I,' said Steerforth. 'I have been seafaring - better
595  employed.'

596       'Littimer was here today, to inquire for you,' I remarked, 'and I
597  understood him that you were at Oxford; though, now I think of it,
598  he certainly did not say so.'

599       'Littimer is a greater fool than I thought him, to have been
600  inquiring for me at all,' said Steerforth, jovially pouring out a
601  glass of wine, and drinking to me. 'As to understanding him, you
602  are a cleverer fellow than most of us, Daisy, if you can do that.'

603       'That's true, indeed,' said I, moving my chair to the table. 'So
604  you have been at Yarmouth, Steerforth!' interested to know all
605  about it. 'Have you been there long?'

606       'No,' he returned. 'An escapade of a week or so.'

607       'And how are they all? Of course, little Emily is not married
608  yet?'

609       'Not yet. Going to be, I believe - in so many weeks, or months, or
610  something or other. I have not seen much of 'em. By the by'; he
611  laid down his knife and fork, which he had been using with great
612  diligence, and began feeling in his pockets; 'I have a letter for
613  you.'

614       'From whom?'

615       'Why, from your old nurse,' he returned, taking some papers out of
616  his breast pocket. "'J. Steerforth, Esquire, debtor, to The
617  Willing Mind"; that's not it. Patience, and we'll find it
618  presently. Old what's-his-name's in a bad way, and it's about
619  that, I believe.'

620       'Barkis, do you mean?'

621       'Yes!' still feeling in his pockets, and looking over their
622  contents: 'it's all over with poor Barkis, I am afraid. I saw a
623  little apothecary there - surgeon, or whatever he is - who brought
624  your worship into the world. He was mighty learned about the case,
625  to me; but the upshot of his opinion was, that the carrier was
626  making his last journey rather fast. - Put your hand into the
627  breast pocket of my great-coat on the chair yonder, and I think
628  you'll find the letter. Is it there?'

629       'Here it is!' said I.

630       'That's right!'

631       It was from Peggotty; something less legible than usual, and brief.
632  It informed me of her husband's hopeless state, and hinted at his
633  being 'a little nearer' than heretofore, and consequently more
634  difficult to manage for his own comfort. It said nothing of her
635  weariness and watching, and praised him highly. It was written
636  with a plain, unaffected, homely piety that I knew to be genuine,
637  and ended with 'my duty to my ever darling' - meaning myself.

638       While I deciphered it, Steerforth continued to eat and drink.

639       'It's a bad job,' he said, when I had done; 'but the sun sets every
640  day, and people die every minute, and we mustn't be scared by the
641  common lot. If we failed to hold our own, because that equal foot
642  at all men's doors was heard knocking somewhere, every object in
643  this world would slip from us. No! Ride on! Rough-shod if need
644  be, smooth-shod if that will do, but ride on! Ride on over all
645  obstacles, and win the race!'

646       'And win what race?' said I.

647       'The race that one has started in,' said he. 'Ride on!'

648       I noticed, I remember, as he paused, looking at me with his
649  handsome head a little thrown back, and his glass raised in his
650  hand, that, though the freshness of the sea-wind was on his face,
651  and it was ruddy, there were traces in it, made since I last saw
652  it, as if he had applied himself to some habitual strain of the
653  fervent energy which, when roused, was so passionately roused
654  within him. I had it in my thoughts to remonstrate with him upon
655  his desperate way of pursuing any fancy that he took - such as this
656  buffeting of rough seas, and braving of hard weather, for example
657  - when my mind glanced off to the immediate subject of our
658  conversation again, and pursued that instead.

659       'I tell you what, Steerforth,' said I, 'if your high spirits will
660  listen to me -'

661       'They are potent spirits, and will do whatever you like,' he
662  answered, moving from the table to the fireside again.

663       'Then I tell you what, Steerforth. I think I will go down and see
664  my old nurse. It is not that I can do her any good, or render her
665  any real service; but she is so attached to me that my visit will
666  have as much effect on her, as if I could do both. She will take
667  it so kindly that it will be a comfort and support to her. It is
668  no great effort to make, I am sure, for such a friend as she has
669  been to me. Wouldn't you go a day's journey, if you were in my
670  place?'

671       His face was thoughtful, and he sat considering a little before he
672  answered, in a low voice, 'Well! Go. You can do no harm.'

673       'You have just come back,' said I, 'and it would be in vain to ask
674  you to go with me?'

675       'Quite,' he returned. 'I am for Highgate tonight. I have not seen
676  my mother this long time, and it lies upon my conscience, for it's
677  something to be loved as she loves her prodigal son. - Bah!
678  Nonsense! - You mean to go tomorrow, I suppose?' he said, holding
679  me out at arm's length, with a hand on each of my shoulders.

680       'Yes, I think so.'

681       'Well, then, don't go till next day. I wanted you to come and stay
682  a few days with us. Here I am, on purpose to bid you, and you fly
683  off to Yarmouth!'

684       'You are a nice fellow to talk of flying off, Steerforth, who are
685  always running wild on some unknown expedition or other!'

686       He looked at me for a moment without speaking, and then rejoined,
687  still holding me as before, and giving me a shake:

688       'Come! Say the next day, and pass as much of tomorrow as you can
689  with us! Who knows when we may meet again, else? Come! Say the
690  next day! I want you to stand between Rosa Dartle and me, and keep
691  us asunder.'

692       'Would you love each other too much, without me?'

693       'Yes; or hate,' laughed Steerforth; 'no matter which. Come! Say
694  the next day!'

695       I said the next day; and he put on his great-coat and lighted his
696  cigar, and set off to walk home. Finding him in this intention, I
697  put on my own great-coat (but did not light my own cigar, having
698  had enough of that for one while) and walked with him as far as the
699  open road: a dull road, then, at night. He was in great spirits
700  all the way; and when we parted, and I looked after him going so
701  gallantly and airily homeward, I thought of his saying, 'Ride on
702  over all obstacles, and win the race!' and wished, for the first
703  time, that he had some worthy race to run.

704       I was undressing in my own room, when Mr. Micawber's letter tumbled
705  on the floor. Thus reminded of it, I broke the seal and read as
706  follows. It was dated an hour and a half before dinner. I am not
707  sure whether I have mentioned that, when Mr. Micawber was at any
708  particularly desperate crisis, he used a sort of legal phraseology,
709  which he seemed to think equivalent to winding up his affairs.

710       'SIR - for I dare not say my dear Copperfield,

711       'It is expedient that I should inform you that the undersigned is
712  Crushed. Some flickering efforts to spare you the premature
713  knowledge of his calamitous position, you may observe in him this
714  day; but hope has sunk beneath the horizon, and the undersigned is
715  Crushed.

716       'The present communication is penned within the personal range (I
717  cannot call it the society) of an individual, in a state closely
718  bordering on intoxication, employed by a broker. That individual
719  is in legal possession of the premises, under a distress for rent.
720  His inventory includes, not only the chattels and effects of every
721  description belonging to the undersigned, as yearly tenant of this
722  habitation, but also those appertaining to Mr. Thomas Traddles,
723  lodger, a member of the Honourable Society of the Inner Temple.

724       'If any drop of gloom were wanting in the overflowing cup, which is
725  now "commended" (in the language of an immortal Writer) to the lips
726  of the undersigned, it would be found in the fact, that a friendly
727  acceptance granted to the undersigned, by the before-mentioned Mr.
728  Thomas Traddles, for the sum Of 23l 4s 9 1/2d is over due, and is
729  NOT provided for. Also, in the fact that the living
730  responsibilities clinging to the undersigned will, in the course of
731  nature, be increased by the sum of one more helpless victim; whose
732  miserable appearance may be looked for - in round numbers - at the
733  expiration of a period not exceeding six lunar months from the
734  present date.

735       'After premising thus much, it would be a work of supererogation to
736  add, that dust and ashes are for ever scattered

737       

'On

738       

'The

739       

'Head

740       

'Of

741       

'WILKINS MICAWBER.'

742       Poor Traddles! I knew enough of Mr. Micawber by this time, to
743  foresee that he might be expected to recover the blow; but my
744  night's rest was sorely distressed by thoughts of Traddles, and of
745  the curate's daughter, who was one of ten, down in Devonshire, and
746  who was such a dear girl, and who would wait for Traddles (ominous
747  praise!) until she was sixty, or any age that could be mentioned.

Previous: Chapter 27 | Next: Chapter 29

Return:    Contents