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Charles Dickens
Chapter 2
Charles Dickens
 
 
1       The first objects that assume a distinct presence before me, as I
2  look far back, into the blank of my infancy, are my mother with her
3  pretty hair and youthful shape, and Peggotty with no shape at all,
4  and eyes so dark that they seemed to darken their whole
5  neighbourhood in her face, and cheeks and arms so hard and red that
6  I wondered the birds didn't peck her in preference to apples.

7       I believe I can remember these two at a little distance apart,
8  dwarfed to my sight by stooping down or kneeling on the floor, and
9  I going unsteadily from the one to the other. I have an impression
10  on my mind which I cannot distinguish from actual remembrance, of
11  the touch of Peggotty's forefinger as she used to hold it out to
12  me, and of its being roughened by needlework, like a pocket
13  nutmeg-grater.

14       This may be fancy, though I think the memory of most of us can go
15  farther back into such times than many of us suppose; just as I
16  believe the power of observation in numbers of very young children
17  to be quite wonderful for its closeness and accuracy. Indeed, I
18  think that most grown men who are remarkable in this respect, may
19  with greater propriety be said not to have lost the faculty, than
20  to have acquired it; the rather, as I generally observe such men to
21  retain a certain freshness, and gentleness, and capacity of being
22  pleased, which are also an inheritance they have preserved from
23  their childhood.

24       I might have a misgiving that I am 'meandering' in stopping to say
25  this, but that it brings me to remark that I build these
26  conclusions, in part upon my own experience of myself; and if it
27  should appear from anything I may set down in this narrative that
28  I was a child of close observation, or that as a man I have a
29  strong memory of my childhood, I undoubtedly lay claim to both of
30  these characteristics.

31       Looking back, as I was saying, into the blank of my infancy, the
32  first objects I can remember as standing out by themselves from a
33  confusion of things, are my mother and Peggotty. What else do I
34  remember? Let me see.

35       There comes out of the cloud, our house - not new to me, but quite
36  familiar, in its earliest remembrance. On the ground-floor is
37  Peggotty's kitchen, opening into a back yard; with a pigeon-house
38  on a pole, in the centre, without any pigeons in it; a great dog-
39  kennel in a corner, without any dog; and a quantity of fowls that
40  look terribly tall to me, walking about, in a menacing and
41  ferocious manner. There is one cock who gets upon a post to crow,
42  and seems to take particular notice of me as I look at him through
43  the kitchen window, who makes me shiver, he is so fierce. Of the
44  geese outside the side-gate who come waddling after me with their
45  long necks stretched out when I go that way, I dream at night: as
46  a man environed by wild beasts might dream of lions.

47       Here is a long passage - what an enormous perspective I make of it!
48  - leading from Peggotty's kitchen to the front door. A dark
49  store-room opens out of it, and that is a place to be run past at
50  night; for I don't know what may be among those tubs and jars and
51  old tea-chests, when there is nobody in there with a dimly-burning
52  light, letting a mouldy air come out of the door, in which there is
53  the smell of soap, pickles, pepper, candles, and coffee, all at one
54  whiff. Then there are the two parlours: the parlour in which we
55  sit of an evening, my mother and I and Peggotty - for Peggotty is
56  quite our companion, when her work is done and we are alone - and
57  the best parlour where we sit on a Sunday; grandly, but not so
58  comfortably. There is something of a doleful air about that room
59  to me, for Peggotty has told me - I don't know when, but apparently
60  ages ago - about my father's funeral, and the company having their
61  black cloaks put on. One Sunday night my mother reads to Peggotty
62  and me in there, how Lazarus was raised up from the dead. And I am
63  so frightened that they are afterwards obliged to take me out of
64  bed, and show me the quiet churchyard out of the bedroom window,
65  with the dead all lying in their graves at rest, below the solemn
66  moon.

67       There is nothing half so green that I know anywhere, as the grass
68  of that churchyard; nothing half so shady as its trees; nothing
69  half so quiet as its tombstones. The sheep are feeding there, when
70  I kneel up, early in the morning, in my little bed in a closet
71  within my mother's room, to look out at it; and I see the red light
72  shining on the sun-dial, and think within myself, 'Is the sun-dial
73  glad, I wonder, that it can tell the time again?'

74       Here is our pew in the church. What a high-backed pew! With a
75  window near it, out of which our house can be seen, and IS seen
76  many times during the morning's service, by Peggotty, who likes to
77  make herself as sure as she can that it's not being robbed, or is
78  not in flames. But though Peggotty's eye wanders, she is much
79  offended if mine does, and frowns to me, as I stand upon the seat,
80  that I am to look at the clergyman. But I can't always look at him
81  - I know him without that white thing on, and I am afraid of his
82  wondering why I stare so, and perhaps stopping the service to
83  inquire - and what am I to do? It's a dreadful thing to gape, but
84  I must do something. I look at my mother, but she pretends not to
85  see me. I look at a boy in the aisle, and he makes faces at me.
86  I look at the sunlight coming in at the open door through the
87  porch, and there I see a stray sheep - I don't mean a sinner, but
88  mutton - half making up his mind to come into the church. I feel
89  that if I looked at him any longer, I might be tempted to say
90  something out loud; and what would become of me then! I look up at
91  the monumental tablets on the wall, and try to think of Mr. Bodgers
92  late of this parish, and what the feelings of Mrs. Bodgers must
93  have been, when affliction sore, long time Mr. Bodgers bore, and
94  physicians were in vain. I wonder whether they called in Mr.
95  Chillip, and he was in vain; and if so, how he likes to be reminded
96  of it once a week. I look from Mr. Chillip, in his Sunday
97  neckcloth, to the pulpit; and think what a good place it would be
98  to play in, and what a castle it would make, with another boy
99  coming up the stairs to attack it, and having the velvet cushion
100  with the tassels thrown down on his head. In time my eyes
101  gradually shut up; and, from seeming to hear the clergyman singing
102  a drowsy song in the heat, I hear nothing, until I fall off the
103  seat with a crash, and am taken out, more dead than alive, by
104  Peggotty.

105       And now I see the outside of our house, with the latticed
106  bedroom-windows standing open to let in the sweet-smelling air, and
107  the ragged old rooks'-nests still dangling in the elm-trees at the
108  bottom of the front garden. Now I am in the garden at the back,
109  beyond the yard where the empty pigeon-house and dog-kennel are -
110  a very preserve of butterflies, as I remember it, with a high
111  fence, and a gate and padlock; where the fruit clusters on the
112  trees, riper and richer than fruit has ever been since, in any
113  other garden, and where my mother gathers some in a basket, while
114  I stand by, bolting furtive gooseberries, and trying to look
115  unmoved. A great wind rises, and the summer is gone in a moment.
116  We are playing in the winter twilight, dancing about the parlour.
117  When my mother is out of breath and rests herself in an
118  elbow-chair, I watch her winding her bright curls round her
119  fingers, and straitening her waist, and nobody knows better than I
120  do that she likes to look so well, and is proud of being so pretty.

121       That is among my very earliest impressions. That, and a sense that
122  we were both a little afraid of Peggotty, and submitted ourselves
123  in most things to her direction, were among the first opinions - if
124  they may be so called - that I ever derived from what I saw.

125       Peggotty and I were sitting one night by the parlour fire, alone.
126  I had been reading to Peggotty about crocodiles. I must have read
127  very perspicuously, or the poor soul must have been deeply
128  interested, for I remember she had a cloudy impression, after I had
129  done, that they were a sort of vegetable. I was tired of reading,
130  and dead sleepy; but having leave, as a high treat, to sit up until
131  my mother came home from spending the evening at a neighbour's, I
132  would rather have died upon my post (of course) than have gone to
133  bed. I had reached that stage of sleepiness when Peggotty seemed
134  to swell and grow immensely large. I propped my eyelids open with
135  my two forefingers, and looked perseveringly at her as she sat at
136  work; at the little bit of wax-candle she kept for her thread - how
137  old it looked, being so wrinkled in all directions! - at the little
138  house with a thatched roof, where the yard-measure lived; at her
139  work-box with a sliding lid, with a view of St. Paul's Cathedral
140  (with a pink dome) painted on the top; at the brass thimble on her
141  finger; at herself, whom I thought lovely. I felt so sleepy, that
142  I knew if I lost sight of anything for a moment, I was gone.

143       'Peggotty,' says I, suddenly, 'were you ever married?'

144       'Lord, Master Davy,' replied Peggotty. 'What's put marriage in
145  your head?'

146       She answered with such a start, that it quite awoke me. And then
147  she stopped in her work, and looked at me, with her needle drawn
148  out to its thread's length.

149       'But WERE you ever married, Peggotty?' says I. 'You are a very
150  handsome woman, an't you?'

151       I thought her in a different style from my mother, certainly; but
152  of another school of beauty, I considered her a perfect example.
153  There was a red velvet footstool in the best parlour, on which my
154  mother had painted a nosegay. The ground-work of that stool, and
155  Peggotty's complexion appeared to me to be one and the same thing.
156  The stool was smooth, and Peggotty was rough, but that made no
157  difference.

158       'Me handsome, Davy!' said Peggotty. 'Lawk, no, my dear! But what
159  put marriage in your head?'

160       'I don't know! - You mustn't marry more than one person at a time,
161  may you, Peggotty?'

162       'Certainly not,' says Peggotty, with the promptest decision.

163       'But if you marry a person, and the person dies, why then you may
164  marry another person, mayn't you, Peggotty?'

165       'YOU MAY,' says Peggotty, 'if you choose, my dear. That's a matter
166  of opinion.'

167       'But what is your opinion, Peggotty?' said I.

168       I asked her, and looked curiously at her, because she looked so
169  curiously at me.

170       'My opinion is,' said Peggotty, taking her eyes from me, after a
171  little indecision and going on with her work, 'that I never was
172  married myself, Master Davy, and that I don't expect to be. That's
173  all I know about the subject.'

174       'You an't cross, I suppose, Peggotty, are you?' said I, after
175  sitting quiet for a minute.

176       I really thought she was, she had been so short with me; but I was
177  quite mistaken: for she laid aside her work (which was a stocking
178  of her own), and opening her arms wide, took my curly head within
179  them, and gave it a good squeeze. I know it was a good squeeze,
180  because, being very plump, whenever she made any little exertion
181  after she was dressed, some of the buttons on the back of her gown
182  flew off. And I recollect two bursting to the opposite side of the
183  parlour, while she was hugging me.

184       'Now let me hear some more about the Crorkindills,' said Peggotty,
185  who was not quite right in the name yet, 'for I an't heard half
186  enough.'

187       I couldn't quite understand why Peggotty looked so queer, or why
188  she was so ready to go back to the crocodiles. However, we
189  returned to those monsters, with fresh wakefulness on my part, and
190  we left their eggs in the sand for the sun to hatch; and we ran
191  away from them, and baffled them by constantly turning, which they
192  were unable to do quickly, on account of their unwieldy make; and
193  we went into the water after them, as natives, and put sharp pieces
194  of timber down their throats; and in short we ran the whole
195  crocodile gauntlet. I did, at least; but I had my doubts of
196  Peggotty, who was thoughtfully sticking her needle into various
197  parts of her face and arms, all the time.

198       We had exhausted the crocodiles, and begun with the alligators,
199  when the garden-bell rang. We went out to the door; and there was
200  my mother, looking unusually pretty, I thought, and with her a
201  gentleman with beautiful black hair and whiskers, who had walked
202  home with us from church last Sunday.

203       As my mother stooped down on the threshold to take me in her arms
204  and kiss me, the gentleman said I was a more highly privileged
205  little fellow than a monarch - or something like that; for my later
206  understanding comes, I am sensible, to my aid here.

207       'What does that mean?' I asked him, over her shoulder.

208       He patted me on the head; but somehow, I didn't like him or his
209  deep voice, and I was jealous that his hand should touch my
210  mother's in touching me - which it did. I put it away, as well as
211  I could.

212       'Oh, Davy!' remonstrated my mother.

213       'Dear boy!' said the gentleman. 'I cannot wonder at his devotion!'

214       I never saw such a beautiful colour on my mother's face before.
215  She gently chid me for being rude; and, keeping me close to her
216  shawl, turned to thank the gentleman for taking so much trouble as
217  to bring her home. She put out her hand to him as she spoke, and,
218  as he met it with his own, she glanced, I thought, at me.

219       'Let us say "good night", my fine boy,' said the gentleman, when he
220  had bent his head - I saw him! - over my mother's little glove.

221       'Good night!' said I.

222       'Come! Let us be the best friends in the world!' said the
223  gentleman, laughing. 'Shake hands!'

224       My right hand was in my mother's left, so I gave him the other.

225       'Why, that's the Wrong hand, Davy!' laughed the gentleman.

226       MY mother drew my right hand forward, but I was resolved, for my
227  former reason, not to give it him, and I did not. I gave him the
228  other, and he shook it heartily, and said I was a brave fellow, and
229  went away.

230       At this minute I see him turn round in the garden, and give us a
231  last look with his ill-omened black eyes, before the door was shut.

232       Peggotty, who had not said a word or moved a finger, secured the
233  fastenings instantly, and we all went into the parlour. My mother,
234  contrary to her usual habit, instead of coming to the elbow-chair
235  by the fire, remained at the other end of the room, and sat singing
236  to herself.

237       - 'Hope you have had a pleasant evening, ma'am,' said Peggotty,
238  standing as stiff as a barrel in the centre of the room, with a
239  candlestick in her hand.

240       'Much obliged to you, Peggotty,' returned my mother, in a cheerful
241  voice, 'I have had a VERY pleasant evening.'

242       'A stranger or so makes an agreeable change,' suggested Peggotty.

243       'A very agreeable change, indeed,' returned my mother.

244       Peggotty continuing to stand motionless in the middle of the room,
245  and my mother resuming her singing, I fell asleep, though I was not
246  so sound asleep but that I could hear voices, without hearing what
247  they said. When I half awoke from this uncomfortable doze, I found
248  Peggotty and my mother both in tears, and both talking.

249       'Not such a one as this, Mr. Copperfield wouldn't have liked,' said
250  Peggotty. 'That I say, and that I swear!'

251       'Good Heavens!' cried my mother, 'you'll drive me mad! Was ever
252  any poor girl so ill-used by her servants as I am! Why do I do
253  myself the injustice of calling myself a girl? Have I never been
254  married, Peggotty?'

255       'God knows you have, ma'am,' returned Peggotty.
256  'Then, how can you dare,' said my mother - 'you know I don't mean
257  how can you dare, Peggotty, but how can you have the heart - to
258  make me so uncomfortable and say such bitter things to me, when you
259  are well aware that I haven't, out of this place, a single friend
260  to turn to?'

261       'The more's the reason,' returned Peggotty, 'for saying that it
262  won't do. No! That it won't do. No! No price could make it do.
263  No!' - I thought Peggotty would have thrown the candlestick away,
264  she was so emphatic with it.

265       'How can you be so aggravating,' said my mother, shedding more
266  tears than before, 'as to talk in such an unjust manner! How can
267  you go on as if it was all settled and arranged, Peggotty, when I
268  tell you over and over again, you cruel thing, that beyond the
269  commonest civilities nothing has passed! You talk of admiration.
270  What am I to do? If people are so silly as to indulge the
271  sentiment, is it my fault? What am I to do, I ask you? Would you
272  wish me to shave my head and black my face, or disfigure myself
273  with a burn, or a scald, or something of that sort? I dare say you
274  would, Peggotty. I dare say you'd quite enjoy it.'

275       Peggotty seemed to take this aspersion very much to heart, I
276  thought.

277       'And my dear boy,' cried my mother, coming to the elbow-chair in
278  which I was, and caressing me, 'my own little Davy! Is it to be
279  hinted to me that I am wanting in affection for my precious
280  treasure, the dearest little fellow that ever was!'

281       'Nobody never went and hinted no such a thing,' said Peggotty.

282       'You did, Peggotty!' returned my mother. 'You know you did. What
283  else was it possible to infer from what you said, you unkind
284  creature, when you know as well as I do, that on his account only
285  last quarter I wouldn't buy myself a new parasol, though that old
286  green one is frayed the whole way up, and the fringe is perfectly
287  mangy? You know it is, Peggotty. You can't deny it.' Then,
288  turning affectionately to me, with her cheek against mine, 'Am I a
289  naughty mama to you, Davy? Am I a nasty, cruel, selfish, bad mama?
290  Say I am, my child; say "yes", dear boy, and Peggotty will love
291  you; and Peggotty's love is a great deal better than mine, Davy.
292  I don't love you at all, do I?'

293       At this, we all fell a-crying together. I think I was the loudest
294  of the party, but I am sure we were all sincere about it. I was
295  quite heart-broken myself, and am afraid that in the first
296  transports of wounded tenderness I called Peggotty a 'Beast'. That
297  honest creature was in deep affliction, I remember, and must have
298  become quite buttonless on the occasion; for a little volley of
299  those explosives went off, when, after having made it up with my
300  mother, she kneeled down by the elbow-chair, and made it up with
301  me.

302       We went to bed greatly dejected. My sobs kept waking me, for a
303  long time; and when one very strong sob quite hoisted me up in bed,
304  I found my mother sitting on the coverlet, and leaning over me. I
305  fell asleep in her arms, after that, and slept soundly.

306       Whether it was the following Sunday when I saw the gentleman again,
307  or whether there was any greater lapse of time before he
308  reappeared, I cannot recall. I don't profess to be clear about
309  dates. But there he was, in church, and he walked home with us
310  afterwards. He came in, too, to look at a famous geranium we had,
311  in the parlour-window. It did not appear to me that he took much
312  notice of it, but before he went he asked my mother to give him a
313  bit of the blossom. She begged him to choose it for himself, but
314  he refused to do that - I could not understand why - so she plucked
315  it for him, and gave it into his hand. He said he would never,
316  never part with it any more; and I thought he must be quite a fool
317  not to know that it would fall to pieces in a day or two.

318       Peggotty began to be less with us, of an evening, than she had
319  always been. My mother deferred to her very much - more than
320  usual, it occurred to me - and we were all three excellent friends;
321  still we were different from what we used to be, and were not so
322  comfortable among ourselves. Sometimes I fancied that Peggotty
323  perhaps objected to my mother's wearing all the pretty dresses she
324  had in her drawers, or to her going so often to visit at that
325  neighbour's; but I couldn't, to my satisfaction, make out how it
326  was.

327       Gradually, I became used to seeing the gentleman with the black
328  whiskers. I liked him no better than at first, and had the same
329  uneasy jealousy of him; but if I had any reason for it beyond a
330  child's instinctive dislike, and a general idea that Peggotty and
331  I could make much of my mother without any help, it certainly was
332  not THE reason that I might have found if I had been older. No
333  such thing came into my mind, or near it. I could observe, in
334  little pieces, as it were; but as to making a net of a number of
335  these pieces, and catching anybody in it, that was, as yet, beyond
336  me.

337       One autumn morning I was with my mother in the front garden, when
338  Mr. Murdstone - I knew him by that name now - came by, on
339  horseback. He reined up his horse to salute my mother, and said he
340  was going to Lowestoft to see some friends who were there with a
341  yacht, and merrily proposed to take me on the saddle before him if
342  I would like the ride.

343       The air was so clear and pleasant, and the horse seemed to like the
344  idea of the ride so much himself, as he stood snorting and pawing
345  at the garden-gate, that I had a great desire to go. So I was sent
346  upstairs to Peggotty to be made spruce; and in the meantime Mr.
347  Murdstone dismounted, and, with his horse's bridle drawn over his
348  arm, walked slowly up and down on the outer side of the sweetbriar
349  fence, while my mother walked slowly up and down on the inner to
350  keep him company. I recollect Peggotty and I peeping out at them
351  from my little window; I recollect how closely they seemed to be
352  examining the sweetbriar between them, as they strolled along; and
353  how, from being in a perfectly angelic temper, Peggotty turned
354  cross in a moment, and brushed my hair the wrong way, excessively
355  hard.

356       Mr. Murdstone and I were soon off, and trotting along on the green
357  turf by the side of the road. He held me quite easily with one
358  arm, and I don't think I was restless usually; but I could not make
359  up my mind to sit in front of him without turning my head
360  sometimes, and looking up in his face. He had that kind of shallow
361  black eye - I want a better word to express an eye that has no
362  depth in it to be looked into - which, when it is abstracted, seems
363  from some peculiarity of light to be disfigured, for a moment at a
364  time, by a cast. Several times when I glanced at him, I observed
365  that appearance with a sort of awe, and wondered what he was
366  thinking about so closely. His hair and whiskers were blacker and
367  thicker, looked at so near, than even I had given them credit for
368  being. A squareness about the lower part of his face, and the
369  dotted indication of the strong black beard he shaved close every
370  day, reminded me of the wax-work that had travelled into our
371  neighbourhood some half-a-year before. This, his regular eyebrows,
372  and the rich white, and black, and brown, of his complexion -
373  confound his complexion, and his memory! - made me think him, in
374  spite of my misgivings, a very handsome man. I have no doubt that
375  my poor dear mother thought him so too.

376       We went to an hotel by the sea, where two gentlemen were smoking
377  cigars in a room by themselves. Each of them was lying on at least
378  four chairs, and had a large rough jacket on. In a corner was a
379  heap of coats and boat-cloaks, and a flag, all bundled up together.

380       They both rolled on to their feet in an untidy sort of manner, when
381  we came in, and said, 'Halloa, Murdstone! We thought you were
382  dead!'

383       'Not yet,' said Mr. Murdstone.

384       'And who's this shaver?' said one of the gentlemen, taking hold of
385  me.

386       'That's Davy,' returned Mr. Murdstone.

387       'Davy who?' said the gentleman. 'Jones?'

388       'Copperfield,' said Mr. Murdstone.

389       'What! Bewitching Mrs. Copperfield's encumbrance?' cried the
390  gentleman. 'The pretty little widow?'

391       'Quinion,' said Mr. Murdstone, 'take care, if you please.
392  Somebody's sharp.'

393       'Who is?' asked the gentleman, laughing.
394  I looked up, quickly; being curious to know.

395       'Only Brooks of Sheffield,' said Mr. Murdstone.

396       I was quite relieved to find that it was only Brooks of Sheffield;
397  for, at first, I really thought it was I.

398       There seemed to be something very comical in the reputation of Mr.
399  Brooks of Sheffield, for both the gentlemen laughed heartily when
400  he was mentioned, and Mr. Murdstone was a good deal amused also.
401  After some laughing, the gentleman whom he had called Quinion,
402  said:

403       'And what is the opinion of Brooks of Sheffield, in reference to
404  the projected business?'

405       'Why, I don't know that Brooks understands much about it at
406  present,' replied Mr. Murdstone; 'but he is not generally
407  favourable, I believe.'

408       There was more laughter at this, and Mr. Quinion said he would ring
409  the bell for some sherry in which to drink to Brooks. This he did;
410  and when the wine came, he made me have a little, with a biscuit,
411  and, before I drank it, stand up and say, 'Confusion to Brooks of
412  Sheffield!' The toast was received with great applause, and such
413  hearty laughter that it made me laugh too; at which they laughed
414  the more. In short, we quite enjoyed ourselves.

415       We walked about on the cliff after that, and sat on the grass, and
416  looked at things through a telescope - I could make out nothing
417  myself when it was put to my eye, but I pretended I could - and
418  then we came back to the hotel to an early dinner. All the time we
419  were out, the two gentlemen smoked incessantly - which, I thought,
420  if I might judge from the smell of their rough coats, they must
421  have been doing, ever since the coats had first come home from the
422  tailor's. I must not forget that we went on board the yacht, where
423  they all three descended into the cabin, and were busy with some
424  papers. I saw them quite hard at work, when I looked down through
425  the open skylight. They left me, during this time, with a very
426  nice man with a very large head of red hair and a very small shiny
427  hat upon it, who had got a cross-barred shirt or waistcoat on, with
428  'Skylark' in capital letters across the chest. I thought it was
429  his name; and that as he lived on board ship and hadn't a street
430  door to put his name on, he put it there instead; but when I called
431  him Mr. Skylark, he said it meant the vessel.

432       I observed all day that Mr. Murdstone was graver and steadier than
433  the two gentlemen. They were very gay and careless. They joked
434  freely with one another, but seldom with him. It appeared to me
435  that he was more clever and cold than they were, and that they
436  regarded him with something of my own feeling. I remarked that,
437  once or twice when Mr. Quinion was talking, he looked at Mr.
438  Murdstone sideways, as if to make sure of his not being displeased;
439  and that once when Mr. Passnidge (the other gentleman) was in high
440  spirits, he trod upon his foot, and gave him a secret caution with
441  his eyes, to observe Mr. Murdstone, who was sitting stern and
442  silent. Nor do I recollect that Mr. Murdstone laughed at all that
443  day, except at the Sheffield joke - and that, by the by, was his
444  own.

445       We went home early in the evening. It was a very fine evening, and
446  my mother and he had another stroll by the sweetbriar, while I was
447  sent in to get my tea. When he was gone, my mother asked me all
448  about the day I had had, and what they had said and done. I
449  mentioned what they had said about her, and she laughed, and told
450  me they were impudent fellows who talked nonsense - but I knew it
451  pleased her. I knew it quite as well as I know it now. I took the
452  opportunity of asking if she was at all acquainted with Mr. Brooks
453  of Sheffield, but she answered No, only she supposed he must be a
454  manufacturer in the knife and fork way.

455       Can I say of her face - altered as I have reason to remember it,
456  perished as I know it is - that it is gone, when here it comes
457  before me at this instant, as distinct as any face that I may
458  choose to look on in a crowded street? Can I say of her innocent
459  and girlish beauty, that it faded, and was no more, when its breath
460  falls on my cheek now, as it fell that night? Can I say she ever
461  changed, when my remembrance brings her back to life, thus only;
462  and, truer to its loving youth than I have been, or man ever is,
463  still holds fast what it cherished then?

464       I write of her just as she was when I had gone to bed after this
465  talk, and she came to bid me good night. She kneeled down
466  playfully by the side of the bed, and laying her chin upon her
467  hands, and laughing, said:

468       'What was it they said, Davy? Tell me again. I can't believe it.'

469       '"Bewitching -"' I began.

470       My mother put her hands upon my lips to stop me.

471       'It was never bewitching,' she said, laughing. 'It never could
472  have been bewitching, Davy. Now I know it wasn't!'

473       'Yes, it was. "Bewitching Mrs. Copperfield",' I repeated stoutly.
474  'And, "pretty."'

475       'No, no, it was never pretty. Not pretty,' interposed my mother,
476  laying her fingers on my lips again.

477       'Yes it was. "Pretty little widow."'

478       'What foolish, impudent creatures!' cried my mother, laughing and
479  covering her face. 'What ridiculous men! An't they? Davy dear -'

480       'Well, Ma.'

481       'Don't tell Peggotty; she might be angry with them. I am
482  dreadfully angry with them myself; but I would rather Peggotty
483  didn't know.'

484       I promised, of course; and we kissed one another over and over
485  again, and I soon fell fast asleep.

486       It seems to me, at this distance of time, as if it were the next
487  day when Peggotty broached the striking and adventurous proposition
488  I am about to mention; but it was probably about two months
489  afterwards.

490       We were sitting as before, one evening (when my mother was out as
491  before), in company with the stocking and the yard-measure, and the
492  bit of wax, and the box with St. Paul's on the lid, and the
493  crocodile book, when Peggotty, after looking at me several times,
494  and opening her mouth as if she were going to speak, without doing
495  it - which I thought was merely gaping, or I should have been
496  rather alarmed - said coaxingly:

497       'Master Davy, how should you like to go along with me and spend a
498  fortnight at my brother's at Yarmouth? Wouldn't that be a treat?'

499       'Is your brother an agreeable man, Peggotty?' I inquired,
500  provisionally.

501       'Oh, what an agreeable man he is!' cried Peggotty, holding up her
502  hands. 'Then there's the sea; and the boats and ships; and the
503  fishermen; and the beach; and Am to play with -'

504       Peggotty meant her nephew Ham, mentioned in my first chapter; but
505  she spoke of him as a morsel of English Grammar.

506       I was flushed by her summary of delights, and replied that it would
507  indeed be a treat, but what would my mother say?

508       'Why then I'll as good as bet a guinea,' said Peggotty, intent upon
509  my face, 'that she'll let us go. I'll ask her, if you like, as
510  soon as ever she comes home. There now!'

511       'But what's she to do while we're away?' said I, putting my small
512  elbows on the table to argue the point. 'She can't live by
513  herself.'

514       If Peggotty were looking for a hole, all of a sudden, in the heel
515  of that stocking, it must have been a very little one indeed, and
516  not worth darning.

517       'I say! Peggotty! She can't live by herself, you know.'

518       'Oh, bless you!' said Peggotty, looking at me again at last.
519  'Don't you know? She's going to stay for a fortnight with Mrs.
520  Grayper. Mrs. Grayper's going to have a lot of company.'

521       Oh! If that was it, I was quite ready to go. I waited, in the
522  utmost impatience, until my mother came home from Mrs. Grayper's
523  (for it was that identical neighbour), to ascertain if we could get
524  leave to carry out this great idea. Without being nearly so much
525  surprised as I had expected, my mother entered into it readily; and
526  it was all arranged that night, and my board and lodging during the
527  visit were to be paid for.

528       The day soon came for our going. It was such an early day that it
529  came soon, even to me, who was in a fever of expectation, and half
530  afraid that an earthquake or a fiery mountain, or some other great
531  convulsion of nature, might interpose to stop the expedition. We
532  were to go in a carrier's cart, which departed in the morning after
533  breakfast. I would have given any money to have been allowed to
534  wrap myself up over-night, and sleep in my hat and boots.

535       It touches me nearly now, although I tell it lightly, to recollect
536  how eager I was to leave my happy home; to think how little I
537  suspected what I did leave for ever.

538       I am glad to recollect that when the carrier's cart was at the
539  gate, and my mother stood there kissing me, a grateful fondness for
540  her and for the old place I had never turned my back upon before,
541  made me cry. I am glad to know that my mother cried too, and that
542  I felt her heart beat against mine.

543       I am glad to recollect that when the carrier began to move, my
544  mother ran out at the gate, and called to him to stop, that she
545  might kiss me once more. I am glad to dwell upon the earnestness
546  and love with which she lifted up her face to mine, and did so.

547       As we left her standing in the road, Mr. Murdstone came up to where
548  she was, and seemed to expostulate with her for being so moved. I
549  was looking back round the awning of the cart, and wondered what
550  business it was of his. Peggotty, who was also looking back on the
551  other side, seemed anything but satisfied; as the face she brought
552  back in the cart denoted.

553       I sat looking at Peggotty for some time, in a reverie on this
554  supposititious case: whether, if she were employed to lose me like
555  the boy in the fairy tale, I should be able to track my way home
556  again by the buttons she would shed.

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