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Charles Dickens
Chapter 21
Charles Dickens
 
 
1       There was a servant in that house, a man who, I understood, was
2  usually with Steerforth, and had come into his service at the
3  University, who was in appearance a pattern of respectability. I
4  believe there never existed in his station a more
5  respectable-looking man. He was taciturn, soft-footed, very quiet
6  in his manner, deferential, observant, always at hand when wanted,
7  and never near when not wanted; but his great claim to
8  consideration was his respectability. He had not a pliant face, he
9  had rather a stiff neck, rather a tight smooth head with short hair
10  clinging to it at the sides, a soft way of speaking, with a
11  peculiar habit of whispering the letter S so distinctly, that he
12  seemed to use it oftener than any other man; but every peculiarity
13  that he had he made respectable. If his nose had been upside-down,
14  he would have made that respectable. He surrounded himself with an
15  atmosphere of respectability, and walked secure in it. It would
16  have been next to impossible to suspect him of anything wrong, he
17  was so thoroughly respectable. Nobody could have thought of
18  putting him in a livery, he was so highly respectable. To have
19  imposed any derogatory work upon him, would have been to inflict a
20  wanton insult on the feelings of a most respectable man. And of
21  this, I noticed- the women-servants in the household were so
22  intuitively conscious, that they always did such work themselves,
23  and generally while he read the paper by the pantry fire.

24       Such a self-contained man I never saw. But in that quality, as in
25  every other he possessed, he only seemed to be the more
26  respectable. Even the fact that no one knew his Christian name,
27  seemed to form a part of his respectability. Nothing could be
28  objected against his surname, Littimer, by which he was known.
29  Peter might have been hanged, or Tom transported; but Littimer was
30  perfectly respectable.

31       It was occasioned, I suppose, by the reverend nature of
32  respectability in the abstract, but I felt particularly young in
33  this man's presence. How old he was himself, I could not guess -
34  and that again went to his credit on the same score; for in the
35  calmness of respectability he might have numbered fifty years as
36  well as thirty.

37       Littimer was in my room in the morning before I was up, to bring me
38  that reproachful shaving-water, and to put out my clothes. When I
39  undrew the curtains and looked out of bed, I saw him, in an equable
40  temperature of respectability, unaffected by the east wind of
41  January, and not even breathing frostily, standing my boots right
42  and left in the first dancing position, and blowing specks of dust
43  off my coat as he laid it down like a baby.

44       I gave him good morning, and asked him what o'clock it was. He
45  took out of his pocket the most respectable hunting-watch I ever
46  saw, and preventing the spring with his thumb from opening far,
47  looked in at the face as if he were consulting an oracular oyster,
48  shut it up again, and said, if I pleased, it was half past eight.

49       'Mr. Steerforth will be glad to hear how you have rested, sir.'

50       'Thank you,' said I, 'very well indeed. Is Mr. Steerforth quite
51  well?'

52       'Thank you, sir, Mr. Steerforth is tolerably well.' Another of his
53  characteristics - no use of superlatives. A cool calm medium
54  always.

55       'Is there anything more I can have the honour of doing for you,
56  sir? The warning-bell will ring at nine; the family take breakfast
57  at half past nine.'

58       'Nothing, I thank you.'

59       'I thank YOU, sir, if you please'; and with that, and with a little
60  inclination of his head when he passed the bed-side, as an apology
61  for correcting me, he went out, shutting the door as delicately as
62  if I had just fallen into a sweet sleep on which my life depended.

63       Every morning we held exactly this conversation: never any more,
64  and never any less: and yet, invariably, however far I might have
65  been lifted out of myself over-night, and advanced towards maturer
66  years, by Steerforth's companionship, or Mrs. Steerforth's
67  confidence, or Miss Dartle's conversation, in the presence of this
68  most respectable man I became, as our smaller poets sing, 'a boy
69  again'.

70       He got horses for us; and Steerforth, who knew everything, gave me
71  lessons in riding. He provided foils for us, and Steerforth gave
72  me lessons in fencing - gloves, and I began, of the same master, to
73  improve in boxing. It gave me no manner of concern that Steerforth
74  should find me a novice in these sciences, but I never could bear
75  to show my want of skill before the respectable Littimer. I had no
76  reason to believe that Littimer understood such arts himself; he
77  never led me to suppose anything of the kind, by so much as the
78  vibration of one of his respectable eyelashes; yet whenever he was
79  by, while we were practising, I felt myself the greenest and most
80  inexperienced of mortals.

81       I am particular about this man, because he made a particular effect
82  on me at that time, and because of what took place thereafter.

83       The week passed away in a most delightful manner. It passed
84  rapidly, as may be supposed, to one entranced as I was; and yet it
85  gave me so many occasions for knowing Steerforth better, and
86  admiring him more in a thousand respects, that at its close I
87  seemed to have been with him for a much longer time. A dashing way
88  he had of treating me like a plaything, was more agreeable to me
89  than any behaviour he could have adopted. It reminded me of our
90  old acquaintance; it seemed the natural sequel of it; it showed me
91  that he was unchanged; it relieved me of any uneasiness I might
92  have felt, in comparing my merits with his, and measuring my claims
93  upon his friendship by any equal standard; above all, it was a
94  familiar, unrestrained, affectionate demeanour that he used towards
95  no one else. As he had treated me at school differently from all
96  the rest, I joyfully believed that he treated me in life unlike any
97  other friend he had. I believed that I was nearer to his heart
98  than any other friend, and my own heart warmed with attachment to
99  him.
100  He made up his mind to go with me into the country, and the day
101  arrived for our departure. He had been doubtful at first whether
102  to take Littimer or not, but decided to leave him at home. The
103  respectable creature, satisfied with his lot whatever it was,
104  arranged our portmanteaux on the little carriage that was to take
105  us into London, as if they were intended to defy the shocks of
106  ages, and received my modestly proffered donation with perfect
107  tranquillity.

108       We bade adieu to Mrs. Steerforth and Miss Dartle, with many thanks
109  on my part, and much kindness on the devoted mother's. The last
110  thing I saw was Littimer's unruffled eye; fraught, as I fancied,
111  with the silent conviction that I was very young indeed.

112       What I felt, in returning so auspiciously to the old familiar
113  places, I shall not endeavour to describe. We went down by the
114  Mail. I was so concerned, I recollect, even for the honour of
115  Yarmouth, that when Steerforth said, as we drove through its dark
116  streets to the inn, that, as well as he could make out, it was a
117  good, queer, out-of-the-way kind of hole, I was highly pleased. We
118  went to bed on our arrival (I observed a pair of dirty shoes and
119  gaiters in connexion with my old friend the Dolphin as we passed
120  that door), and breakfasted late in the morning. Steerforth, who
121  was in great spirits, had been strolling about the beach before I
122  was up, and had made acquaintance, he said, with half the boatmen
123  in the place. Moreover, he had seen, in the distance, what he was
124  sure must be the identical house of Mr. Peggotty, with smoke coming
125  out of the chimney; and had had a great mind, he told me, to walk
126  in and swear he was myself grown out of knowledge.

127       'When do you propose to introduce me there, Daisy?' he said. 'I am
128  at your disposal. Make your own arrangements.'

129       'Why, I was thinking that this evening would be a good time,
130  Steerforth, when they are all sitting round the fire. I should
131  like you to see it when it's snug, it's such a curious place.'

132       'So be it!' returned Steerforth. 'This evening.'

133       'I shall not give them any notice that we are here, you know,' said
134  I, delighted. 'We must take them by surprise.'

135       'Oh, of course! It's no fun,' said Steerforth, 'unless we take
136  them by surprise. Let us see the natives in their aboriginal
137  condition.'

138       'Though they ARE that sort of people that you mentioned,' I
139  returned.

140       'Aha! What! you recollect my skirmishes with Rosa, do you?' he
141  exclaimed with a quick look. 'Confound the girl, I am half afraid
142  of her. She's like a goblin to me. But never mind her. Now what
143  are you going to do? You are going to see your nurse, I suppose?'

144       'Why, yes,' I said, 'I must see Peggotty first of all.'

145       'Well,' replied Steerforth, looking at his watch. 'Suppose I
146  deliver you up to be cried over for a couple of hours. Is that
147  long enough?'

148       I answered, laughing, that I thought we might get through it in
149  that time, but that he must come also; for he would find that his
150  renown had preceded him, and that he was almost as great a
151  personage as I was.

152       'I'll come anywhere you like,' said Steerforth, 'or do anything you
153  like. Tell me where to come to; and in two hours I'll produce
154  myself in any state you please, sentimental or comical.'

155       I gave him minute directions for finding the residence of Mr.
156  Barkis, carrier to Blunderstone and elsewhere; and, on this
157  understanding, went out alone. There was a sharp bracing air; the
158  ground was dry; the sea was crisp and clear; the sun was diffusing
159  abundance of light, if not much warmth; and everything was fresh
160  and lively. I was so fresh and lively myself, in the pleasure of
161  being there, that I could have stopped the people in the streets
162  and shaken hands with them.

163       The streets looked small, of course. The streets that we have only
164  seen as children always do, I believe, when we go back to them.
165  But I had forgotten nothing in them, and found nothing changed,
166  until I came to Mr. Omer's shop. OMER AND Joram was now written
167  up, where OMER used to be; but the inscription, DRAPER, TAILOR,
168  HABERDASHER, FUNERAL FURNISHER, &c., remained as it was.

169       My footsteps seemed to tend so naturally to the shop door, after I
170  had read these words from over the way, that I went across the road
171  and looked in. There was a pretty woman at the back of the shop,
172  dancing a little child in her arms, while another little fellow
173  clung to her apron. I had no difficulty in recognizing either
174  Minnie or Minnie's children. The glass door of the parlour was not
175  open; but in the workshop across the yard I could faintly hear the
176  old tune playing, as if it had never left off.

177       'Is Mr. Omer at home?' said I, entering. 'I should like to see
178  him, for a moment, if he is.'

179       'Oh yes, sir, he is at home,' said Minnie; 'the weather don't suit
180  his asthma out of doors. Joe, call your grandfather!'

181       The little fellow, who was holding her apron, gave such a lusty
182  shout, that the sound of it made him bashful, and he buried his
183  face in her skirts, to her great admiration. I heard a heavy
184  puffing and blowing coming towards us, and soon Mr. Omer,
185  shorter-winded than of yore, but not much older-looking, stood
186  before me.

187       'Servant, sir,' said Mr. Omer. 'What can I do for you, sir?'
188  'You can shake hands with me, Mr. Omer, if you please,' said I,
189  putting out my own. 'You were very good-natured to me once, when
190  I am afraid I didn't show that I thought so.'

191       'Was I though?' returned the old man. 'I'm glad to hear it, but I
192  don't remember when. Are you sure it was me?'

193       'Quite.'

194       'I think my memory has got as short as my breath,' said Mr. Omer,
195  looking at me and shaking his head; 'for I don't remember you.'

196       'Don't you remember your coming to the coach to meet me, and my
197  having breakfast here, and our riding out to Blunderstone together:
198  you, and I, and Mrs. Joram, and Mr. Joram too - who wasn't her
199  husband then?'

200       'Why, Lord bless my soul!' exclaimed Mr. Omer, after being thrown
201  by his surprise into a fit of coughing, 'you don't say so! Minnie,
202  my dear, you recollect? Dear me, yes; the party was a lady, I
203  think?'

204       'My mother,' I rejoined.

205       'To - be - sure,' said Mr. Omer, touching my waistcoat with his
206  forefinger, 'and there was a little child too! There was two
207  parties. The little party was laid along with the other party.
208  Over at Blunderstone it was, of course. Dear me! And how have you
209  been since?'

210       Very well, I thanked him, as I hoped he had been too.

211       'Oh! nothing to grumble at, you know,' said Mr. Omer. 'I find my
212  breath gets short, but it seldom gets longer as a man gets older.
213  I take it as it comes, and make the most of it. That's the best
214  way, ain't it?'

215       Mr. Omer coughed again, in consequence of laughing, and was
216  assisted out of his fit by his daughter, who now stood close beside
217  us, dancing her smallest child on the counter.

218       'Dear me!' said Mr. Omer. 'Yes, to be sure. Two parties! Why, in
219  that very ride, if you'll believe me, the day was named for my
220  Minnie to marry Joram. "Do name it, sir," says Joram. "Yes, do,
221  father," says Minnie. And now he's come into the business. And
222  look here! The youngest!'

223       Minnie laughed, and stroked her banded hair upon her temples, as
224  her father put one of his fat fingers into the hand of the child
225  she was dancing on the counter.

226       'Two parties, of course!' said Mr. Omer, nodding his head
227  retrospectively. 'Ex-actly so! And Joram's at work, at this
228  minute, on a grey one with silver nails, not this measurement' -
229  the measurement of the dancing child upon the counter - 'by a good
230  two inches. - Will you take something?'

231       I thanked him, but declined.

232       'Let me see,' said Mr. Omer. 'Barkis's the carrier's wife -
233  Peggotty's the boatman's sister - she had something to do with your
234  family? She was in service there, sure?'

235       My answering in the affirmative gave him great satisfaction.

236       'I believe my breath will get long next, my memory's getting so
237  much so,' said Mr. Omer. 'Well, sir, we've got a young relation of
238  hers here, under articles to us, that has as elegant a taste in the
239  dress-making business - I assure you I don't believe there's a
240  Duchess in England can touch her.'

241       'Not little Em'ly?' said I, involuntarily.

242       'Em'ly's her name,' said Mr. Omer, 'and she's little too. But if
243  you'll believe me, she has such a face of her own that half the
244  women in this town are mad against her.'

245       'Nonsense, father!' cried Minnie.

246       'My dear,' said Mr. Omer, 'I don't say it's the case with you,'
247  winking at me, 'but I say that half the women in Yarmouth - ah! and
248  in five mile round - are mad against that girl.'

249       'Then she should have kept to her own station in life, father,'
250  said Minnie, 'and not have given them any hold to talk about her,
251  and then they couldn't have done it.'

252       'Couldn't have done it, my dear!' retorted Mr. Omer. 'Couldn't
253  have done it! Is that YOUR knowledge of life? What is there that
254  any woman couldn't do, that she shouldn't do - especially on the
255  subject of another woman's good looks?'

256       I really thought it was all over with Mr. Omer, after he had
257  uttered this libellous pleasantry. He coughed to that extent, and
258  his breath eluded all his attempts to recover it with that
259  obstinacy, that I fully expected to see his head go down behind the
260  counter, and his little black breeches, with the rusty little
261  bunches of ribbons at the knees, come quivering up in a last
262  ineffectual struggle. At length, however, he got better, though he
263  still panted hard, and was so exhausted that he was obliged to sit
264  on the stool of the shop-desk.

265       'You see,' he said, wiping his head, and breathing with difficulty,
266  'she hasn't taken much to any companions here; she hasn't taken
267  kindly to any particular acquaintances and friends, not to mention
268  sweethearts. In consequence, an ill-natured story got about, that
269  Em'ly wanted to be a lady. Now my opinion is, that it came into
270  circulation principally on account of her sometimes saying, at the
271  school, that if she was a lady she would like to do so-and-so for
272  her uncle - don't you see? - and buy him such-and-such fine
273  things.'

274       'I assure you, Mr. Omer, she has said so to me,' I returned
275  eagerly, 'when we were both children.'

276       Mr. Omer nodded his head and rubbed his chin. 'Just so. Then out
277  of a very little, she could dress herself, you see, better than
278  most others could out of a deal, and that made things unpleasant.
279  Moreover, she was rather what might be called wayward - I'll go so
280  far as to say what I should call wayward myself,' said Mr. Omer; '-
281  didn't know her own mind quite - a little spoiled - and couldn't,
282  at first, exactly bind herself down. No more than that was ever
283  said against her, Minnie?'

284       'No, father,' said Mrs. Joram. 'That's the worst, I believe.'

285       'So when she got a situation,' said Mr. Omer, 'to keep a fractious
286  old lady company, they didn't very well agree, and she didn't stop.
287  At last she came here, apprenticed for three years. Nearly two of
288  'em are over, and she has been as good a girl as ever was. Worth
289  any six! Minnie, is she worth any six, now?'

290       'Yes, father,' replied Minnie. 'Never say I detracted from her!'

291       'Very good,' said Mr. Omer. 'That's right. And so, young
292  gentleman,' he added, after a few moments' further rubbing of his
293  chin, 'that you may not consider me long-winded as well as
294  short-breathed, I believe that's all about it.'

295       As they had spoken in a subdued tone, while speaking of Em'ly, I
296  had no doubt that she was near. On my asking now, if that were not
297  so, Mr. Omer nodded yes, and nodded towards the door of the
298  parlour. My hurried inquiry if I might peep in, was answered with
299  a free permission; and, looking through the glass, I saw her
300  sitting at her work. I saw her, a most beautiful little creature,
301  with the cloudless blue eyes, that had looked into my childish
302  heart, turned laughingly upon another child of Minnie's who was
303  playing near her; with enough of wilfulness in her bright face to
304  justify what I had heard; with much of the old capricious coyness
305  lurking in it; but with nothing in her pretty looks, I am sure, but
306  what was meant for goodness and for happiness, and what was on a
307  good and

308       happy course.

309       The tune across the yard that seemed as if it never had left off -
310  alas! it was the tune that never DOES leave off - was beating,
311  softly, all the while.

312       'Wouldn't you like to step in,' said Mr. Omer, 'and speak to her?
313  Walk in and speak to her, sir! Make yourself at home!'

314       I was too bashful to do so then - I was afraid of confusing her,
315  and I was no less afraid of confusing myself.- but I informed
316  myself of the hour at which she left of an evening, in order that
317  our visit might be timed accordingly; and taking leave of Mr. Omer,
318  and his pretty daughter, and her little children, went away to my
319  dear old Peggotty's.

320       Here she was, in the tiled kitchen, cooking dinner! The moment I
321  knocked at the door she opened it, and asked me what I pleased to
322  want. I looked at her with a smile, but she gave me no smile in
323  return. I had never ceased to write to her, but it must have been
324  seven years since we had met.

325       'Is Mr. Barkis at home, ma'am?' I said, feigning to speak roughly
326  to her.

327       'He's at home, sir,' returned Peggotty, 'but he's bad abed with the
328  rheumatics.'

329       'Don't he go over to Blunderstone now?' I asked.

330       'When he's well he do,' she answered.

331       'Do YOU ever go there, Mrs. Barkis?'

332       She looked at me more attentively, and I noticed a quick movement
333  of her hands towards each other.

334       'Because I want to ask a question about a house there, that they
335  call the - what is it? - the Rookery,' said I.

336       She took a step backward, and put out her hands in an undecided
337  frightened way, as if to keep me off.

338       'Peggotty!' I cried to her.

339       She cried, 'My darling boy!' and we both burst into tears, and were
340  locked in one another's arms.

341       What extravagances she committed; what laughing and crying over me;
342  what pride she showed, what joy, what sorrow that she whose pride
343  and joy I might have been, could never hold me in a fond embrace;
344  I have not the heart to tell. I was troubled with no misgiving
345  that it was young in me to respond to her emotions. I had never
346  laughed and cried in all my life, I dare say - not even to her -
347  more freely than I did that morning.

348       'Barkis will be so glad,' said Peggotty, wiping her eyes with her
349  apron, 'that it'll do him more good than pints of liniment. May I
350  go and tell him you are here? Will you come up and see him, my
351  dear?'

352       Of course I would. But Peggotty could not get out of the room as
353  easily as she meant to, for as often as she got to the door and
354  looked round at me, she came back again to have another laugh and
355  another cry upon my shoulder. At last, to make the matter easier,
356  I went upstairs with her; and having waited outside for a minute,
357  while she said a word of preparation to Mr. Barkis, presented
358  myself before that invalid.

359       He received me with absolute enthusiasm. He was too rheumatic to
360  be shaken hands with, but he begged me to shake the tassel on the
361  top of his nightcap, which I did most cordially. When I sat down
362  by the side of the bed, he said that it did him a world of good to
363  feel as if he was driving me on the Blunderstone road again. As he
364  lay in bed, face upward, and so covered, with that exception, that
365  he seemed to be nothing but a face - like a conventional cherubim
366  - he looked the queerest object I ever beheld.

367       'What name was it, as I wrote up in the cart, sir?' said Mr.
368  Barkis, with a slow rheumatic smile.

369       'Ah! Mr. Barkis, we had some grave talks about that matter, hadn't
370  we?'

371       'I was willin' a long time, sir?' said Mr. Barkis.

372       'A long time,' said I.

373       'And I don't regret it,' said Mr. Barkis. 'Do you remember what
374  you told me once, about her making all the apple parsties and doing
375  all the cooking?'

376       'Yes, very well,' I returned.

377       'It was as true,' said Mr. Barkis, 'as turnips is. It was as
378  true,' said Mr. Barkis, nodding his nightcap, which was his only
379  means of emphasis, 'as taxes is. And nothing's truer than them.'

380       Mr. Barkis turned his eyes upon me, as if for my assent to this
381  result of his reflections in bed; and I gave it.

382       'Nothing's truer than them,' repeated Mr. Barkis; 'a man as poor as
383  I am, finds that out in his mind when he's laid up. I'm a very
384  poor man, sir!'

385       'I am sorry to hear it, Mr. Barkis.'

386       'A very poor man, indeed I am,' said Mr. Barkis.

387       Here his right hand came slowly and feebly from under the
388  bedclothes, and with a purposeless uncertain grasp took hold of a
389  stick which was loosely tied to the side of the bed. After some
390  poking about with this instrument, in the course of which his face
391  assumed a variety of distracted expressions, Mr. Barkis poked it
392  against a box, an end of which had been visible to me all the time.
393  Then his face became composed.

394       'Old clothes,' said Mr. Barkis.

395       'Oh!' said I.

396       'I wish it was Money, sir,' said Mr. Barkis.

397       'I wish it was, indeed,' said I.

398       'But it AIN'T,' said Mr. Barkis, opening both his eyes as wide as
399  he possibly could.

400       I expressed myself quite sure of that, and Mr. Barkis, turning his
401  eyes more gently to his wife, said:

402       'She's the usefullest and best of women, C. P. Barkis. All the
403  praise that anyone can give to C. P. Barkis, she deserves, and
404  more! My dear, you'll get a dinner today, for company; something
405  good to eat and drink, will you?'

406       I should have protested against this unnecessary demonstration in
407  my honour, but that I saw Peggotty, on the opposite side of the
408  bed, extremely anxious I should not. So I held my peace.

409       'I have got a trifle of money somewhere about me, my dear,' said
410  Mr. Barkis, 'but I'm a little tired. If you and Mr. David will
411  leave me for a short nap, I'll try and find it when I wake.'

412       We left the room, in compliance with this request. When we got
413  outside the door, Peggotty informed me that Mr. Barkis, being now
414  'a little nearer' than he used to be, always resorted to this same
415  device before producing a single coin from his store; and that he
416  endured unheard-of agonies in crawling out of bed alone, and taking
417  it from that unlucky box. In effect, we presently heard him
418  uttering suppressed groans of the most dismal nature, as this
419  magpie proceeding racked him in every joint; but while Peggotty's
420  eyes were full of compassion for him, she said his generous impulse
421  would do him good, and it was better not to check it. So he
422  groaned on, until he had got into bed again, suffering, I have no
423  doubt, a martyrdom; and then called us in, pretending to have just
424  woke up from a refreshing sleep, and to produce a guinea from under
425  his pillow. His satisfaction in which happy imposition on us, and
426  in having preserved the impenetrable secret of the box, appeared to
427  be a sufficient compensation to him for all his tortures.

428       I prepared Peggotty for Steerforth's arrival and it was not long
429  before he came. I am persuaded she knew no difference between his
430  having been a personal benefactor of hers, and a kind friend to me,
431  and that she would have received him with the utmost gratitude and
432  devotion in any case. But his easy, spirited good humour; his
433  genial manner, his handsome looks, his natural gift of adapting
434  himself to whomsoever he pleased, and making direct, when he cared
435  to do it, to the main point of interest in anybody's heart; bound
436  her to him wholly in five minutes. His manner to me, alone, would
437  have won her. But, through all these causes combined, I sincerely
438  believe she had a kind of adoration for him before he left the
439  house that night.

440       He stayed there with me to dinner - if I were to say willingly, I
441  should not half express how readily and gaily. He went into Mr.
442  Barkis's room like light and air, brightening and refreshing it as
443  if he were healthy weather. There was no noise, no effort, no
444  consciousness, in anything he did; but in everything an
445  indescribable lightness, a seeming impossibility of doing anything
446  else, or doing anything better, which was so graceful, so natural,
447  and agreeable, that it overcomes me, even now, in the remembrance.

448       We made merry in the little parlour, where the Book of Martyrs,
449  unthumbed since my time, was laid out upon the desk as of old, and
450  where I now turned over its terrific pictures, remembering the old
451  sensations they had awakened, but not feeling them. When Peggotty
452  spoke of what she called my room, and of its being ready for me at
453  night, and of her hoping I would occupy it, before I could so much
454  as look at Steerforth, hesitating, he was possessed of the whole
455  case.

456       'Of course,' he said. 'You'll sleep here, while we stay, and I
457  shall sleep at the hotel.'

458       'But to bring you so far,' I returned, 'and to separate, seems bad
459  companionship, Steerforth.'

460       'Why, in the name of Heaven, where do you naturally belong?' he
461  said. 'What is "seems", compared to that?' It was settled at
462  once.

463       He maintained all his delightful qualities to the last, until we
464  started forth, at eight o'clock, for Mr. Peggotty's boat. Indeed,
465  they were more and more brightly exhibited as the hours went on;
466  for I thought even then, and I have no doubt now, that the
467  consciousness of success in his determination to please, inspired
468  him with a new delicacy of perception, and made it, subtle as it
469  was, more easy to him. If anyone had told me, then, that all this
470  was a brilliant game, played for the excitement of the moment, for
471  the employment of high spirits, in the thoughtless love of
472  superiority, in a mere wasteful careless course of winning what was
473  worthless to him, and next minute thrown away - I say, if anyone
474  had told me such a lie that night, I wonder in what manner of
475  receiving it my indignation would have found a vent! Probably only
476  in an increase, had that been possible, of the romantic feelings of
477  fidelity and friendship with which I walked beside him, over the
478  dark wintry sands towards the old boat; the wind sighing around us
479  even more mournfully, than it had sighed and moaned upon the night
480  when I first darkened Mr. Peggotty's door.

481       'This is a wild kind of place, Steerforth, is it not?'

482       'Dismal enough in the dark,' he said: 'and the sea roars as if it
483  were hungry for us. Is that the boat, where I see a light yonder?'
484  'That's the boat,' said I.

485       'And it's the same I saw this morning,' he returned. 'I came
486  straight to it, by instinct, I suppose.'

487       We said no more as we approached the light, but made softly for the
488  door. I laid my hand upon the latch; and whispering Steerforth to
489  keep close to me, went in.

490       A murmur of voices had been audible on the outside, and, at the
491  moment of our entrance, a clapping of hands: which latter noise, I
492  was surprised to see, proceeded from the generally disconsolate
493  Mrs. Gummidge. But Mrs. Gummidge was not the only person there who
494  was unusually excited. Mr. Peggotty, his face lighted up with
495  uncommon satisfaction, and laughing with all his might, held his
496  rough arms wide open, as if for little Em'ly to run into them; Ham,
497  with a mixed expression in his face of admiration, exultation, and
498  a lumbering sort of bashfulness that sat upon him very well, held
499  little Em'ly by the hand, as if he were presenting her to Mr.
500  Peggotty; little Em'ly herself, blushing and shy, but delighted
501  with Mr. Peggotty's delight, as her joyous eyes expressed, was
502  stopped by our entrance (for she saw us first) in the very act of
503  springing from Ham to nestle in Mr. Peggotty's embrace. In the
504  first glimpse we had of them all, and at the moment of our passing
505  from the dark cold night into the warm light room, this was the way
506  in which they were all employed: Mrs. Gummidge in the background,
507  clapping her hands like a madwoman.

508       The little picture was so instantaneously dissolved by our going
509  in, that one might have doubted whether it had ever been. I was in
510  the midst of the astonished family, face to face with Mr. Peggotty,
511  and holding out my hand to him, when Ham shouted:

512       'Mas'r Davy! It's Mas'r Davy!'

513       In a moment we were all shaking hands with one another, and asking
514  one another how we did, and telling one another how glad we were to
515  meet, and all talking at once. Mr. Peggotty was so proud and
516  overjoyed to see us, that he did not know what to say or do, but
517  kept over and over again shaking hands with me, and then with
518  Steerforth, and then with me, and then ruffling his shaggy hair all
519  over his head, and laughing with such glee and triumph, that it was
520  a treat to see him.

521       'Why, that you two gent'lmen - gent'lmen growed - should come to
522  this here roof tonight, of all nights in my life,' said Mr.
523  Peggotty, 'is such a thing as never happened afore, I do rightly
524  believe! Em'ly, my darling, come here! Come here, my little
525  witch! There's Mas'r Davy's friend, my dear! There's the
526  gent'lman as you've heerd on, Em'ly. He comes to see you, along
527  with Mas'r Davy, on the brightest night of your uncle's life as
528  ever was or will be, Gorm the t'other one, and horroar for it!'

529       After delivering this speech all in a breath, and with
530  extraordinary animation and pleasure, Mr. Peggotty put one of his
531  large hands rapturously on each side of his niece's face, and
532  kissing it a dozen times, laid it with a gentle pride and love upon
533  his broad chest, and patted it as if his hand had been a lady's.
534  Then he let her go; and as she ran into the little chamber where I
535  used to sleep, looked round upon us, quite hot and out of breath
536  with his uncommon satisfaction.

537       'If you two gent'lmen - gent'lmen growed now, and such gent'lmen -'
538  said Mr. Peggotty.

539       'So th' are, so th' are!' cried Ham. 'Well said! So th' are.
540  Mas'r Davy bor' - gent'lmen growed - so th' are!'

541       'If you two gent'lmen, gent'lmen growed,' said Mr. Peggotty, 'don't
542  ex-cuse me for being in a state of mind, when you understand
543  matters, I'll arks your pardon. Em'ly, my dear! - She knows I'm a
544  going to tell,' here his delight broke out again, 'and has made
545  off. Would you be so good as look arter her, Mawther, for a
546  minute?'

547       Mrs. Gummidge nodded and disappeared.

548       'If this ain't,' said Mr. Peggotty, sitting down among us by the
549  fire, 'the brightest night o' my life, I'm a shellfish - biled too
550  - and more I can't say. This here little Em'ly, sir,' in a low
551  voice to Steerforth, '- her as you see a blushing here just now -'

552       Steerforth only nodded; but with such a pleased expression of
553  interest, and of participation in Mr. Peggotty's feelings, that the
554  latter answered him as if he had spoken.

555       'To be sure,' said Mr. Peggotty. 'That's her, and so she is.
556  Thankee, sir.'

557       Ham nodded to me several times, as if he would have said so too.

558       'This here little Em'ly of ours,' said Mr. Peggotty, 'has been, in
559  our house, what I suppose (I'm a ignorant man, but that's my
560  belief) no one but a little bright-eyed creetur can be in a house.
561  She ain't my child; I never had one; but I couldn't love her more.
562  You understand! I couldn't do it!'

563       'I quite understand,' said Steerforth.

564       'I know you do, sir,' returned Mr. Peggotty, 'and thankee again.
565  Mas'r Davy, he can remember what she was; you may judge for your
566  own self what she is; but neither of you can't fully know what she
567  has been, is, and will be, to my loving art. I am rough, sir,'
568  said Mr. Peggotty, 'I am as rough as a Sea Porkypine; but no one,
569  unless, mayhap, it is a woman, can know, I think, what our little
570  Em'ly is to me. And betwixt ourselves,' sinking his voice lower
571  yet, 'that woman's name ain't Missis Gummidge neither, though she
572  has a world of merits.'
573  Mr. Peggotty ruffled his hair again, with both hands, as a further
574  preparation for what he was going to say, and went on, with a hand
575  upon each of his knees:

576       'There was a certain person as had know'd our Em'ly, from the time
577  when her father was drownded; as had seen her constant; when a
578  babby, when a young gal, when a woman. Not much of a person to
579  look at, he warn't,' said Mr. Peggotty, 'something o' my own build
580  - rough - a good deal o' the sou'-wester in him - wery salt - but,
581  on the whole, a honest sort of a chap, with his art in the right
582  place.'

583       I thought I had never seen Ham grin to anything like the extent to
584  which he sat grinning at us now.

585       'What does this here blessed tarpaulin go and do,' said Mr.
586  Peggotty, with his face one high noon of enjoyment, 'but he loses
587  that there art of his to our little Em'ly. He follers her about,
588  he makes hisself a sort o' servant to her, he loses in a great
589  measure his relish for his wittles, and in the long-run he makes it
590  clear to me wot's amiss. Now I could wish myself, you see, that
591  our little Em'ly was in a fair way of being married. I could wish
592  to see her, at all ewents, under articles to a honest man as had a
593  right to defend her. I don't know how long I may live, or how soon
594  I may die; but I know that if I was capsized, any night, in a gale
595  of wind in Yarmouth Roads here, and was to see the town-lights
596  shining for the last time over the rollers as I couldn't make no
597  head against, I could go down quieter for thinking "There's a man
598  ashore there, iron-true to my little Em'ly, God bless her, and no
599  wrong can touch my Em'ly while so be as that man lives."'

600       Mr. Peggotty, in simple earnestness, waved his right arm, as if he
601  were waving it at the town-lights for the last time, and then,
602  exchanging a nod with Ham, whose eye he caught, proceeded as
603  before.

604       'Well! I counsels him to speak to Em'ly. He's big enough, but he's
605  bashfuller than a little un, and he don't like. So I speak.
606  "What! Him!" says Em'ly. "Him that I've know'd so intimate so
607  many years, and like so much. Oh, Uncle! I never can have him.
608  He's such a good fellow!" I gives her a kiss, and I says no more to
609  her than, "My dear, you're right to speak out, you're to choose for
610  yourself, you're as free as a little bird." Then I aways to him,
611  and I says, "I wish it could have been so, but it can't. But you
612  can both be as you was, and wot I say to you is, Be as you was with
613  her, like a man." He says to me, a-shaking of my hand, "I will!" he
614  says. And he was - honourable and manful - for two year going on,
615  and we was just the same at home here as afore.'

616       Mr. Peggotty's face, which had varied in its expression with the
617  various stages of his narrative, now resumed all its former
618  triumphant delight, as he laid a hand upon my knee and a hand upon
619  Steerforth's (previously wetting them both, for the greater
620  emphasis of the action), and divided the following speech between
621  us:

622       'All of a sudden, one evening - as it might be tonight - comes
623  little Em'ly from her work, and him with her! There ain't so much
624  in that, you'll say. No, because he takes care on her, like a
625  brother, arter dark, and indeed afore dark, and at all times. But
626  this tarpaulin chap, he takes hold of her hand, and he cries out to
627  me, joyful, "Look here! This is to be my little wife!" And she
628  says, half bold and half shy, and half a laughing and half a
629  crying, "Yes, Uncle! If you please." - If I please!' cried Mr.
630  Peggotty, rolling his head in an ecstasy at the idea; 'Lord, as if
631  I should do anythink else! - "If you please, I am steadier now, and
632  I have thought better of it, and I'll be as good a little wife as
633  I can to him, for he's a dear, good fellow!" Then Missis Gummidge,
634  she claps her hands like a play, and you come in. Theer! the
635  murder's out!' said Mr. Peggotty - 'You come in! It took place
636  this here present hour; and here's the man that'll marry her, the
637  minute she's out of her time.'

638       Ham staggered, as well he might, under the blow Mr. Peggotty dealt
639  him in his unbounded joy, as a mark of confidence and friendship;
640  but feeling called upon to say something to us, he said, with much
641  faltering and great difficulty:

642       'She warn't no higher than you was, Mas'r Davy - when you first
643  come - when I thought what she'd grow up to be. I see her grown up
644  - gent'lmen - like a flower. I'd lay down my life for her - Mas'r
645  Davy - Oh! most content and cheerful! She's more to me - gent'lmen
646  - than - she's all to me that ever I can want, and more than ever
647  I - than ever I could say. I - I love her true. There ain't a
648  gent'lman in all the land - nor yet sailing upon all the sea - that
649  can love his lady more than I love her, though there's many a
650  common man - would say better - what he meant.'

651       I thought it affecting to see such a sturdy fellow as Ham was now,
652  trembling in the strength of what he felt for the pretty little
653  creature who had won his heart. I thought the simple confidence
654  reposed in us by Mr. Peggotty and by himself, was, in itself,
655  affecting. I was affected by the story altogether. How far my
656  emotions were influenced by the recollections of my childhood, I
657  don't know. Whether I had come there with any lingering fancy that
658  I was still to love little Em'ly, I don't know. I know that I was
659  filled with pleasure by all this; but, at first, with an
660  indescribably sensitive pleasure, that a very little would have
661  changed to pain.

662       Therefore, if it had depended upon me to touch the prevailing chord
663  among them with any skill, I should have made a poor hand of it.
664  But it depended upon Steerforth; and he did it with such address,
665  that in a few minutes we were all as easy and as happy as it was
666  possible to be.

667       'Mr. Peggotty,' he said, 'you are a thoroughly good fellow, and
668  deserve to be as happy as you are tonight. My hand upon it! Ham,
669  I give you joy, my boy. My hand upon that, too! Daisy, stir the
670  fire, and make it a brisk one! and Mr. Peggotty, unless you can
671  induce your gentle niece to come back (for whom I vacate this seat
672  in the corner), I shall go. Any gap at your fireside on such a
673  night - such a gap least of all - I wouldn't make, for the wealth
674  of the Indies!'

675       So Mr. Peggotty went into my old room to fetch little Em'ly. At
676  first little Em'ly didn't like to come, and then Ham went.
677  Presently they brought her to the fireside, very much confused, and
678  very shy, - but she soon became more assured when she found how
679  gently and respectfully Steerforth spoke to her; how skilfully he
680  avoided anything that would embarrass her; how he talked to Mr.
681  Peggotty of boats, and ships, and tides, and fish; how he referred
682  to me about the time when he had seen Mr. Peggotty at Salem House;
683  how delighted he was with the boat and all belonging to it; how
684  lightly and easily he carried on, until he brought us, by degrees,
685  into a charmed circle, and we were all talking away without any
686  reserve.

687       Em'ly, indeed, said little all the evening; but she looked, and
688  listened, and her face got animated, and she was charming.
689  Steerforth told a story of a dismal shipwreck (which arose out of
690  his talk with Mr. Peggotty), as if he saw it all before him - and
691  little Em'ly's eyes were fastened on him all the time, as if she
692  saw it too. He told us a merry adventure of his own, as a relief
693  to that, with as much gaiety as if the narrative were as fresh to
694  him as it was to us - and little Em'ly laughed until the boat rang
695  with the musical sounds, and we all laughed (Steerforth too), in
696  irresistible sympathy with what was so pleasant and light-hearted.
697  He got Mr. Peggotty to sing, or rather to roar, 'When the stormy
698  winds do blow, do blow, do blow'; and he sang a sailor's song
699  himself, so pathetically and beautifully, that I could have almost
700  fancied that the real wind creeping sorrowfully round the house,
701  and murmuring low through our unbroken silence, was there to
702  listen.

703       As to Mrs. Gummidge, he roused that victim of despondency with a
704  success never attained by anyone else (so Mr. Peggotty informed
705  me), since the decease of the old one. He left her so little
706  leisure for being miserable, that she said next day she thought she
707  must have been bewitched.

708       But he set up no monopoly of the general attention, or the
709  conversation. When little Em'ly grew more courageous, and talked
710  (but still bashfully) across the fire to me, of our old wanderings
711  upon the beach, to pick up shells and pebbles; and when I asked her
712  if she recollected how I used to be devoted to her; and when we
713  both laughed and reddened, casting these looks back on the pleasant
714  old times, so unreal to look at now; he was silent and attentive,
715  and observed us thoughtfully. She sat, at this time, and all the
716  evening, on the old locker in her old little corner by the fire -
717  Ham beside her, where I used to sit. I could not satisfy myself
718  whether it was in her own little tormenting way, or in a maidenly
719  reserve before us, that she kept quite close to the wall, and away
720  from him; but I observed that she did so, all the evening.

721       As I remember, it was almost midnight when we took our leave. We
722  had had some biscuit and dried fish for supper, and Steerforth had
723  produced from his pocket a full flask of Hollands, which we men (I
724  may say we men, now, without a blush) had emptied. We parted
725  merrily; and as they all stood crowded round the door to light us
726  as far as they could upon our road, I saw the sweet blue eyes of
727  little Em'ly peeping after us, from behind Ham, and heard her soft
728  voice calling to us to be careful how we went.

729       'A most engaging little Beauty!' said Steerforth, taking my arm.
730  'Well! It's a quaint place, and they are quaint company, and it's
731  quite a new sensation to mix with them.'

732       'How fortunate we are, too,' I returned, 'to have arrived to
733  witness their happiness in that intended marriage! I never saw
734  people so happy. How delightful to see it, and to be made the
735  sharers in their honest joy, as we have been!'

736       'That's rather a chuckle-headed fellow for the girl; isn't he?'
737  said Steerforth.

738       He had been so hearty with him, and with them all, that I felt a
739  shock in this unexpected and cold reply. But turning quickly upon
740  him, and seeing a laugh in his eyes, I answered, much relieved:

741       'Ah, Steerforth! It's well for you to joke about the poor! You
742  may skirmish with Miss Dartle, or try to hide your sympathies in
743  jest from me, but I know better. When I see how perfectly you
744  understand them, how exquisitely you can enter into happiness like
745  this plain fisherman's, or humour a love like my old nurse's, I
746  know that there is not a joy or sorrow, not an emotion, of such
747  people, that can be indifferent to you. And I admire and love you
748  for it, Steerforth, twenty times the more!'

749       He stopped, and, looking in my face, said, 'Daisy, I believe you
750  are in earnest, and are good. I wish we all were!' Next moment he
751  was gaily singing Mr. Peggotty's song, as we walked at a round pace
752  back to Yarmouth.

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