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| 1 | Steerforth and I stayed for more than a fortnight in that part of
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| 2 | the country. We were very much together, I need not say; but
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| 3 | occasionally we were asunder for some hours at a time. He was a
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| 4 | good sailor, and I was but an indifferent one; and when he went out
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| 5 | boating with Mr. Peggotty, which was a favourite amusement of his,
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| 6 | I generally remained ashore. My occupation of Peggotty's
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| 7 | spare-room put a constraint upon me, from which he was free: for,
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| 8 | knowing how assiduously she attended on Mr. Barkis all day, I did
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| 9 | not like to remain out late at night; whereas Steerforth, lying at
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| 10 | the Inn, had nothing to consult but his own humour. Thus it came
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| 11 | about, that I heard of his making little treats for the fishermen
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| 12 | at Mr. Peggotty's house of call, 'The Willing Mind', after I was in
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| 13 | bed, and of his being afloat, wrapped in fishermen's clothes, whole
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| 14 | moonlight nights, and coming back when the morning tide was at
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| 15 | flood. By this time, however, I knew that his restless nature and
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| 16 | bold spirits delighted to find a vent in rough toil and hard
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| 17 | weather, as in any other means of excitement that presented itself
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| 18 | freshly to him; so none of his proceedings surprised me.
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| 19 | Another cause of our being sometimes apart, was, that I had
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| 20 | naturally an interest in going over to Blunderstone, and revisiting
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| 21 | the old familiar scenes of my childhood; while Steerforth, after
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| 22 | being there once, had naturally no great interest in going there
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| 23 | again. Hence, on three or four days that I can at once recall, we
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| 24 | went our several ways after an early breakfast, and met again at a
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| 25 | late dinner. I had no idea how he employed his time in the
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| 26 | interval, beyond a general knowledge that he was very popular in
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| 27 | the place, and had twenty means of actively diverting himself where
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| 28 | another man might not have found one.
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| 29 | For my own part, my occupation in my solitary pilgrimages was to
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| 30 | recall every yard of the old road as I went along it, and to haunt
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| 31 | the old spots, of which I never tired. I haunted them, as my
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| 32 | memory had often done, and lingered among them as my younger
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| 33 | thoughts had lingered when I was far away. The grave beneath the
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| 34 | tree, where both my parents lay - on which I had looked out, when
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| 35 | it was my father's only, with such curious feelings of compassion,
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| 36 | and by which I had stood, so desolate, when it was opened to
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| 37 | receive my pretty mother and her baby - the grave which Peggotty's
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| 38 | own faithful care had ever since kept neat, and made a garden of,
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| 39 | I walked near, by the hour. It lay a little off the churchyard
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| 40 | path, in a quiet corner, not so far removed but I could read the
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| 41 | names upon the stone as I walked to and fro, startled by the sound
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| 42 | of the church-bell when it struck the hour, for it was like a
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| 43 | departed voice to me. My reflections at these times were always
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| 44 | associated with the figure I was to make in life, and the
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| 45 | distinguished things I was to do. My echoing footsteps went to no
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| 46 | other tune, but were as constant to that as if I had come home to
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| 47 | build my castles in the air at a living mother's side.
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| 48 | There were great changes in my old home. The ragged nests, so long
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| 49 | deserted by the rooks, were gone; and the trees were lopped and
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| 50 | topped out of their remembered shapes. The garden had run wild,
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| 51 | and half the windows of the house were shut up. It was occupied,
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| 52 | but only by a poor lunatic gentleman, and the people who took care
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| 53 | of him. He was always sitting at my little window, looking out
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| 54 | into the churchyard; and I wondered whether his rambling thoughts
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| 55 | ever went upon any of the fancies that used to occupy mine, on the
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| 56 | rosy mornings when I peeped out of that same little window in my
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| 57 | night-clothes, and saw the sheep quietly feeding in the light of
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| 58 | the rising sun.
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| 59 | Our old neighbours, Mr. and Mrs. Grayper, were gone to South
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| 60 | America, and the rain had made its way through the roof of their
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| 61 | empty house, and stained the outer walls. Mr. Chillip was married
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| 62 | again to a tall, raw-boned, high-nosed wife; and they had a weazen
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| 63 | little baby, with a heavy head that it couldn't hold up, and two
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| 64 | weak staring eyes, with which it seemed to be always wondering why
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| 65 | it had ever been born.
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| 66 | It was with a singular jumble of sadness and pleasure that I used
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| 67 | to linger about my native place, until the reddening winter sun
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| 68 | admonished me that it was time to start on my returning walk. But,
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| 69 | when the place was left behind, and especially when Steerforth and
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| 70 | I were happily seated over our dinner by a blazing fire, it was
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| 71 | delicious to think of having been there. So it was, though in a
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| 72 | softened degree, when I went to my neat room at night; and, turning
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| 73 | over the leaves of the crocodile-book (which was always there, upon
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| 74 | a little table), remembered with a grateful heart how blest I was
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| 75 | in having such a friend as Steerforth, such a friend as Peggotty,
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| 76 | and such a substitute for what I had lost as my excellent and
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| 77 | generous aunt.
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| 78 | MY nearest way to Yarmouth, in coming back from these long walks,
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| 79 | was by a ferry. It landed me on the flat between the town and the
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| 80 | sea, which I could make straight across, and so save myself a
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| 81 | considerable circuit by the high road. Mr. Peggotty's house being
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| 82 | on that waste-place, and not a hundred yards out of my track, I
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| 83 | always looked in as I went by. Steerforth was pretty sure to be
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| 84 | there expecting me, and we went on together through the frosty air
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| 85 | and gathering fog towards the twinkling lights of the town.
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| 86 | One dark evening, when I was later than usual - for I had, that
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| 87 | day, been making my parting visit to Blunderstone, as we were now
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| 88 | about to return home - I found him alone in Mr. Peggotty's house,
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| 89 | sitting thoughtfully before the fire. He was so intent upon his
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| 90 | own reflections that he was quite unconscious of my approach.
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| 91 | This, indeed, he might easily have been if he had been less
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| 92 | absorbed, for footsteps fell noiselessly on the sandy ground
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| 93 | outside; but even my entrance failed to rouse him. I was standing
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| 94 | close to him, looking at him; and still, with a heavy brow, he was
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| 95 | lost in his meditations.
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| 96 | He gave such a start when I put my hand upon his shoulder, that he
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| 97 | made me start too.
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| 98 | 'You come upon me,' he said, almost angrily, 'like a reproachful
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| 99 | ghost!'
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| 100 | 'I was obliged to announce myself, somehow,' I replied. 'Have I
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| 101 | called you down from the stars?'
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| 102 | 'No,' he answered. 'No.'
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| 103 | 'Up from anywhere, then?' said I, taking my seat near him.
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| 104 | 'I was looking at the pictures in the fire,' he returned.
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| 105 | 'But you are spoiling them for me,' said I, as he stirred it
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| 106 | quickly with a piece of burning wood, striking out of it a train of
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| 107 | red-hot sparks that went careering up the little chimney, and
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| 108 | roaring out into the air.
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| 109 | 'You would not have seen them,' he returned. 'I detest this
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| 110 | mongrel time, neither day nor night. How late you are! Where have
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| 111 | you been?'
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| 112 | 'I have been taking leave of my usual walk,' said I.
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| 113 | 'And I have been sitting here,' said Steerforth, glancing round the
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| 114 | room, 'thinking that all the people we found so glad on the night
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| 115 | of our coming down, might - to judge from the present wasted air of
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| 116 | the place - be dispersed, or dead, or come to I don't know what
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| 117 | harm. David, I wish to God I had had a judicious father these last
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| 118 | twenty years!'
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| 119 | 'My dear Steerforth, what is the matter?'
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| 120 | 'I wish with all my soul I had been better guided!' he exclaimed.
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| 121 | 'I wish with all my soul I could guide myself better!'
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| 122 | There was a passionate dejection in his manner that quite amazed
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| 123 | me. He was more unlike himself than I could have supposed
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| 124 | possible.
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| 125 | 'It would be better to be this poor Peggotty, or his lout of a
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| 126 | nephew,' he said, getting up and leaning moodily against the
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| 127 | chimney-piece, with his face towards the fire, 'than to be myself,
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| 128 | twenty times richer and twenty times wiser, and be the torment to
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| 129 | myself that I have been, in this Devil's bark of a boat, within the
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| 130 | last half-hour!'
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| 131 | I was so confounded by the alteration in him, that at first I could
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| 132 | only observe him in silence, as he stood leaning his head upon his
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| 133 | hand, and looking gloomily down at the fire. At length I begged
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| 134 | him, with all the earnestness I felt, to tell me what had occurred
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| 135 | to cross him so unusually, and to let me sympathize with him, if I
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| 136 | could not hope to advise him. Before I had well concluded, he
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| 137 | began to laugh - fretfully at first, but soon with returning
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| 138 | gaiety.
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| 139 | 'Tut, it's nothing, Daisy! nothing!' he replied. 'I told you at
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| 140 | the inn in London, I am heavy company for myself, sometimes. I
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| 141 | have been a nightmare to myself, just now - must have had one, I
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| 142 | think. At odd dull times, nursery tales come up into the memory,
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| 143 | unrecognized for what they are. I believe I have been confounding
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| 144 | myself with the bad boy who "didn't care", and became food for
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| 145 | lions - a grander kind of going to the dogs, I suppose. What old
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| 146 | women call the horrors, have been creeping over me from head to
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| 147 | foot. I have been afraid of myself.'
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| 148 | 'You are afraid of nothing else, I think,' said I.
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| 149 | 'Perhaps not, and yet may have enough to be afraid of too,' he
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| 150 | answered. 'Well! So it goes by! I am not about to be hipped
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| 151 | again, David; but I tell you, my good fellow, once more, that it
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| 152 | would have been well for me (and for more than me) if I had had a
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| 153 | steadfast and judicious father!'
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| 154 | His face was always full of expression, but I never saw it express
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| 155 | such a dark kind of earnestness as when he said these words, with
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| 156 | his glance bent on the fire.
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| 157 | 'So much for that!' he said, making as if he tossed something light
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| 158 | into the air, with his hand. "'Why, being gone, I am a man again,"
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| 159 | like Macbeth. And now for dinner! If I have not (Macbeth-like)
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| 160 | broken up the feast with most admired disorder, Daisy.'
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| 161 | 'But where are they all, I wonder!' said I.
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| 162 | 'God knows,' said Steerforth. 'After strolling to the ferry
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| 163 | looking for you, I strolled in here and found the place deserted.
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| 164 | That set me thinking, and you found me thinking.'
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| 165 | The advent of Mrs. Gummidge with a basket, explained how the house
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| 166 | had happened to be empty. She had hurried out to buy something
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| 167 | that was needed, against Mr. Peggotty's return with the tide; and
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| 168 | had left the door open in the meanwhile, lest Ham and little Em'ly,
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| 169 | with whom it was an early night, should come home while she was
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| 170 | gone. Steerforth, after very much improving Mrs. Gummidge's
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| 171 | spirits by a cheerful salutation and a jocose embrace, took my arm,
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| 172 | and hurried me away.
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| 173 | He had improved his own spirits, no less than Mrs. Gummidge's, for
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| 174 | they were again at their usual flow, and he was full of vivacious
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| 175 | conversation as we went along.
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| 176 | 'And so,' he said, gaily, 'we abandon this buccaneer life tomorrow,
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| 177 | do we?'
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| 178 | 'So we agreed,' I returned. 'And our places by the coach are
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| 179 | taken, you know.'
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| 180 | 'Ay! there's no help for it, I suppose,' said Steerforth. 'I have
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| 181 | almost forgotten that there is anything to do in the world but to
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| 182 | go out tossing on the sea here. I wish there was not.'
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| 183 | 'As long as the novelty should last,' said I, laughing.
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| 184 | 'Like enough,' he returned; 'though there's a sarcastic meaning in
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| 185 | that observation for an amiable piece of innocence like my young
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| 186 | friend. Well! I dare say I am a capricious fellow, David. I know
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| 187 | I am; but while the iron is hot, I can strike it vigorously too.
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| 188 | I could pass a reasonably good examination already, as a pilot in
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| 189 | these waters, I think.'
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| 190 | 'Mr. Peggotty says you are a wonder,' I returned.
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| 191 | 'A nautical phenomenon, eh?' laughed Steerforth.
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| 192 | 'Indeed he does, and you know how truly; I know how ardent you are
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| 193 | in any pursuit you follow, and how easily you can master it. And
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| 194 | that amazes me most in you, Steerforth- that you should be
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| 195 | contented with such fitful uses of your powers.'
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| 196 | 'Contented?' he answered, merrily. 'I am never contented, except
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| 197 | with your freshness, my gentle Daisy. As to fitfulness, I have
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| 198 | never learnt the art of binding myself to any of the wheels on
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| 199 | which the Ixions of these days are turning round and round. I
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| 200 | missed it somehow in a bad apprenticeship, and now don't care about
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| 201 | it. - You know I have bought a boat down here?'
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| 202 | 'What an extraordinary fellow you are, Steerforth!' I exclaimed,
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| 203 | stopping - for this was the first I had heard of it. 'When you may
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| 204 | never care to come near the place again!'
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| 205 | 'I don't know that,' he returned. 'I have taken a fancy to the
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| 206 | place. At all events,' walking me briskly on, 'I have bought a
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| 207 | boat that was for sale - a clipper, Mr. Peggotty says; and so she
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| 208 | is - and Mr. Peggotty will be master of her in my absence.'
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| 209 | 'Now I understand you, Steerforth!' said I, exultingly. 'You
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| 210 | pretend to have bought it for yourself, but you have really done so
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| 211 | to confer a benefit on him. I might have known as much at first,
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| 212 | knowing you. My dear kind Steerforth, how can I tell you what I
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| 213 | think of your generosity?'
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| 214 | 'Tush!' he answered, turning red. 'The less said, the better.'
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| 215 | 'Didn't I know?' cried I, 'didn't I say that there was not a joy,
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| 216 | or sorrow, or any emotion of such honest hearts that was
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| 217 | indifferent to you?'
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| 218 | 'Aye, aye,' he answered, 'you told me all that. There let it rest.
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| 219 | We have said enough!'
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| 220 | Afraid of offending him by pursuing the subject when he made so
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| 221 | light of it, I only pursued it in my thoughts as we went on at even
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| 222 | a quicker pace than before.
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| 223 | 'She must be newly rigged,' said Steerforth, 'and I shall leave
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| 224 | Littimer behind to see it done, that I may know she is quite
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| 225 | complete. Did I tell you Littimer had come down?'
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| 226 | ' No.'
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| 227 | 'Oh yes! came down this morning, with a letter from my mother.'
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| 228 | As our looks met, I observed that he was pale even to his lips,
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| 229 | though he looked very steadily at me. I feared that some
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| 230 | difference between him and his mother might have led to his being
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| 231 | in the frame of mind in which I had found him at the solitary
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| 232 | fireside. I hinted so.
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| 233 | 'Oh no!' he said, shaking his head, and giving a slight laugh.
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| 234 | 'Nothing of the sort! Yes. He is come down, that man of mine.'
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| 235 | 'The same as ever?' said I.
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| 236 | 'The same as ever,' said Steerforth. 'Distant and quiet as the
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| 237 | North Pole. He shall see to the boat being fresh named. She's the
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| 238 | "Stormy Petrel" now. What does Mr. Peggotty care for Stormy
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| 239 | Petrels! I'll have her christened again.'
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| 240 | 'By what name?' I asked.
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| 241 | 'The "Little Em'ly".'
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| 242 | As he had continued to look steadily at me, I took it as a reminder
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| 243 | that he objected to being extolled for his consideration. I could
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| 244 | not help showing in my face how much it pleased me, but I said
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| 245 | little, and he resumed his usual smile, and seemed relieved.
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| 246 | 'But see here,' he said, looking before us, 'where the original
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| 247 | little Em'ly comes! And that fellow with her, eh? Upon my soul,
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| 248 | he's a true knight. He never leaves her!'
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| 249 | Ham was a boat-builder in these days, having improved a natural
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| 250 | ingenuity in that handicraft, until he had become a skilled
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| 251 | workman. He was in his working-dress, and looked rugged enough,
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| 252 | but manly withal, and a very fit protector for the blooming little
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| 253 | creature at his side. Indeed, there was a frankness in his face,
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| 254 | an honesty, and an undisguised show of his pride in her, and his
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| 255 | love for her, which were, to me, the best of good looks. I
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| 256 | thought, as they came towards us, that they were well matched even
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| 257 | in that particular.
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| 258 | She withdrew her hand timidly from his arm as we stopped to speak
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| 259 | to them, and blushed as she gave it to Steerforth and to me. When
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| 260 | they passed on, after we had exchanged a few words, she did not
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| 261 | like to replace that hand, but, still appearing timid and
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| 262 | constrained, walked by herself. I thought all this very pretty and
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| 263 | engaging, and Steerforth seemed to think so too, as we looked after
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| 264 | them fading away in the light of a young moon.
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| 265 | Suddenly there passed us - evidently following them - a young woman
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| 266 | whose approach we had not observed, but whose face I saw as she
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| 267 | went by, and thought I had a faint remembrance of. She was lightly
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| 268 | dressed; looked bold, and haggard, and flaunting, and poor; but
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| 269 | seemed, for the time, to have given all that to the wind which was
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| 270 | blowing, and to have nothing in her mind but going after them. As
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| 271 | the dark distant level, absorbing their figures into itself, left
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| 272 | but itself visible between us and the sea and clouds, her figure
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| 273 | disappeared in like manner, still no nearer to them than before.
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| 274 | 'That is a black shadow to be following the girl,' said Steerforth,
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| 275 | standing still; 'what does it mean?'
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| 276 | He spoke in a low voice that sounded almost strange to Me.
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| 277 | 'She must have it in her mind to beg of them, I think,' said I.
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| 278 | 'A beggar would be no novelty,' said Steerforth; 'but it is a
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| 279 | strange thing that the beggar should take that shape tonight.'
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| 280 | 'Why?' I asked.
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| 281 | 'For no better reason, truly, than because I was thinking,' he
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| 282 | said, after a pause, 'of something like it, when it came by. Where
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| 283 | the Devil did it come from, I wonder!'
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| 284 | 'From the shadow of this wall, I think,' said I, as we emerged upon
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| 285 | a road on which a wall abutted.
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| 286 | 'It's gone!' he returned, looking over his shoulder. 'And all ill
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| 287 | go with it. Now for our dinner!'
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| 288 | But he looked again over his shoulder towards the sea-line
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| 289 | glimmering afar off, and yet again. And he wondered about it, in
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| 290 | some broken expressions, several times, in the short remainder of
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| 291 | our walk; and only seemed to forget it when the light of fire and
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| 292 | candle shone upon us, seated warm and merry, at table.
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| 293 | Littimer was there, and had his usual effect upon me. When I said
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| 294 | to him that I hoped Mrs. Steerforth and Miss Dartle were well, he
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| 295 | answered respectfully (and of course respectably), that they were
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| 296 | tolerably well, he thanked me, and had sent their compliments.
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| 297 | This was all, and yet he seemed to me to say as plainly as a man
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| 298 | could say: 'You are very young, sir; you are exceedingly young.'
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| 299 | We had almost finished dinner, when taking a step or two towards
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| 300 | the table, from the corner where he kept watch upon us, or rather
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| 301 | upon me, as I felt, he said to his master:
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| 302 | 'I beg your pardon, sir. Miss Mowcher is down here.'
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| 303 | 'Who?' cried Steerforth, much astonished.
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| 304 | 'Miss Mowcher, sir.'
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| 305 | 'Why, what on earth does she do here?' said Steerforth.
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| 306 | 'It appears to be her native part of the country, sir. She informs
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| 307 | me that she makes one of her professional visits here, every year,
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| 308 | sir. I met her in the street this afternoon, and she wished to
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| 309 | know if she might have the honour of waiting on you after dinner,
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| 310 | sir.'
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| 311 | 'Do you know the Giantess in question, Daisy?' inquired Steerforth.
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| 312 | I was obliged to confess - I felt ashamed, even of being at this
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| 313 | disadvantage before Littimer - that Miss Mowcher and I were wholly
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| 314 | unacquainted.
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| 315 | 'Then you shall know her,' said Steerforth, 'for she is one of the
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| 316 | seven wonders of the world. When Miss Mowcher comes, show her in.'
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| 317 | I felt some curiosity and excitement about this lady, especially as
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| 318 | Steerforth burst into a fit of laughing when I referred to her, and
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| 319 | positively refused to answer any question of which I made her the
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| 320 | subject. I remained, therefore, in a state of considerable
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| 321 | expectation until the cloth had been removed some half an hour, and
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| 322 | we were sitting over our decanter of wine before the fire, when the
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| 323 | door opened, and Littimer, with his habitual serenity quite
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| 324 | undisturbed, announced:
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| 325 | 'Miss Mowcher!'
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| 326 | I looked at the doorway and saw nothing. I was still looking at
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| 327 | the doorway, thinking that Miss Mowcher was a long while making her
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| 328 | appearance, when, to my infinite astonishment, there came waddling
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| 329 | round a sofa which stood between me and it, a pursy dwarf, of about
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| 330 | forty or forty-five, with a very large head and face, a pair of
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| 331 | roguish grey eyes, and such extremely little arms, that, to enable
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| 332 | herself to lay a finger archly against her snub nose, as she ogled
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| 333 | Steerforth, she was obliged to meet the finger half-way, and lay
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| 334 | her nose against it. Her chin, which was what is called a double
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| 335 | chin, was so fat that it entirely swallowed up the strings of her
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| 336 | bonnet, bow and all. Throat she had none; waist she had none; legs
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| 337 | she had none, worth mentioning; for though she was more than
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| 338 | full-sized down to where her waist would have been, if she had had
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| 339 | any, and though she terminated, as human beings generally do, in a
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| 340 | pair of feet, she was so short that she stood at a common-sized
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| 341 | chair as at a table, resting a bag she carried on the seat. This
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| 342 | lady - dressed in an off-hand, easy style; bringing her nose and
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| 343 | her forefinger together, with the difficulty I have described;
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| 344 | standing with her head necessarily on one side, and, with one of
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| 345 | her sharp eyes shut up, making an uncommonly knowing face - after
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| 346 | ogling Steerforth for a few moments, broke into a torrent of words.
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| 347 | 'What! My flower!' she pleasantly began, shaking her large head at
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| 348 | him. 'You're there, are you! Oh, you naughty boy, fie for shame,
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| 349 | what do you do so far away from home? Up to mischief, I'll be
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| 350 | bound. Oh, you're a downy fellow, Steerforth, so you are, and I'm
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| 351 | another, ain't I? Ha, ha, ha! You'd have betted a hundred pound
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| 352 | to five, now, that you wouldn't have seen me here, wouldn't you?
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| 353 | Bless you, man alive, I'm everywhere. I'm here and there, and
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| 354 | where not, like the conjurer's half-crown in the lady's
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| 355 | handkercher. Talking of handkerchers - and talking of ladies -
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| 356 | what a comfort you are to your blessed mother, ain't you, my dear
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| 357 | boy, over one of my shoulders, and I don't say which!'
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| 358 | Miss Mowcher untied her bonnet, at this passage of her discourse,
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| 359 | threw back the strings, and sat down, panting, on a footstool in
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| 360 | front of the fire - making a kind of arbour of the dining table,
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| 361 | which spread its mahogany shelter above her head.
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| 362 | 'Oh my stars and what's-their-names!' she went on, clapping a hand
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| 363 | on each of her little knees, and glancing shrewdly at me, 'I'm of
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| 364 | too full a habit, that's the fact, Steerforth. After a flight of
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| 365 | stairs, it gives me as much trouble to draw every breath I want, as
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| 366 | if it was a bucket of water. If you saw me looking out of an upper
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| 367 | window, you'd think I was a fine woman, wouldn't you?'
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| 368 | 'I should think that, wherever I saw you,' replied Steerforth.
|
| 369 | 'Go along, you dog, do!' cried the little creature, making a whisk
|
| 370 | at him with the handkerchief with which she was wiping her face,
|
| 371 | 'and don't be impudent! But I give you my word and honour I was at
|
| 372 | Lady Mithers's last week - THERE'S a woman! How SHE wears! - and
|
| 373 | Mithers himself came into the room where I was waiting for her -
|
| 374 | THERE'S a man! How HE wears! and his wig too, for he's had it
|
| 375 | these ten years - and he went on at that rate in the complimentary
|
| 376 | line, that I began to think I should be obliged to ring the bell.
|
| 377 | Ha! ha! ha! He's a pleasant wretch, but he wants principle.'
|
| 378 | 'What were you doing for Lady Mithers?' asked Steerforth.
|
| 379 | 'That's tellings, my blessed infant,' she retorted, tapping her
|
| 380 | nose again, screwing up her face, and twinkling her eyes like an
|
| 381 | imp of supernatural intelligence. 'Never YOU mind! You'd like to
|
| 382 | know whether I stop her hair from falling off, or dye it, or touch
|
| 383 | up her complexion, or improve her eyebrows, wouldn't you? And so
|
| 384 | you shall, my darling - when I tell you! Do you know what my great
|
| 385 | grandfather's name was?'
|
| 386 | 'No,' said Steerforth.
|
| 387 | 'It was Walker, my sweet pet,' replied Miss Mowcher, 'and he came
|
| 388 | of a long line of Walkers, that I inherit all the Hookey estates
|
| 389 | from.'
|
| 390 | I never beheld anything approaching to Miss Mowcher's wink except
|
| 391 | Miss Mowcher's self-possession. She had a wonderful way too, when
|
| 392 | listening to what was said to her, or when waiting for an answer to
|
| 393 | what she had said herself, of pausing with her head cunningly on
|
| 394 | one side, and one eye turned up like a magpie's. Altogether I was
|
| 395 | lost in amazement, and sat staring at her, quite oblivious, I am
|
| 396 | afraid, of the laws of politeness.
|
| 397 | She had by this time drawn the chair to her side, and was busily
|
| 398 | engaged in producing from the bag (plunging in her short arm to the
|
| 399 | shoulder, at every dive) a number of small bottles, sponges, combs,
|
| 400 | brushes, bits of flannel, little pairs of curling-irons, and other
|
| 401 | instruments, which she tumbled in a heap upon the chair. From this
|
| 402 | employment she suddenly desisted, and said to Steerforth, much to
|
| 403 | my confusion:
|
| 404 | 'Who's your friend?'
|
| 405 | 'Mr. Copperfield,' said Steerforth; 'he wants to know you.'
|
| 406 | 'Well, then, he shall! I thought he looked as if he did!' returned
|
| 407 | Miss Mowcher, waddling up to me, bag in hand, and laughing on me as
|
| 408 | she came. 'Face like a peach!' standing on tiptoe to pinch my
|
| 409 | cheek as I sat. 'Quite tempting! I'm very fond of peaches. Happy
|
| 410 | to make your acquaintance, Mr. Copperfield, I'm sure.'
|
| 411 | I said that I congratulated myself on having the honour to make
|
| 412 | hers, and that the happiness was mutual.
|
| 413 | 'Oh, my goodness, how polite we are!' exclaimed Miss Mowcher,
|
| 414 | making a preposterous attempt to cover her large face with her
|
| 415 | morsel of a hand. 'What a world of gammon and spinnage it is,
|
| 416 | though, ain't it!'
|
| 417 | This was addressed confidentially to both of us, as the morsel of
|
| 418 | a hand came away from the face, and buried itself, arm and all, in
|
| 419 | the bag again.
|
| 420 | 'What do you mean, Miss Mowcher?' said Steerforth.
|
| 421 | 'Ha! ha! ha! What a refreshing set of humbugs we are, to be sure,
|
| 422 | ain't we, my sweet child?' replied that morsel of a woman, feeling
|
| 423 | in the bag with her head on one side and her eye in the air. 'Look
|
| 424 | here!' taking something out. 'Scraps of the Russian Prince's
|
| 425 | nails. Prince Alphabet turned topsy-turvy, I call him, for his
|
| 426 | name's got all the letters in it, higgledy-piggledy.'
|
| 427 | 'The Russian Prince is a client of yours, is he?' said Steerforth.
|
| 428 | 'I believe you, my pet,' replied Miss Mowcher. 'I keep his nails
|
| 429 | in order for him. Twice a week! Fingers and toes.'
|
| 430 | 'He pays well, I hope?' said Steerforth.
|
| 431 | 'Pays, as he speaks, my dear child - through the nose,' replied
|
| 432 | Miss Mowcher. 'None of your close shavers the Prince ain't. You'd
|
| 433 | say so, if you saw his moustachios. Red by nature, black by art.'
|
| 434 | 'By your art, of course,' said Steerforth.
|
| 435 | Miss Mowcher winked assent. 'Forced to send for me. Couldn't help
|
| 436 | it. The climate affected his dye; it did very well in Russia, but
|
| 437 | it was no go here. You never saw such a rusty Prince in all your
|
| 438 | born days as he was. Like old iron!'
|
| 439 | 'Is that why you called him a humbug, just now?' inquired
|
| 440 | Steerforth.
|
| 441 | 'Oh, you're a broth of a boy, ain't you?' returned Miss Mowcher,
|
| 442 | shaking her head violently. 'I said, what a set of humbugs we were
|
| 443 | in general, and I showed you the scraps of the Prince's nails to
|
| 444 | prove it. The Prince's nails do more for me in private families of
|
| 445 | the genteel sort, than all my talents put together. I always carry
|
| 446 | 'em about. They're the best introduction. If Miss Mowcher cuts
|
| 447 | the Prince's nails, she must be all right. I give 'em away to the
|
| 448 | young ladies. They put 'em in albums, I believe. Ha! ha! ha!
|
| 449 | Upon my life, "the whole social system" (as the men call it when
|
| 450 | they make speeches in Parliament) is a system of Prince's nails!'
|
| 451 | said this least of women, trying to fold her short arms, and
|
| 452 | nodding her large head.
|
| 453 | Steerforth laughed heartily, and I laughed too. Miss Mowcher
|
| 454 | continuing all the time to shake her head (which was very much on
|
| 455 | one side), and to look into the air with one eye, and to wink with
|
| 456 | the other.
|
| 457 | 'Well, well!' she said, smiting her small knees, and rising, 'this
|
| 458 | is not business. Come, Steerforth, let's explore the polar
|
| 459 | regions, and have it over.'
|
| 460 | She then selected two or three of the little instruments, and a
|
| 461 | little bottle, and asked (to my surprise) if the table would bear.
|
| 462 | On Steerforth's replying in the affirmative, she pushed a chair
|
| 463 | against it, and begging the assistance of my hand, mounted up,
|
| 464 | pretty nimbly, to the top, as if it were a stage.
|
| 465 | 'If either of you saw my ankles,' she said, when she was safely
|
| 466 | elevated, 'say so, and I'll go home and destroy myself!'
|
| 467 | 'I did not,' said Steerforth.
|
| 468 | 'I did not,' said I.
|
| 469 | 'Well then,' cried Miss Mowcher,' I'll consent to live. Now,
|
| 470 | ducky, ducky, ducky, come to Mrs. Bond and be killed.'
|
| 471 | This was an invocation to Steerforth to place himself under her
|
| 472 | hands; who, accordingly, sat himself down, with his back to the
|
| 473 | table, and his laughing face towards me, and submitted his head to
|
| 474 | her inspection, evidently for no other purpose than our
|
| 475 | entertainment. To see Miss Mowcher standing over him, looking at
|
| 476 | his rich profusion of brown hair through a large round magnifying
|
| 477 | glass, which she took out of her pocket, was a most amazing
|
| 478 | spectacle.
|
| 479 | 'You're a pretty fellow!' said Miss Mowcher, after a brief
|
| 480 | inspection. 'You'd be as bald as a friar on the top of your head
|
| 481 | in twelve months, but for me. just half a minute, my young friend,
|
| 482 | and we'll give you a polishing that shall keep your curls on for
|
| 483 | the next ten years!'
|
| 484 | With this, she tilted some of the contents of the little bottle on
|
| 485 | to one of the little bits of flannel, and, again imparting some of
|
| 486 | the virtues of that preparation to one of the little brushes, began
|
| 487 | rubbing and scraping away with both on the crown of Steerforth's
|
| 488 | head in the busiest manner I ever witnessed, talking all the time.
|
| 489 | 'There's Charley Pyegrave, the duke's son,' she said. 'You know
|
| 490 | Charley?' peeping round into his face.
|
| 491 | 'A little,' said Steerforth.
|
| 492 | 'What a man HE is! THERE'S a whisker! As to Charley's legs, if
|
| 493 | they were only a pair (which they ain't), they'd defy competition.
|
| 494 | Would you believe he tried to do without me - in the Life-Guards,
|
| 495 | too?'
|
| 496 | 'Mad!' said Steerforth.
|
| 497 | 'It looks like it. However, mad or sane, he tried,' returned Miss
|
| 498 | Mowcher. 'What does he do, but, lo and behold you, he goes into a
|
| 499 | perfumer's shop, and wants to buy a bottle of the Madagascar
|
| 500 | Liquid.'
|
| 501 | 'Charley does?' said Steerforth.
|
| 502 | 'Charley does. But they haven't got any of the Madagascar Liquid.'
|
| 503 | 'What is it? Something to drink?' asked Steerforth.
|
| 504 | 'To drink?' returned Miss Mowcher, stopping to slap his cheek. 'To
|
| 505 | doctor his own moustachios with, you know. There was a woman in
|
| 506 | the shop - elderly female - quite a Griffin - who had never even
|
| 507 | heard of it by name. "Begging pardon, sir," said the Griffin to
|
| 508 | Charley, "it's not - not - not ROUGE, is it?" "Rouge," said
|
| 509 | Charley to the Griffin. "What the unmentionable to ears polite, do
|
| 510 | you think I want with rouge?" "No offence, sir," said the Griffin;
|
| 511 | "we have it asked for by so many names, I thought it might be." Now
|
| 512 | that, my child,' continued Miss Mowcher, rubbing all the time as
|
| 513 | busily as ever, 'is another instance of the refreshing humbug I was
|
| 514 | speaking of. I do something in that way myself - perhaps a good
|
| 515 | deal - perhaps a little - sharp's the word, my dear boy - never
|
| 516 | mind!'
|
| 517 | 'In what way do you mean? In the rouge way?' said Steerforth.
|
| 518 | 'Put this and that together, my tender pupil,' returned the wary
|
| 519 | Mowcher, touching her nose, 'work it by the rule of Secrets in all
|
| 520 | trades, and the product will give you the desired result. I say I
|
| 521 | do a little in that way myself. One Dowager, SHE calls it
|
| 522 | lip-salve. Another, SHE calls it gloves. Another, SHE calls it
|
| 523 | tucker-edging. Another, SHE calls it a fan. I call it whatever
|
| 524 | THEY call it. I supply it for 'em, but we keep up the trick so, to
|
| 525 | one another, and make believe with such a face, that they'd as soon
|
| 526 | think of laying it on, before a whole drawing-room, as before me.
|
| 527 | And when I wait upon 'em, they'll say to me sometimes - WITH IT ON
|
| 528 | - thick, and no mistake - "How am I looking, Mowcher? Am I pale?"
|
| 529 | Ha! ha! ha! ha! Isn't THAT refreshing, my young friend!'
|
| 530 | I never did in my days behold anything like Mowcher as she stood
|
| 531 | upon the dining table, intensely enjoying this refreshment, rubbing
|
| 532 | busily at Steerforth's head, and winking at me over it.
|
| 533 | 'Ah!' she said. 'Such things are not much in demand hereabouts.
|
| 534 | That sets me off again! I haven't seen a pretty woman since I've
|
| 535 | been here, jemmy.'
|
| 536 | 'No?' said Steerforth.
|
| 537 | 'Not the ghost of one,' replied Miss Mowcher.
|
| 538 | 'We could show her the substance of one, I think?' said Steerforth,
|
| 539 | addressing his eyes to mine. 'Eh, Daisy?'
|
| 540 | 'Yes, indeed,' said I.
|
| 541 | 'Aha?' cried the little creature, glancing sharply at my face, and
|
| 542 | then peeping round at Steerforth's. 'Umph?'
|
| 543 | The first exclamation sounded like a question put to both of us,
|
| 544 | and the second like a question put to Steerforth only. She seemed
|
| 545 | to have found no answer to either, but continued to rub, with her
|
| 546 | head on one side and her eye turned up, as if she were looking for
|
| 547 | an answer in the air and were confident of its appearing presently.
|
| 548 | 'A sister of yours, Mr. Copperfield?' she cried, after a pause, and
|
| 549 | still keeping the same look-out. 'Aye, aye?'
|
| 550 | 'No,' said Steerforth, before I could reply. 'Nothing of the sort.
|
| 551 | On the contrary, Mr. Copperfield used - or I am much mistaken - to
|
| 552 | have a great admiration for her.'
|
| 553 | 'Why, hasn't he now?' returned Miss Mowcher. 'Is he fickle? Oh,
|
| 554 | for shame! Did he sip every flower, and change every hour, until
|
| 555 | Polly his passion requited? - Is her name Polly?'
|
| 556 | The Elfin suddenness with which she pounced upon me with this
|
| 557 | question, and a searching look, quite disconcerted me for a moment.
|
| 558 | 'No, Miss Mowcher,' I replied. 'Her name is Emily.'
|
| 559 | 'Aha?' she cried exactly as before. 'Umph? What a rattle I am!
|
| 560 | Mr. Copperfield, ain't I volatile?'
|
| 561 | Her tone and look implied something that was not agreeable to me in
|
| 562 | connexion with the subject. So I said, in a graver manner than any
|
| 563 | of us had yet assumed:
|
| 564 | 'She is as virtuous as she is pretty. She is engaged to be married
|
| 565 | to a most worthy and deserving man in her own station of life. I
|
| 566 | esteem her for her good sense, as much as I admire her for her good
|
| 567 | looks.'
|
| 568 | 'Well said!' cried Steerforth. 'Hear, hear, hear! Now I'll quench
|
| 569 | the curiosity of this little Fatima, my dear Daisy, by leaving her
|
| 570 | nothing to guess at. She is at present apprenticed, Miss Mowcher,
|
| 571 | or articled, or whatever it may be, to Omer and Joram,
|
| 572 | Haberdashers, Milliners, and so forth, in this town. Do you
|
| 573 | observe? Omer and Joram. The promise of which my friend has
|
| 574 | spoken, is made and entered into with her cousin; Christian name,
|
| 575 | Ham; surname, Peggotty; occupation, boat-builder; also of this
|
| 576 | town. She lives with a relative; Christian name, unknown; surname,
|
| 577 | Peggotty; occupation, seafaring; also of this town. She is the
|
| 578 | prettiest and most engaging little fairy in the world. I admire
|
| 579 | her - as my friend does - exceedingly. If it were not that I might
|
| 580 | appear to disparage her Intended, which I know my friend would not
|
| 581 | like, I would add, that to me she seems to be throwing herself
|
| 582 | away; that I am sure she might do better; and that I swear she was
|
| 583 | born to be a lady.'
|
| 584 | Miss Mowcher listened to these words, which were very slowly and
|
| 585 | distinctly spoken, with her head on one side, and her eye in the
|
| 586 | air as if she were still looking for that answer. When he ceased
|
| 587 | she became brisk again in an instant, and rattled away with
|
| 588 | surprising volubility.
|
| 589 | 'Oh! And that's all about it, is it?' she exclaimed, trimming his
|
| 590 | whiskers with a little restless pair of scissors, that went
|
| 591 | glancing round his head in all directions. 'Very well: very well!
|
| 592 | Quite a long story. Ought to end "and they lived happy ever
|
| 593 | afterwards"; oughtn't it? Ah! What's that game at forfeits? I
|
| 594 | love my love with an E, because she's enticing; I hate her with an
|
| 595 | E, because she's engaged. I took her to the sign of the exquisite,
|
| 596 | and treated her with an elopement, her name's Emily, and she lives
|
| 597 | in the east? Ha! ha! ha! Mr. Copperfield, ain't I volatile?'
|
| 598 | Merely looking at me with extravagant slyness, and not waiting for
|
| 599 | any reply, she continued, without drawing breath:
|
| 600 | 'There! If ever any scapegrace was trimmed and touched up to
|
| 601 | perfection, you are, Steerforth. If I understand any noddle in the
|
| 602 | world, I understand yours. Do you hear me when I tell you that, my
|
| 603 | darling? I understand yours,' peeping down into his face. 'Now
|
| 604 | you may mizzle, jemmy (as we say at Court), and if Mr. Copperfield
|
| 605 | will take the chair I'll operate on him.'
|
| 606 | 'What do you say, Daisy?' inquired Steerforth, laughing, and
|
| 607 | resigning his seat. 'Will you be improved?'
|
| 608 | 'Thank you, Miss Mowcher, not this evening.'
|
| 609 | 'Don't say no,' returned the little woman, looking at me with the
|
| 610 | aspect of a connoisseur; 'a little bit more eyebrow?'
|
| 611 | 'Thank you,' I returned, 'some other time.'
|
| 612 | 'Have it carried half a quarter of an inch towards the temple,'
|
| 613 | said Miss Mowcher. 'We can do it in a fortnight.'
|
| 614 | 'No, I thank you. Not at present.'
|
| 615 | 'Go in for a tip,' she urged. 'No? Let's get the scaffolding up,
|
| 616 | then, for a pair of whiskers. Come!'
|
| 617 | I could not help blushing as I declined, for I felt we were on my
|
| 618 | weak point, now. But Miss Mowcher, finding that I was not at
|
| 619 | present disposed for any decoration within the range of her art,
|
| 620 | and that I was, for the time being, proof against the blandishments
|
| 621 | of the small bottle which she held up before one eye to enforce her
|
| 622 | persuasions, said we would make a beginning on an early day, and
|
| 623 | requested the aid of my hand to descend from her elevated station.
|
| 624 | Thus assisted, she skipped down with much agility, and began to tie
|
| 625 | her double chin into her bonnet.
|
| 626 | 'The fee,' said Steerforth, 'is -'
|
| 627 | 'Five bob,' replied Miss Mowcher, 'and dirt cheap, my chicken.
|
| 628 | Ain't I volatile, Mr. Copperfield?'
|
| 629 | I replied politely: 'Not at all.' But I thought she was rather so,
|
| 630 | when she tossed up his two half-crowns like a goblin pieman, caught
|
| 631 | them, dropped them in her pocket, and gave it a loud slap.
|
| 632 | 'That's the Till!' observed Miss Mowcher, standing at the chair
|
| 633 | again, and replacing in the bag a miscellaneous collection of
|
| 634 | little objects she had emptied out of it. 'Have I got all my
|
| 635 | traps? It seems so. It won't do to be like long Ned Beadwood,
|
| 636 | when they took him to church "to marry him to somebody", as he
|
| 637 | says, and left the bride behind. Ha! ha! ha! A wicked rascal,
|
| 638 | Ned, but droll! Now, I know I'm going to break your hearts, but I
|
| 639 | am forced to leave you. You must call up all your fortitude, and
|
| 640 | try to bear it. Good-bye, Mr. Copperfield! Take care of yourself,
|
| 641 | jockey of Norfolk! How I have been rattling on! It's all the
|
| 642 | fault of you two wretches. I forgive you! "Bob swore!" - as the
|
| 643 | Englishman said for "Good night", when he first learnt French, and
|
| 644 | thought it so like English. "Bob swore," my ducks!'
|
| 645 | With the bag slung over her arm, and rattling as she waddled away,
|
| 646 | she waddled to the door, where she stopped to inquire if she should
|
| 647 | leave us a lock of her hair. 'Ain't I volatile?' she added, as a
|
| 648 | commentary on this offer, and, with her finger on her nose,
|
| 649 | departed.
|
| 650 | Steerforth laughed to that degree, that it was impossible for me to
|
| 651 | help laughing too; though I am not sure I should have done so, but
|
| 652 | for this inducement. When we had had our laugh quite out, which
|
| 653 | was after some time, he told me that Miss Mowcher had quite an
|
| 654 | extensive connexion, and made herself useful to a variety of people
|
| 655 | in a variety of ways. Some people trifled with her as a mere
|
| 656 | oddity, he said; but she was as shrewdly and sharply observant as
|
| 657 | anyone he knew, and as long-headed as she was short-armed. He told
|
| 658 | me that what she had said of being here, and there, and everywhere,
|
| 659 | was true enough; for she made little darts into the provinces, and
|
| 660 | seemed to pick up customers everywhere, and to know everybody. I
|
| 661 | asked him what her disposition was: whether it was at all
|
| 662 | mischievous, and if her sympathies were generally on the right side
|
| 663 | of things: but, not succeeding in attracting his attention to these
|
| 664 | questions after two or three attempts, I forbore or forgot to
|
| 665 | repeat them. He told me instead, with much rapidity, a good deal
|
| 666 | about her skill, and her profits; and about her being a scientific
|
| 667 | cupper, if I should ever have occasion for her service in that
|
| 668 | capacity.
|
| 669 | She was the principal theme of our conversation during the evening:
|
| 670 | and when we parted for the night Steerforth called after me over
|
| 671 | the banisters, 'Bob swore!' as I went downstairs.
|
| 672 | I was surprised, when I came to Mr. Barkis's house, to find Ham
|
| 673 | walking up and down in front of it, and still more surprised to
|
| 674 | learn from him that little Em'ly was inside. I naturally inquired
|
| 675 | why he was not there too, instead of pacing the streets by himself?
|
| 676 | 'Why, you see, Mas'r Davy,' he rejoined, in a hesitating manner,
|
| 677 | 'Em'ly, she's talking to some 'un in here.'
|
| 678 | 'I should have thought,' said I, smiling, 'that that was a reason
|
| 679 | for your being in here too, Ham.'
|
| 680 | 'Well, Mas'r Davy, in a general way, so 't would be,' he returned;
|
| 681 | 'but look'ee here, Mas'r Davy,' lowering his voice, and speaking
|
| 682 | very gravely. 'It's a young woman, sir - a young woman, that Em'ly
|
| 683 | knowed once, and doen't ought to know no more.'
|
| 684 | When I heard these words, a light began to fall upon the figure I
|
| 685 | had seen following them, some hours ago.
|
| 686 | 'It's a poor wurem, Mas'r Davy,' said Ham, 'as is trod under foot
|
| 687 | by all the town. Up street and down street. The mowld o' the
|
| 688 | churchyard don't hold any that the folk shrink away from, more.'
|
| 689 | 'Did I see her tonight, Ham, on the sand, after we met you?'
|
| 690 | 'Keeping us in sight?' said Ham. 'It's like you did, Mas'r Davy.
|
| 691 | Not that I know'd then, she was theer, sir, but along of her
|
| 692 | creeping soon arterwards under Em'ly's little winder, when she see
|
| 693 | the light come, and whispering "Em'ly, Em'ly, for Christ's sake,
|
| 694 | have a woman's heart towards me. I was once like you!" Those was
|
| 695 | solemn words, Mas'r Davy, fur to hear!'
|
| 696 | 'They were indeed, Ham. What did Em'ly do?'
|
| 697 | 'Says Em'ly, "Martha, is it you? Oh, Martha, can it be you?" - for
|
| 698 | they had sat at work together, many a day, at Mr. Omer's.'
|
| 699 | 'I recollect her now!' cried I, recalling one of the two girls I
|
| 700 | had seen when I first went there. 'I recollect her quite well!'
|
| 701 | 'Martha Endell,' said Ham. 'Two or three year older than Em'ly,
|
| 702 | but was at the school with her.'
|
| 703 | 'I never heard her name,' said I. 'I didn't mean to interrupt
|
| 704 | you.'
|
| 705 | 'For the matter o' that, Mas'r Davy,' replied Ham, 'all's told
|
| 706 | a'most in them words, "Em'ly, Em'ly, for Christ's sake, have a
|
| 707 | woman's heart towards me. I was once like you!" She wanted to
|
| 708 | speak to Em'ly. Em'ly couldn't speak to her theer, for her loving
|
| 709 | uncle was come home, and he wouldn't - no, Mas'r Davy,' said Ham,
|
| 710 | with great earnestness, 'he couldn't, kind-natur'd, tender-hearted
|
| 711 | as he is, see them two together, side by side, for all the
|
| 712 | treasures that's wrecked in the sea.'
|
| 713 | I felt how true this was. I knew it, on the instant, quite as well
|
| 714 | as Ham.
|
| 715 | 'So Em'ly writes in pencil on a bit of paper,' he pursued, 'and
|
| 716 | gives it to her out o' winder to bring here. "Show that," she
|
| 717 | says, "to my aunt, Mrs. Barkis, and she'll set you down by her
|
| 718 | fire, for the love of me, till uncle is gone out, and I can come."
|
| 719 | By and by she tells me what I tell you, Mas'r Davy, and asks me to
|
| 720 | bring her. What can I do? She doen't ought to know any such, but
|
| 721 | I can't deny her, when the tears is on her face.'
|
| 722 | He put his hand into the breast of his shaggy jacket, and took out
|
| 723 | with great care a pretty little purse.
|
| 724 | 'And if I could deny her when the tears was on her face, Mas'r
|
| 725 | Davy,' said Ham, tenderly adjusting it on the rough palm of his
|
| 726 | hand, 'how could I deny her when she give me this to carry for her
|
| 727 | - knowing what she brought it for? Such a toy as it is!' said Ham,
|
| 728 | thoughtfully looking on it. 'With such a little money in it, Em'ly
|
| 729 | my dear.'
|
| 730 | I shook him warmly by the hand when he had put it away again - for
|
| 731 | that was more satisfactory to me than saying anything - and we
|
| 732 | walked up and down, for a minute or two, in silence. The door
|
| 733 | opened then, and Peggotty appeared, beckoning to Ham to come in.
|
| 734 | I would have kept away, but she came after me, entreating me to
|
| 735 | come in too. Even then, I would have avoided the room where they
|
| 736 | all were, but for its being the neat-tiled kitchen I have mentioned
|
| 737 | more than once. The door opening immediately into it, I found
|
| 738 | myself among them before I considered whither I was going.
|
| 739 | The girl - the same I had seen upon the sands - was near the fire.
|
| 740 | She was sitting on the ground, with her head and one arm lying on
|
| 741 | a chair. I fancied, from the disposition of her figure, that Em'ly
|
| 742 | had but newly risen from the chair, and that the forlorn head might
|
| 743 | perhaps have been lying on her lap. I saw but little of the girl's
|
| 744 | face, over which her hair fell loose and scattered, as if she had
|
| 745 | been disordering it with her own hands; but I saw that she was
|
| 746 | young, and of a fair complexion. Peggotty had been crying. So had
|
| 747 | little Em'ly. Not a word was spoken when we first went in; and the
|
| 748 | Dutch clock by the dresser seemed, in the silence, to tick twice as
|
| 749 | loud as usual. Em'ly spoke first.
|
| 750 | 'Martha wants,' she said to Ham, 'to go to London.'
|
| 751 | 'Why to London?' returned Ham.
|
| 752 | He stood between them, looking on the prostrate girl with a mixture
|
| 753 | of compassion for her, and of jealousy of her holding any
|
| 754 | companionship with her whom he loved so well, which I have always
|
| 755 | remembered distinctly. They both spoke as if she were ill; in a
|
| 756 | soft, suppressed tone that was plainly heard, although it hardly
|
| 757 | rose above a whisper.
|
| 758 | 'Better there than here,' said a third voice aloud - Martha's,
|
| 759 | though she did not move. 'No one knows me there. Everybody knows
|
| 760 | me here.'
|
| 761 | 'What will she do there?' inquired Ham.
|
| 762 | She lifted up her head, and looked darkly round at him for a
|
| 763 | moment; then laid it down again, and curved her right arm about her
|
| 764 | neck, as a woman in a fever, or in an agony of pain from a shot,
|
| 765 | might twist herself.
|
| 766 | 'She will try to do well,' said little Em'ly. 'You don't know what
|
| 767 | she has said to us. Does he - do they - aunt?'
|
| 768 | Peggotty shook her head compassionately.
|
| 769 | 'I'll try,' said Martha, 'if you'll help me away. I never can do
|
| 770 | worse than I have done here. I may do better. Oh!' with a
|
| 771 | dreadful shiver, 'take me out of these streets, where the whole
|
| 772 | town knows me from a child!'
|
| 773 | As Em'ly held out her hand to Ham, I saw him put in it a little
|
| 774 | canvas bag. She took it, as if she thought it were her purse, and
|
| 775 | made a step or two forward; but finding her mistake, came back to
|
| 776 | where he had retired near me, and showed it to him.
|
| 777 | 'It's all yourn, Em'ly,' I could hear him say. 'I haven't nowt in
|
| 778 | all the wureld that ain't yourn, my dear. It ain't of no delight
|
| 779 | to me, except for you!'
|
| 780 | The tears rose freshly in her eyes, but she turned away and went to
|
| 781 | Martha. What she gave her, I don't know. I saw her stooping over
|
| 782 | her, and putting money in her bosom. She whispered something, as
|
| 783 | she asked was that enough? 'More than enough,' the other said, and
|
| 784 | took her hand and kissed it.
|
| 785 | Then Martha arose, and gathering her shawl about her, covering her
|
| 786 | face with it, and weeping aloud, went slowly to the door. She
|
| 787 | stopped a moment before going out, as if she would have uttered
|
| 788 | something or turned back; but no word passed her lips. Making the
|
| 789 | same low, dreary, wretched moaning in her shawl, she went away.
|
| 790 | As the door closed, little Em'ly looked at us three in a hurried
|
| 791 | manner and then hid her face in her hands, and fell to sobbing.
|
| 792 | 'Doen't, Em'ly!' said Ham, tapping her gently on the shoulder.
|
| 793 | 'Doen't, my dear! You doen't ought to cry so, pretty!'
|
| 794 | 'Oh, Ham!' she exclaimed, still weeping pitifully, 'I am not so
|
| 795 | good a girl as I ought to be! I know I have not the thankful
|
| 796 | heart, sometimes, I ought to have!'
|
| 797 | 'Yes, yes, you have, I'm sure,' said Ham.
|
| 798 | 'No! no! no!' cried little Em'ly, sobbing, and shaking her head.
|
| 799 | 'I am not as good a girl as I ought to be. Not near! not near!'
|
| 800 | And still she cried, as if her heart would break.
|
| 801 | 'I try your love too much. I know I do!' she sobbed. 'I'm often
|
| 802 | cross to you, and changeable with you, when I ought to be far
|
| 803 | different. You are never so to me. Why am I ever so to you, when
|
| 804 | I should think of nothing but how to be grateful, and to make you
|
| 805 | happy!'
|
| 806 | 'You always make me so,' said Ham, 'my dear! I am happy in the
|
| 807 | sight of you. I am happy, all day long, in the thoughts of you.'
|
| 808 | 'Ah! that's not enough!' she cried. 'That is because you are good;
|
| 809 | not because I am! Oh, my dear, it might have been a better fortune
|
| 810 | for you, if you had been fond of someone else - of someone steadier
|
| 811 | and much worthier than me, who was all bound up in you, and never
|
| 812 | vain and changeable like me!'
|
| 813 | 'Poor little tender-heart,' said Ham, in a low voice. 'Martha has
|
| 814 | overset her, altogether.'
|
| 815 | 'Please, aunt,' sobbed Em'ly, 'come here, and let me lay my head
|
| 816 | upon you. Oh, I am very miserable tonight, aunt! Oh, I am not as
|
| 817 | good a girl as I ought to be. I am not, I know!'
|
| 818 | Peggotty had hastened to the chair before the fire. Em'ly, with
|
| 819 | her arms around her neck, kneeled by her, looking up most earnestly
|
| 820 | into her face.
|
| 821 | 'Oh, pray, aunt, try to help me! Ham, dear, try to help me! Mr.
|
| 822 | David, for the sake of old times, do, please, try to help me! I
|
| 823 | want to be a better girl than I am. I want to feel a hundred times
|
| 824 | more thankful than I do. I want to feel more, what a blessed thing
|
| 825 | it is to be the wife of a good man, and to lead a peaceful life.
|
| 826 | Oh me, oh me! Oh my heart, my heart!'
|
| 827 | She dropped her face on my old nurse's breast, and, ceasing this
|
| 828 | supplication, which in its agony and grief was half a woman's, half
|
| 829 | a child's, as all her manner was (being, in that, more natural, and
|
| 830 | better suited to her beauty, as I thought, than any other manner
|
| 831 | could have been), wept silently, while my old nurse hushed her like
|
| 832 | an infant.
|
| 833 | She got calmer by degrees, and then we soothed her; now talking
|
| 834 | encouragingly, and now jesting a little with her, until she began
|
| 835 | to raise her head and speak to us. So we got on, until she was
|
| 836 | able to smile, and then to laugh, and then to sit up, half ashamed;
|
| 837 | while Peggotty recalled her stray ringlets, dried her eyes, and
|
| 838 | made her neat again, lest her uncle should wonder, when she got
|
| 839 | home, why his darling had been crying.
|
| 840 | I saw her do, that night, what I had never seen her do before. I
|
| 841 | saw her innocently kiss her chosen husband on the cheek, and creep
|
| 842 | close to his bluff form as if it were her best support. When they
|
| 843 | went away together, in the waning moonlight, and I looked after
|
| 844 | them, comparing their departure in my mind with Martha's, I saw
|
| 845 | that she held his arm with both her hands, and still kept close to
|
| 846 | him.
|