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| 1 | Mr. Dick and I soon became the best of friends, and very often,
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| 2 | when his day's work was done, went out together to fly the great
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| 3 | kite. Every day of his life he had a long sitting at the Memorial,
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| 4 | which never made the least progress, however hard he laboured, for
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| 5 | King Charles the First always strayed into it, sooner or later, and
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| 6 | then it was thrown aside, and another one begun. The patience and
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| 7 | hope with which he bore these perpetual disappointments, the mild
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| 8 | perception he had that there was something wrong about King Charles
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| 9 | the First, the feeble efforts he made to keep him out, and the
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| 10 | certainty with which he came in, and tumbled the Memorial out of
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| 11 | all shape, made a deep impression on me. What Mr. Dick supposed
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| 12 | would come of the Memorial, if it were completed; where he thought
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| 13 | it was to go, or what he thought it was to do; he knew no more than
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| 14 | anybody else, I believe. Nor was it at all necessary that he
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| 15 | should trouble himself with such questions, for if anything were
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| 16 | certain under the sun, it was certain that the Memorial never would
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| 17 | be finished. It was quite an affecting sight, I used to think, to
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| 18 | see him with the kite when it was up a great height in the air.
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| 19 | What he had told me, in his room, about his belief in its
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| 20 | disseminating the statements pasted on it, which were nothing but
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| 21 | old leaves of abortive Memorials, might have been a fancy with him
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| 22 | sometimes; but not when he was out, looking up at the kite in the
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| 23 | sky, and feeling it pull and tug at his hand. He never looked so
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| 24 | serene as he did then. I used to fancy, as I sat by him of an
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| 25 | evening, on a green slope, and saw him watch the kite high in the
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| 26 | quiet air, that it lifted his mind out of its confusion, and bore
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| 27 | it (such was my boyish thought) into the skies. As he wound the
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| 28 | string in and it came lower and lower down out of the beautiful
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| 29 | light, until it fluttered to the ground, and lay there like a dead
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| 30 | thing, he seemed to wake gradually out of a dream; and I remember
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| 31 | to have seen him take it up, and look about him in a lost way, as
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| 32 | if they had both come down together, so that I pitied him with all
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| 33 | my heart.
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| 34 | While I advanced in friendship and intimacy with Mr. Dick, I did
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| 35 | not go backward in the favour of his staunch friend, my aunt. She
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| 36 | took so kindly to me, that, in the course of a few weeks, she
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| 37 | shortened my adopted name of Trotwood into Trot; and even
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| 38 | encouraged me to hope, that if I went on as I had begun, I might
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| 39 | take equal rank in her affections with my sister Betsey Trotwood.
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| 40 | 'Trot,' said my aunt one evening, when the backgammon-board was
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| 41 | placed as usual for herself and Mr. Dick, 'we must not forget your
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| 42 | education.'
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| 43 | This was my only subject of anxiety, and I felt quite delighted by
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| 44 | her referring to it.
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| 45 | 'Should you like to go to school at Canterbury?' said my aunt.
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| 46 | I replied that I should like it very much, as it was so near her.
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| 47 | 'Good,' said my aunt. 'Should you like to go tomorrow?'
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| 48 | Being already no stranger to the general rapidity of my aunt's
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| 49 | evolutions, I was not surprised by the suddenness of the proposal,
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| 50 | and said: 'Yes.'
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| 51 | 'Good,' said my aunt again. 'Janet, hire the grey pony and chaise
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| 52 | tomorrow morning at ten o'clock, and pack up Master Trotwood's
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| 53 | clothes tonight.'
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| 54 | I was greatly elated by these orders; but my heart smote me for my
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| 55 | selfishness, when I witnessed their effect on Mr. Dick, who was so
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| 56 | low-spirited at the prospect of our separation, and played so ill
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| 57 | in consequence, that my aunt, after giving him several admonitory
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| 58 | raps on the knuckles with her dice-box, shut up the board, and
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| 59 | declined to play with him any more. But, on hearing from my aunt
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| 60 | that I should sometimes come over on a Saturday, and that he could
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| 61 | sometimes come and see me on a Wednesday, he revived; and vowed to
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| 62 | make another kite for those occasions, of proportions greatly
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| 63 | surpassing the present one. In the morning he was downhearted
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| 64 | again, and would have sustained himself by giving me all the money
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| 65 | he had in his possession, gold and silver too, if my aunt had not
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| 66 | interposed, and limited the gift to five shillings, which, at his
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| 67 | earnest petition, were afterwards increased to ten. We parted at
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| 68 | the garden-gate in a most affectionate manner, and Mr. Dick did not
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| 69 | go into the house until my aunt had driven me out of sight of it.
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| 70 | My aunt, who was perfectly indifferent to public opinion, drove the
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| 71 | grey pony through Dover in a masterly manner; sitting high and
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| 72 | stiff like a state coachman, keeping a steady eye upon him wherever
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| 73 | he went, and making a point of not letting him have his own way in
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| 74 | any respect. When we came into the country road, she permitted him
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| 75 | to relax a little, however; and looking at me down in a valley of
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| 76 | cushion by her side, asked me whether I was happy?
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| 77 | 'Very happy indeed, thank you, aunt,' I said.
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| 78 | She was much gratified; and both her hands being occupied, patted
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| 79 | me on the head with her whip.
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| 80 | 'Is it a large school, aunt?' I asked.
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| 81 | 'Why, I don't know,' said my aunt. 'We are going to Mr.
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| 82 | Wickfield's first.'
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| 83 | 'Does he keep a school?' I asked.
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| 84 | 'No, Trot,' said my aunt. 'He keeps an office.'
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| 85 | I asked for no more information about Mr. Wickfield, as she offered
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| 86 | none, and we conversed on other subjects until we came to
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| 87 | Canterbury, where, as it was market-day, my aunt had a great
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| 88 | opportunity of insinuating the grey pony among carts, baskets,
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| 89 | vegetables, and huckster's goods. The hair-breadth turns and
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| 90 | twists we made, drew down upon us a variety of speeches from the
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| 91 | people standing about, which were not always complimentary; but my
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| 92 | aunt drove on with perfect indifference, and I dare say would have
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| 93 | taken her own way with as much coolness through an enemy's country.
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| 94 | At length we stopped before a very old house bulging out over the
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| 95 | road; a house with long low lattice-windows bulging out still
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| 96 | farther, and beams with carved heads on the ends bulging out too,
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| 97 | so that I fancied the whole house was leaning forward, trying to
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| 98 | see who was passing on the narrow pavement below. It was quite
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| 99 | spotless in its cleanliness. The old-fashioned brass knocker on
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| 100 | the low arched door, ornamented with carved garlands of fruit and
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| 101 | flowers, twinkled like a star; the two stone steps descending to
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| 102 | the door were as white as if they had been covered with fair linen;
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| 103 | and all the angles and corners, and carvings and mouldings, and
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| 104 | quaint little panes of glass, and quainter little windows, though
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| 105 | as old as the hills, were as pure as any snow that ever fell upon
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| 106 | the hills.
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| 107 | When the pony-chaise stopped at the door, and my eyes were intent
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| 108 | upon the house, I saw a cadaverous face appear at a small window on
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| 109 | the ground floor (in a little round tower that formed one side of
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| 110 | the house), and quickly disappear. The low arched door then
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| 111 | opened, and the face came out. It was quite as cadaverous as it
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| 112 | had looked in the window, though in the grain of it there was that
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| 113 | tinge of red which is sometimes to be observed in the skins of
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| 114 | red-haired people. It belonged to a red-haired person - a youth of
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| 115 | fifteen, as I take it now, but looking much older - whose hair was
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| 116 | cropped as close as the closest stubble; who had hardly any
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| 117 | eyebrows, and no eyelashes, and eyes of a red-brown, so unsheltered
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| 118 | and unshaded, that I remember wondering how he went to sleep. He
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| 119 | was high-shouldered and bony; dressed in decent black, with a white
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| 120 | wisp of a neckcloth; buttoned up to the throat; and had a long,
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| 121 | lank, skeleton hand, which particularly attracted my attention, as
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| 122 | he stood at the pony's head, rubbing his chin with it, and looking
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| 123 | up at us in the chaise.
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| 124 | 'Is Mr. Wickfield at home, Uriah Heep?' said my aunt.
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| 125 | 'Mr. Wickfield's at home, ma'am,' said Uriah Heep, 'if you'll
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| 126 | please to walk in there' - pointing with his long hand to the room
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| 127 | he meant.
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| 128 | We got out; and leaving him to hold the pony, went into a long low
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| 129 | parlour looking towards the street, from the window of which I
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| 130 | caught a glimpse, as I went in, of Uriah Heep breathing into the
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| 131 | pony's nostrils, and immediately covering them with his hand, as if
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| 132 | he were putting some spell upon him. Opposite to the tall old
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| 133 | chimney-piece were two portraits: one of a gentleman with grey hair
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| 134 | (though not by any means an old man) and black eyebrows, who was
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| 135 | looking over some papers tied together with red tape; the other, of
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| 136 | a lady, with a very placid and sweet expression of face, who was
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| 137 | looking at me.
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| 138 | I believe I was turning about in search of Uriah's picture, when,
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| 139 | a door at the farther end of the room opening, a gentleman entered,
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| 140 | at sight of whom I turned to the first-mentioned portrait again, to
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| 141 | make quite sure that it had not come out of its frame. But it was
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| 142 | stationary; and as the gentleman advanced into the light, I saw
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| 143 | that he was some years older than when he had had his picture
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| 144 | painted.
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| 145 | 'Miss Betsey Trotwood,' said the gentleman, 'pray walk in. I was
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| 146 | engaged for a moment, but you'll excuse my being busy. You know my
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| 147 | motive. I have but one in life.'
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| 148 | Miss Betsey thanked him, and we went into his room, which was
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| 149 | furnished as an office, with books, papers, tin boxes, and so
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| 150 | forth. It looked into a garden, and had an iron safe let into the
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| 151 | wall; so immediately over the mantelshelf, that I wondered, as I
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| 152 | sat down, how the sweeps got round it when they swept the chimney.
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| 153 | 'Well, Miss Trotwood,' said Mr. Wickfield; for I soon found that it
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| 154 | was he, and that he was a lawyer, and steward of the estates of a
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| 155 | rich gentleman of the county; 'what wind blows you here? Not an
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| 156 | ill wind, I hope?'
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| 157 | 'No,' replied my aunt. 'I have not come for any law.'
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| 158 | 'That's right, ma'am,' said Mr. Wickfield. 'You had better come
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| 159 | for anything else.'
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| 160 | His hair was quite white now, though his eyebrows were still black.
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| 161 | He had a very agreeable face, and, I thought, was handsome. There
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| 162 | was a certain richness in his complexion, which I had been long
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| 163 | accustomed, under Peggotty's tuition, to connect with port wine;
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| 164 | and I fancied it was in his voice too, and referred his growing
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| 165 | corpulency to the same cause. He was very cleanly dressed, in a
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| 166 | blue coat, striped waistcoat, and nankeen trousers; and his fine
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| 167 | frilled shirt and cambric neckcloth looked unusually soft and
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| 168 | white, reminding my strolling fancy (I call to mind) of the plumage
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| 169 | on the breast of a swan.
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| 170 | 'This is my nephew,' said my aunt.
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| 171 | 'Wasn't aware you had one, Miss Trotwood,' said Mr. Wickfield.
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| 172 | 'My grand-nephew, that is to say,' observed my aunt.
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| 173 | 'Wasn't aware you had a grand-nephew, I give you my word,' said Mr.
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| 174 | Wickfield.
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| 175 | 'I have adopted him,' said my aunt, with a wave of her hand,
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| 176 | importing that his knowledge and his ignorance were all one to her,
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| 177 | 'and I have brought him here, to put to a school where he may be
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| 178 | thoroughly well taught, and well treated. Now tell me where that
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| 179 | school is, and what it is, and all about it.'
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| 180 | 'Before I can advise you properly,' said Mr. Wickfield - 'the old
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| 181 | question, you know. What's your motive in this?'
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| 182 | 'Deuce take the man!' exclaimed my aunt. 'Always fishing for
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| 183 | motives, when they're on the surface! Why, to make the child happy
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| 184 | and useful.'
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| 185 | 'It must be a mixed motive, I think,' said Mr. Wickfield, shaking
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| 186 | his head and smiling incredulously.
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| 187 | 'A mixed fiddlestick,' returned my aunt. 'You claim to have one
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| 188 | plain motive in all you do yourself. You don't suppose, I hope,
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| 189 | that you are the only plain dealer in the world?'
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| 190 | 'Ay, but I have only one motive in life, Miss Trotwood,' he
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| 191 | rejoined, smiling. 'Other people have dozens, scores, hundreds.
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| 192 | I have only one. There's the difference. However, that's beside
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| 193 | the question. The best school? Whatever the motive, you want the
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| 194 | best?'
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| 195 | My aunt nodded assent.
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| 196 | 'At the best we have,' said Mr. Wickfield, considering, 'your
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| 197 | nephew couldn't board just now.'
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| 198 | 'But he could board somewhere else, I suppose?' suggested my aunt.
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| 199 | Mr. Wickfield thought I could. After a little discussion, he
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| 200 | proposed to take my aunt to the school, that she might see it and
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| 201 | judge for herself; also, to take her, with the same object, to two
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| 202 | or three houses where he thought I could be boarded. My aunt
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| 203 | embracing the proposal, we were all three going out together, when
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| 204 | he stopped and said:
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| 205 | 'Our little friend here might have some motive, perhaps, for
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| 206 | objecting to the arrangements. I think we had better leave him
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| 207 | behind?'
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| 208 | My aunt seemed disposed to contest the point; but to facilitate
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| 209 | matters I said I would gladly remain behind, if they pleased; and
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| 210 | returned into Mr. Wickfield's office, where I sat down again, in
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| 211 | the chair I had first occupied, to await their return.
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| 212 | It so happened that this chair was opposite a narrow passage, which
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| 213 | ended in the little circular room where I had seen Uriah Heep's
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| 214 | pale face looking out of the window. Uriah, having taken the pony
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| 215 | to a neighbouring stable, was at work at a desk in this room, which
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| 216 | had a brass frame on the top to hang paper upon, and on which the
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| 217 | writing he was making a copy of was then hanging. Though his face
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| 218 | was towards me, I thought, for some time, the writing being between
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| 219 | us, that he could not see me; but looking that way more
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| 220 | attentively, it made me uncomfortable to observe that, every now
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| 221 | and then, his sleepless eyes would come below the writing, like two
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| 222 | red suns, and stealthily stare at me for I dare say a whole minute
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| 223 | at a time, during which his pen went, or pretended to go, as
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| 224 | cleverly as ever. I made several attempts to get out of their way
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| 225 | - such as standing on a chair to look at a map on the other side of
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| 226 | the room, and poring over the columns of a Kentish newspaper - but
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| 227 | they always attracted me back again; and whenever I looked towards
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| 228 | those two red suns, I was sure to find them, either just rising or
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| 229 | just setting.
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| 230 | At length, much to my relief, my aunt and Mr. Wickfield came back,
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| 231 | after a pretty long absence. They were not so successful as I
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| 232 | could have wished; for though the advantages of the school were
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| 233 | undeniable, my aunt had not approved of any of the boarding-houses
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| 234 | proposed for me.
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| 235 | 'It's very unfortunate,' said my aunt. 'I don't know what to do,
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| 236 | Trot.'
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| 237 | 'It does happen unfortunately,' said Mr. Wickfield. 'But I'll tell
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| 238 | you what you can do, Miss Trotwood.'
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| 239 | 'What's that?' inquired my aunt.
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| 240 | 'Leave your nephew here, for the present. He's a quiet fellow. He
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| 241 | won't disturb me at all. It's a capital house for study. As quiet
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| 242 | as a monastery, and almost as roomy. Leave him here.'
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| 243 | My aunt evidently liked the offer, though she was delicate of
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| 244 | accepting it. So did I.
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| 245 | 'Come, Miss Trotwood,' said Mr. Wickfield. 'This is the way out of
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| 246 | the difficulty. It's only a temporary arrangement, you know. If
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| 247 | it don't act well, or don't quite accord with our mutual
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| 248 | convenience, he can easily go to the right-about. There will be
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| 249 | time to find some better place for him in the meanwhile. You had
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| 250 | better determine to leave him here for the present!'
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| 251 | 'I am very much obliged to you,' said my aunt; 'and so is he, I
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| 252 | see; but -'
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| 253 | 'Come! I know what you mean,' cried Mr. Wickfield. 'You shall not
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| 254 | be oppressed by the receipt of favours, Miss Trotwood. You may pay
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| 255 | for him, if you like. We won't be hard about terms, but you shall
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| 256 | pay if you will.'
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| 257 | 'On that understanding,' said my aunt, 'though it doesn't lessen
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| 258 | the real obligation, I shall be very glad to leave him.'
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| 259 | 'Then come and see my little housekeeper,' said Mr. Wickfield.
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| 260 | We accordingly went up a wonderful old staircase; with a balustrade
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| 261 | so broad that we might have gone up that, almost as easily; and
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| 262 | into a shady old drawing-room, lighted by some three or four of the
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| 263 | quaint windows I had looked up at from the street: which had old
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| 264 | oak seats in them, that seemed to have come of the same trees as
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| 265 | the shining oak floor, and the great beams in the ceiling. It was
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| 266 | a prettily furnished room, with a piano and some lively furniture
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| 267 | in red and green, and some flowers. It seemed to be all old nooks
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| 268 | and corners; and in every nook and corner there was some queer
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| 269 | little table, or cupboard, or bookcase, or seat, or something or
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| 270 | other, that made me think there was not such another good corner in
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| 271 | the room; until I looked at the next one, and found it equal to it,
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| 272 | if not better. On everything there was the same air of retirement
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| 273 | and cleanliness that marked the house outside.
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| 274 | Mr. Wickfield tapped at a door in a corner of the panelled wall,
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| 275 | and a girl of about my own age came quickly out and kissed him. On
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| 276 | her face, I saw immediately the placid and sweet expression of the
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| 277 | lady whose picture had looked at me downstairs. It seemed to my
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| 278 | imagination as if the portrait had grown womanly, and the original
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| 279 | remained a child. Although her face was quite bright and happy,
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| 280 | there was a tranquillity about it, and about her - a quiet, good,
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| 281 | calm spirit - that I never have forgotten; that I shall never
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| 282 | forget. This was his little housekeeper, his daughter Agnes, Mr.
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| 283 | Wickfield said. When I heard how he said it, and saw how he held
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| 284 | her hand, I guessed what the one motive of his life was.
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| 285 | She had a little basket-trifle hanging at her side, with keys in
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| 286 | it; and she looked as staid and as discreet a housekeeper as the
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| 287 | old house could have. She listened to her father as he told her
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| 288 | about me, with a pleasant face; and when he had concluded, proposed
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| 289 | to my aunt that we should go upstairs and see my room. We all went
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| 290 | together, she before us: and a glorious old room it was, with more
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| 291 | oak beams, and diamond panes; and the broad balustrade going all
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| 292 | the way up to it.
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| 293 | I cannot call to mind where or when, in my childhood, I had seen a
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| 294 | stained glass window in a church. Nor do I recollect its subject.
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| 295 | But I know that when I saw her turn round, in the grave light of
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| 296 | the old staircase, and wait for us, above, I thought of that
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| 297 | window; and I associated something of its tranquil brightness with
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| 298 | Agnes Wickfield ever afterwards.
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| 299 | My aunt was as happy as I was, in the arrangement made for me; and
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| 300 | we went down to the drawing-room again, well pleased and gratified.
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| 301 | As she would not hear of staying to dinner, lest she should by any
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| 302 | chance fail to arrive at home with the grey pony before dark; and
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| 303 | as I apprehend Mr. Wickfield knew her too well to argue any point
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| 304 | with her; some lunch was provided for her there, and Agnes went
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| 305 | back to her governess, and Mr. Wickfield to his office. So we were
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| 306 | left to take leave of one another without any restraint.
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| 307 | She told me that everything would be arranged for me by Mr.
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| 308 | Wickfield, and that I should want for nothing, and gave me the
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| 309 | kindest words and the best advice.
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| 310 | 'Trot,' said my aunt in conclusion, 'be a credit to yourself, to
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| 311 | me, and Mr. Dick, and Heaven be with you!'
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| 312 | I was greatly overcome, and could only thank her, again and again,
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| 313 | and send my love to Mr. Dick.
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| 314 | 'Never,' said my aunt, 'be mean in anything; never be false; never
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| 315 | be cruel. Avoid those three vices, Trot, and I can always be
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| 316 | hopeful of you.'
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| 317 | I promised, as well as I could, that I would not abuse her kindness
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| 318 | or forget her admonition.
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| 319 | 'The pony's at the door,' said my aunt, 'and I am off! Stay here.'
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| 320 | With these words she embraced me hastily, and went out of the room,
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| 321 | shutting the door after her. At first I was startled by so abrupt
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| 322 | a departure, and almost feared I had displeased her; but when I
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| 323 | looked into the street, and saw how dejectedly she got into the
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| 324 | chaise, and drove away without looking up, I understood her better
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| 325 | and did not do her that injustice.
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| 326 | By five o'clock, which was Mr. Wickfield's dinner-hour, I had
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| 327 | mustered up my spirits again, and was ready for my knife and fork.
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| 328 | The cloth was only laid for us two; but Agnes was waiting in the
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| 329 | drawing-room before dinner, went down with her father, and sat
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| 330 | opposite to him at table. I doubted whether he could have dined
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| 331 | without her.
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| 332 | We did not stay there, after dinner, but came upstairs into the
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| 333 | drawing-room again: in one snug corner of which, Agnes set glasses
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| 334 | for her father, and a decanter of port wine. I thought he would
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| 335 | have missed its usual flavour, if it had been put there for him by
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| 336 | any other hands.
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| 337 | There he sat, taking his wine, and taking a good deal of it, for
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| 338 | two hours; while Agnes played on the piano, worked, and talked to
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| 339 | him and me. He was, for the most part, gay and cheerful with us;
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| 340 | but sometimes his eyes rested on her, and he fell into a brooding
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| 341 | state, and was silent. She always observed this quickly, I
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| 342 | thought, and always roused him with a question or caress. Then he
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| 343 | came out of his meditation, and drank more wine.
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| 344 | Agnes made the tea, and presided over it; and the time passed away
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| 345 | after it, as after dinner, until she went to bed; when her father
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| 346 | took her in his arms and kissed her, and, she being gone, ordered
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| 347 | candles in his office. Then I went to bed too.
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| 348 | But in the course of the evening I had rambled down to the door,
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| 349 | and a little way along the street, that I might have another peep
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| 350 | at the old houses, and the grey Cathedral; and might think of my
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| 351 | coming through that old city on my journey, and of my passing the
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| 352 | very house I lived in, without knowing it. As I came back, I saw
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| 353 | Uriah Heep shutting up the office; and feeling friendly towards
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| 354 | everybody, went in and spoke to him, and at parting, gave him my
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| 355 | hand. But oh, what a clammy hand his was! as ghostly to the touch
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| 356 | as to the sight! I rubbed mine afterwards, to warm it, AND TO RUB
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| 357 | HIS OFF.
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| 358 | It was such an uncomfortable hand, that, when I went to my room, it
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| 359 | was still cold and wet upon my memory. Leaning out of the window,
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| 360 | and seeing one of the faces on the beam-ends looking at me
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| 361 | sideways, I fancied it was Uriah Heep got up there somehow, and
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| 362 | shut him out in a hurry.
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